greatsnake
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What are the signs that the person, which you are dating suffers from victim mentality? and can it be used to control or manipulate the other person?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Victim mentality
- Thread starter greatsnake
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I got you.
- Complains all the time
- Places blame on everyone else
- Dwells on the past
- Focuses on negatives
- Can't take a compliment
- General self-loathing
- Everything is external/no self-awareness
greatsnake
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Thanks Alpha. I'm having the experience where the chick tells me that every guy she dates leaves her/get married after, that people bail on her....
There's probably a very good reason all her Exes left her behind them. Or, she has a bad habit of choosing the wrong men to be with.
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Responsible people tend to live in the present moment with one healthy eye on the future. They diligently work on
their circle of influence i.e. they concentrate on what's in their control.
Contrast that with victims who dwell in the past and constantly complain about circumstances that are beyond their control. i.e. they concentrate on things that are outside their circle of influence. Victims usually have several ready made excuses as to why their life is currently stuck and for their general unhappiness (Parents fault, they weren't given a pony as a kid, teachers were mean, grew up in the wrong neighborhood in the wrong town in the wrong time.
their circle of influence i.e. they concentrate on what's in their control.
Contrast that with victims who dwell in the past and constantly complain about circumstances that are beyond their control. i.e. they concentrate on things that are outside their circle of influence. Victims usually have several ready made excuses as to why their life is currently stuck and for their general unhappiness (Parents fault, they weren't given a pony as a kid, teachers were mean, grew up in the wrong neighborhood in the wrong town in the wrong time.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
greatsnake
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Yeah, that's what I'm beginning to think. But, wouldn't someone want to put their best foot forward? as opposed to mentioning it early in the dating process?
greatsnake
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I agree.
Women usually tell you what their deal is if you listen. Yours just gave you a big clue.
Not if she wants to remain a victim. Don't let her drag you into her frame.
The good old Doc said something like "Women don't lie and men don't listen"
Women reveal themselves if we would only learn the art of active listening. Let her open up and reveal herself. Tease her
and ball bust her in a playful manner on what she's saying. You'll find out if she has a sense of humor or is a stuck up cow.
Want to put her best foot forward? You know, I don't know how many times that I heard a woman mention that she was
stubborn and saying with pride as if it was a positive quality. Now is that a lack of awareness or what.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
greatsnake
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damn, i'm thinking that she may have some glaring issues like abandonment. I do remember her mentioning that she had a dream that I had run off on her lol
Yes, be aware of any red flags you see. If she has some type of personality problem, they will show up along the way. Until then proceed as usual.
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Bro be careful. Once a girl starts telling you this, she will look at you as her emotional tampon/therapist.
You should just try to have alot of fun and sex with her so she forgets about "every guy she dates."
greatsnake
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lol what signs of personality problems should i look after?
ahah already having all the fun and sex. It's just interesting to check out her character.
ahah already having all the fun and sex. It's just interesting to check out her character.
lizardking82
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You have a thread regarding this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/toxic-girls-what-are-the-red-flags.239129/
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
phil2015
Senior Don Juan
My recent ex had this issue.....She said all the guys she had serious relationships with, all settled, got married, had children after they left her.....
She was convinced one day that 'everything would go wrong' or that I would cheat on her. A very bad mindset to start and maintain a relationship
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
- Failure to take criticism
- Uptight sense of humor
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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Anyone who fails to take criticism is, in my eyes, a person I can hardly trust.
phil2015
Senior Don Juan
One of the last things mine say was 'I appear to be doing better without her'
Still pondering the exact meaning, but I think its as broad as it is long
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
The victim mentality... It's also a sign of NPD and attention wh0r3ing.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.