I see a lot of hateful words posted here from BPD exes describing their Ex. I've been through the wringer once, but only feel pity for her. She is what she is most likely because of early premature development issues and most probably will never be truly happy with her life.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Triangulation
- Thread starter Tuttleycool
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yes, as is the case with most things in life, knowledge is power. It is something best known beforehand, but sometimes we just stumble into a bad situation not knowing anything about it…
xstang77
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Agreed.
Tuttleycool
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Whoa. Elaborate a bit more on the early development issues, if you could please.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
xstang77
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Aka:her childhood,what was it like. Was she neglected and or abandoned in her earlier years,what's her relationship like with her parents.
The birth mother is the primary care giver and is supposed to form a loving bond with the child, but if she has a cold mother that views her as a distraction, what does the child learn?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
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mrgoodstuff
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PD means what?
xstang77
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We're using it in reference to personality disorders..more so bpd.
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mrgoodstuff
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Understood. So kinda like a female that thinks abusive behavior and being ignored and neglected means love.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
If you get too close she drives you away because of her abandonment fears. Make sense? No
When you are gone she loves you more. Make sense? No
Bottom line - She is afraid of intimacy with another person because she does not know what it is, or is afraid to react to it…
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xstang77
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Yes and the abusive behavior will be projected onto you,usually as like your the one that was responsible for her awful childhood.so if your ever with a girl that goes ballistic over something small,degrades you and gets a deep black empty look in her eyes and acts cold towards you with hate like you murdered her whole family then texts you an hour later apologizing saying she loves you,run far far away.
Right
The problem is her personality issues. Her personality is who she is, which must be ok, so it's your fault.
xstang77
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Yup,there's no winning the disorder wins everytime. They'll leave you and make themselves out to be the victim,turn your friends against you then once she finds something shiny and new even after multiple recycles she'll drop you like you never existed and go pretend to have a happy life while being enabled by the same people they talk about while your left putting the pieces of your life back together.
Yes, but at that point she is someone else's problem…
A fact to feel very good about
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
xstang77
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Absolutely,I even made that non directly clear to her I felt that way,let the new guy take the whole burden of the disorder alone,mine has tried just this past weekend after a month of nc to reach out...not today satan,not today.
Tuttleycool
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To be fair, it could bpd and me not know it lol. Possibly bipolar as she is seeing a dr about it.
You know what boy? You want real answers from forum members about a woman, then state all the facts from the git go if you want real answers.
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xstang77
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Then what are you still doing with her? You'll deal with this **** with her forever and no matter what you do you'll lose.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.