I see a lot of hateful words posted here from BPD exes describing their Ex. I've been through the wringer once, but only feel pity for her. She is what she is most likely because of early premature development issues and most probably will never be truly happy with her life.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Triangulation
- Thread starter Tuttleycool
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Yes, as is the case with most things in life, knowledge is power. It is something best known beforehand, but sometimes we just stumble into a bad situation not knowing anything about it…
xstang77
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Agreed.
Tuttleycool
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Whoa. Elaborate a bit more on the early development issues, if you could please.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
xstang77
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Aka:her childhood,what was it like. Was she neglected and or abandoned in her earlier years,what's her relationship like with her parents.
The birth mother is the primary care giver and is supposed to form a loving bond with the child, but if she has a cold mother that views her as a distraction, what does the child learn?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
If baby momma gets a stepdad that rapes the daughter enough times, how does that effect her?
If as an adult daughter doesn't talk to her mother ever, why is that?
If as an adult the girls closest relationship is with the stepdad that raped her, aka Stockholm syndrome, what's going on there?
Get the point?
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mrgoodstuff
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PD means what?
xstang77
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We're using it in reference to personality disorders..more so bpd.
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mrgoodstuff
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Understood. So kinda like a female that thinks abusive behavior and being ignored and neglected means love.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
If you get too close she drives you away because of her abandonment fears. Make sense? No
When you are gone she loves you more. Make sense? No
Bottom line - She is afraid of intimacy with another person because she does not know what it is, or is afraid to react to it…
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xstang77
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Yes and the abusive behavior will be projected onto you,usually as like your the one that was responsible for her awful childhood.so if your ever with a girl that goes ballistic over something small,degrades you and gets a deep black empty look in her eyes and acts cold towards you with hate like you murdered her whole family then texts you an hour later apologizing saying she loves you,run far far away.
Right
The problem is her personality issues. Her personality is who she is, which must be ok, so it's your fault.
xstang77
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Yup,there's no winning the disorder wins everytime. They'll leave you and make themselves out to be the victim,turn your friends against you then once she finds something shiny and new even after multiple recycles she'll drop you like you never existed and go pretend to have a happy life while being enabled by the same people they talk about while your left putting the pieces of your life back together.
Yes, but at that point she is someone else's problem…
A fact to feel very good about
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
xstang77
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Absolutely,I even made that non directly clear to her I felt that way,let the new guy take the whole burden of the disorder alone,mine has tried just this past weekend after a month of nc to reach out...not today satan,not today.
Tuttleycool
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To be fair, it could bpd and me not know it lol. Possibly bipolar as she is seeing a dr about it.
You know what boy? You want real answers from forum members about a woman, then state all the facts from the git go if you want real answers.
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xstang77
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Then what are you still doing with her? You'll deal with this **** with her forever and no matter what you do you'll lose.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.