I see a lot of hateful words posted here from BPD exes describing their Ex. I've been through the wringer once, but only feel pity for her. She is what she is most likely because of early premature development issues and most probably will never be truly happy with her life.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Triangulation
- Thread starter Tuttleycool
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Yes, as is the case with most things in life, knowledge is power. It is something best known beforehand, but sometimes we just stumble into a bad situation not knowing anything about it…
xstang77
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Agreed.
Tuttleycool
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Whoa. Elaborate a bit more on the early development issues, if you could please.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
xstang77
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Aka:her childhood,what was it like. Was she neglected and or abandoned in her earlier years,what's her relationship like with her parents.
The birth mother is the primary care giver and is supposed to form a loving bond with the child, but if she has a cold mother that views her as a distraction, what does the child learn?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
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mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
PD means what?
xstang77
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We're using it in reference to personality disorders..more so bpd.
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mrgoodstuff
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Understood. So kinda like a female that thinks abusive behavior and being ignored and neglected means love.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
If you get too close she drives you away because of her abandonment fears. Make sense? No
When you are gone she loves you more. Make sense? No
Bottom line - She is afraid of intimacy with another person because she does not know what it is, or is afraid to react to it…
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xstang77
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Yes and the abusive behavior will be projected onto you,usually as like your the one that was responsible for her awful childhood.so if your ever with a girl that goes ballistic over something small,degrades you and gets a deep black empty look in her eyes and acts cold towards you with hate like you murdered her whole family then texts you an hour later apologizing saying she loves you,run far far away.
Right
The problem is her personality issues. Her personality is who she is, which must be ok, so it's your fault.
xstang77
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Yup,there's no winning the disorder wins everytime. They'll leave you and make themselves out to be the victim,turn your friends against you then once she finds something shiny and new even after multiple recycles she'll drop you like you never existed and go pretend to have a happy life while being enabled by the same people they talk about while your left putting the pieces of your life back together.
Yes, but at that point she is someone else's problem…
A fact to feel very good about
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
xstang77
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Absolutely,I even made that non directly clear to her I felt that way,let the new guy take the whole burden of the disorder alone,mine has tried just this past weekend after a month of nc to reach out...not today satan,not today.
Tuttleycool
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To be fair, it could bpd and me not know it lol. Possibly bipolar as she is seeing a dr about it.
You know what boy? You want real answers from forum members about a woman, then state all the facts from the git go if you want real answers.
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xstang77
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Then what are you still doing with her? You'll deal with this **** with her forever and no matter what you do you'll lose.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.