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Toxic masculinity

Die Hard

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This shyt is getting out of hand. I remember Rollo warning about it a few years ago but I didn't see the term being used anywhere then. However, nowaydays it's becoming mainstream... I was watching that show "Barry" and one bytch accused the main guy of having toxic masculinity. And now there's this Gilette ad where you can hear the term being used at the very beginning of the ad:

So anyway, I decided that if someone (probably a woman) ever decided to bring up the term 'toxic masculinity', I'm gonna respond by bringing up 'toxic femininity'. Hey, two can play that game, right?!

So they've defined toxic masculinity as negative traits which are typically displayed by men or boys:
  • Physical bullying
  • Mansplaining
  • Catcalling
  • not showing emotions, except anger
  • etc.
So let's come up with our own list, for toxic femininity! I define it as negative traits which are typically displayed by women or girls!

Here's a start:
  • Playing the victim card
  • Passive-agressiveness: acting in a condescending way, saying insulting/hurtful things, but doing it in a covert manner.... Then when you call them out on it they say they didn't mean it that way (while they know damn well that it was their intention to insult and provoke!)
Give me more, guys. All the examples you can think of!
 
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Spaz

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The only real buttress towards all these is focusing on you.

Working and adding on traits that makes you greater as time passes.

And then passing it on to other men as a form of mentorship.

Focusing on women and their "toxicity" does nothing to assist you towards being greater then before. It's a sure fire way of making a man sink further in a quagmire of his own making.
 

Who Dares Win

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Do you pay attention to geovah witness when they say you are a sinner and you deserve "the worst a man ca get"?

Nope you just go your own way and dont even bother to waste your spit if they are on fire, we should do the same things with these humanoids.

Once the gov will no longer be able to feed the parasites, support nets will be on volutary base and someone will be cut out hopefully.
 

Fruitbat

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Toxic masculinity exists, as does toxic femininity. “Toxic people exist” is a better definition.

Rapists, creeps, bullies etc are all toxic. The issue is when you attach the word “masculinity” to it. By defininition, you are claiming the source of this behaviour as being masculinity.

Do I wish some elements of this behaviour didn’t exist? Yes. The constant one-upmanship, the ruthless self-serving “me first” competitiveness. Needless intimidation, thoughtless exploitation and hard hearted ambivalence to the needs of others are all hallmarks of some male attitudes we find.

Would the world be better without them? Undoubtedly. However, these are not necessarily the full spectrum of male qualities. How about courage in the face of adversity? The strength to speak up to defend the weak? The power to protect your friends and family? These are the same testosterone fuelled impulses, yet expressed differently.

So the advert does have a minor point - yes, some men behave badly. The definition on this ad is laughable. Asking a woman out is not toxic.

However, the wider debate about the confused idea some men have of what it means to be a man remains. We see it on this forum in spades, not everyone I hasten to add.

MGTOW and this devil may care, all women are sl00ts, use and abuse, these are all toxic and it’s sad that some men have had the birthright of being a protector and benefactor of society robbed in favour of a narrow minded lifestyle.

The main issue with this advert is this: It is assumed that it is male CULTURE which enables these bad male traits. That it’s the fault of ALL men for not calling it out, that the bad eggs are the result of all of our actions.

Would somebody remind me how we view rapists? How do we feel about them, guys? Do they get high fives when they reach the most male of all institutions, prison? We chuckle with them, right?

The linking of what is basically bad behaviour of some to some male culture dynamic is the issue, but it does not excuse the bad actions of a small number of men.
 

Fruitbat

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There's no such thing as toxic masculinity.

It's actually a social engineering that works to drop bombs on masculinity alltogether.

There are toxic behaviours on both sides of the fence but we all do know which side of the fence currently needs a reboot...
Well, men pimp out women. Men get young girls hooked on heroin and then pimp our women. Rape is mainly a male on female thing. Murder is almost all male. As are all violent offences. Most pedos are men. Most fraud is male.

Now, I know there are female crimes etc and other issues with women. Heartless manipulation etc, but you have to say, worldwide, men are doing the worst shyt.

In normal, day to day middle class western life, yes, good men are being abused by spiteful women quite a lot. Widen the scope of enquiry and you might see women have a lot to be pissed off about.

I can’t quite believe I’m saying this after years of being astounded by some female behaviour. However, we discount a lot of male crime as just “it’s the way of the world”. That’s perhaps how some women justify their shyt when they rip off some poor sap guy.

All I’m saying is there ARE things as men we should oppose in our gender. We SHOULD aim to be better men, and expose those who aren’t. However, the shyt in the Gillette ad is nothing to do with that. It is wide of the mark and just does what this stuff always does - tries to attack the decent guys for stuff that the bad guys are doing.
 

samspade

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The bottom line is, are YOU toxic? Not because you have testosterone, but are you simply toxic. If not, you're fine. It's not your job to fix everyone else. There's no need to listen to the supposedly morally superior. Like @Who Dares Win said, there are plenty of people ready to tell you that you're living the wrong life. Ignore them - UNLESS you have cause to listen.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Well, men pimp out women. Men get young girls hooked on heroin and then pimp our women. Rape is mainly a male on female thing. Murder is almost all male. As are all violent offences. Most pedos are men. Most fraud is male.

