greatsnake
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What are the signs that the person, which you are dating suffers from victim mentality? and can it be used to control or manipulate the other person?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Victim mentality
- Thread starter greatsnake
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I got you.
- Complains all the time
- Places blame on everyone else
- Dwells on the past
- Focuses on negatives
- Can't take a compliment
- General self-loathing
- Everything is external/no self-awareness
greatsnake
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Thanks Alpha. I'm having the experience where the chick tells me that every guy she dates leaves her/get married after, that people bail on her....
There's probably a very good reason all her Exes left her behind them. Or, she has a bad habit of choosing the wrong men to be with.
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Responsible people tend to live in the present moment with one healthy eye on the future. They diligently work on
their circle of influence i.e. they concentrate on what's in their control.
Contrast that with victims who dwell in the past and constantly complain about circumstances that are beyond their control. i.e. they concentrate on things that are outside their circle of influence. Victims usually have several ready made excuses as to why their life is currently stuck and for their general unhappiness (Parents fault, they weren't given a pony as a kid, teachers were mean, grew up in the wrong neighborhood in the wrong town in the wrong time.
their circle of influence i.e. they concentrate on what's in their control.
Contrast that with victims who dwell in the past and constantly complain about circumstances that are beyond their control. i.e. they concentrate on things that are outside their circle of influence. Victims usually have several ready made excuses as to why their life is currently stuck and for their general unhappiness (Parents fault, they weren't given a pony as a kid, teachers were mean, grew up in the wrong neighborhood in the wrong town in the wrong time.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
greatsnake
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Yeah, that's what I'm beginning to think. But, wouldn't someone want to put their best foot forward? as opposed to mentioning it early in the dating process?
greatsnake
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I agree.
Women usually tell you what their deal is if you listen. Yours just gave you a big clue.
Not if she wants to remain a victim. Don't let her drag you into her frame.
The good old Doc said something like "Women don't lie and men don't listen"
Women reveal themselves if we would only learn the art of active listening. Let her open up and reveal herself. Tease her
and ball bust her in a playful manner on what she's saying. You'll find out if she has a sense of humor or is a stuck up cow.
Want to put her best foot forward? You know, I don't know how many times that I heard a woman mention that she was
stubborn and saying with pride as if it was a positive quality. Now is that a lack of awareness or what.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
greatsnake
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damn, i'm thinking that she may have some glaring issues like abandonment. I do remember her mentioning that she had a dream that I had run off on her lol
Yes, be aware of any red flags you see. If she has some type of personality problem, they will show up along the way. Until then proceed as usual.
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Bro be careful. Once a girl starts telling you this, she will look at you as her emotional tampon/therapist.
You should just try to have alot of fun and sex with her so she forgets about "every guy she dates."
greatsnake
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lol what signs of personality problems should i look after?
ahah already having all the fun and sex. It's just interesting to check out her character.
ahah already having all the fun and sex. It's just interesting to check out her character.
lizardking82
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You have a thread regarding this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/toxic-girls-what-are-the-red-flags.239129/
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
phil2015
Senior Don Juan
My recent ex had this issue.....She said all the guys she had serious relationships with, all settled, got married, had children after they left her.....
She was convinced one day that 'everything would go wrong' or that I would cheat on her. A very bad mindset to start and maintain a relationship
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
- Failure to take criticism
- Uptight sense of humor
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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Anyone who fails to take criticism is, in my eyes, a person I can hardly trust.
phil2015
Senior Don Juan
One of the last things mine say was 'I appear to be doing better without her'
Still pondering the exact meaning, but I think its as broad as it is long
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
The victim mentality... It's also a sign of NPD and attention wh0r3ing.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.