I see a lot of hateful words posted here from BPD exes describing their Ex. I've been through the wringer once, but only feel pity for her. She is what she is most likely because of early premature development issues and most probably will never be truly happy with her life.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Triangulation
- Thread starter Tuttleycool
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Yes, as is the case with most things in life, knowledge is power. It is something best known beforehand, but sometimes we just stumble into a bad situation not knowing anything about it…
xstang77
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Agreed.
Tuttleycool
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Whoa. Elaborate a bit more on the early development issues, if you could please.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
xstang77
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Aka:her childhood,what was it like. Was she neglected and or abandoned in her earlier years,what's her relationship like with her parents.
The birth mother is the primary care giver and is supposed to form a loving bond with the child, but if she has a cold mother that views her as a distraction, what does the child learn?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
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mrgoodstuff
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PD means what?
xstang77
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We're using it in reference to personality disorders..more so bpd.
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mrgoodstuff
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Understood. So kinda like a female that thinks abusive behavior and being ignored and neglected means love.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
If you get too close she drives you away because of her abandonment fears. Make sense? No
When you are gone she loves you more. Make sense? No
Bottom line - She is afraid of intimacy with another person because she does not know what it is, or is afraid to react to it…
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xstang77
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Yes and the abusive behavior will be projected onto you,usually as like your the one that was responsible for her awful childhood.so if your ever with a girl that goes ballistic over something small,degrades you and gets a deep black empty look in her eyes and acts cold towards you with hate like you murdered her whole family then texts you an hour later apologizing saying she loves you,run far far away.
Right
The problem is her personality issues. Her personality is who she is, which must be ok, so it's your fault.
xstang77
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Yup,there's no winning the disorder wins everytime. They'll leave you and make themselves out to be the victim,turn your friends against you then once she finds something shiny and new even after multiple recycles she'll drop you like you never existed and go pretend to have a happy life while being enabled by the same people they talk about while your left putting the pieces of your life back together.
Yes, but at that point she is someone else's problem…
A fact to feel very good about
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
xstang77
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Absolutely,I even made that non directly clear to her I felt that way,let the new guy take the whole burden of the disorder alone,mine has tried just this past weekend after a month of nc to reach out...not today satan,not today.
Tuttleycool
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To be fair, it could bpd and me not know it lol. Possibly bipolar as she is seeing a dr about it.
You know what boy? You want real answers from forum members about a woman, then state all the facts from the git go if you want real answers.
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xstang77
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Then what are you still doing with her? You'll deal with this **** with her forever and no matter what you do you'll lose.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.