Now, I know there are female crimes etc and other issues with women. Heartless manipulation etc, but you have to say, worldwide, men are doing the worst shyt.

In normal, day to day middle class western life, yes, good men are being abused by spiteful women quite a lot. Widen the scope of enquiry and you might see women have a lot to be pissed off about.

I can’t quite believe I’m saying this after years of being astounded by some female behaviour. However, we discount a lot of male crime as just “it’s the way of the world”. That’s perhaps how some women justify their shyt when they rip off some poor sap guy.

All I’m saying is there ARE things as men we should oppose in our gender. We SHOULD aim to be better men, and expose those who aren’t. However, the shyt in the Gillette ad is nothing to do with that. It is wide of the mark and just does what this stuff always does - tries to attack the decent guys for stuff that the bad guys are doing.
The decent guy is the only guy whose paying. The heartless pimp, player and crook feminism and societal controls have actually rewarded. But men cant keep doing a "poor me"
 

Bokanovsky

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Imagine, for a second, a tampon commercial about "toxic femininity". It shows women backstabbing their friends, gossiping about co-workers, and making false sexual harassment allegations. It also shows female high-school teachers having affairs with underage students, college girls getting drunk and being obnoxious at the club, teenagers getting pregnant and having abortions. At the the end of the commercial, you get some preachy, sermonizing message like "women should do better than that". Can you really even imagine a commercial like that being released??? It would the scandal of the century. The company releasing the commercial would immediately go out of business and the advertising people would be burned at the stake.
 

Music_czar

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Imagine, for a second, a tampon commercial about "toxic femininity". It shows women backstabbing their friends, gossiping about co-workers, and making false sexual harassment allegations. It also shows female high-school teachers having affairs with underage students, college girls getting drunk and being obnoxious at the club, teenagers getting pregnant and having abortions. At the the end of the commercial, you get some preachy, sermonizing message like "women should do better than that". Can you really even imagine a commercial like that being released??? It would the scandal of the century. The company releasing the commercial would immediately go out of business and the advertising people would be burned at the stake.
There’d be women’s marches all over the world and the company would go out of business over night

Men need to smarten up.. but a lot of them don’t give a fvck. They’re content with getting a little pvssy here and there without minding the storm clouds brewing overhead.
 

Fruitbat

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Masculinity equals set of attributes characteristic for men. I don't see raping tendency or pimping women characteristic for men. It's a patological behaviour, thus your understanding of this word is wrong or I'd rather say, it's already tainted by manshaming propaganda.
I didn’t say it was. I was responding to a comment that said women were the ones in need of revising their tendencies. I was merely pointing out most of the worlds bad behaviour is committed by men. NOT saying this is male toxicity. Read my post about which denounces this view entirely.

However, there are toxic behaviours which are typified by each gender. Raping is generally an element of toxicity which is generally expressed by Men.

As for man shaming propaganda, there is a big difference in saying that men should be demasculinised, and saying we there are undesirable behaviours of men we shouldn’t agree with or accept. Big difference.

The vast majority of crime, rape and murder worldwide is committed by men. Surely you can imagine how you would view that as a woman? We’re on here bytching about women being hypergamous and being stuck to their cell phones, can you not see the folly and hypocracy in calling that out when our fellow men are doing 100* worse, and it’s demonstrsbly and empirically linked to gender?

Is it male culture or men per se, no. Is it an aspect of male behaviour? Yes. You can’t argue the stats - men are by the offenders by nearly every metric available.

If it’s just toxicity, why are women not out raping and murdering like men are? Court bias? Don’t make me laugh.
 
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glass half full

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The only real buttress towards all these is focusing on you.

Working and adding on traits that makes you greater as time passes.

And then passing it on to other men as a form of mentorship.

Focusing on women and their "toxicity" does nothing to assist you towards being greater then before. It's a sure fire way of making a man sink further in a quagmire of his own making.
You have to focus on it so you know what to look for, and when. And not dwell on it, but take action. You have to experience it first hand, take note of it, then learn. Been there...I was taken to task by my ex's friends after I had a Stroke. Things were already shytty, but I learned the hard way how to deal with this. Unfortunately you might have to be very upfront about it, depending on the people you're around.

I have a strong sensitivity to stress/conflict after all this, and what happened that took me there. I can't handle conflict anymore. Even a nasty tv show can flip my switch now. But try to tell a female doctor that...when I tell my story they think I'm the problem. Because I'm a man, who shows attitude when I explain, just by saying what I do. That's the only excuse women need. They took my meds away that helped me knock the PTSD I was diagnosed with. So, I have to just "deal with it". Toxic Femininity is indeed very real, and it's certainly not a new thing.

Women can use toxic masculinity as a factor in breaking men down, their marriages, their reputation. It can be a genuinely real Bytch.
 

glass half full

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The decent guy is the only guy whose paying. The heartless pimp, player and crook feminism and societal controls have actually rewarded. But men cant keep doing a "poor me"
Exactly...see my above post for the consequences of doing that. The part about the doctor.
 

Spaz

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You have to focus on it so you know what to look for, and when. And not dwell on it, but take action. You have to experience it first hand, take note of it, then learn. Been there...I was taken to task by my ex's friends after I had a Stroke. Things were already shytty, but I learned the hard way how to deal with this. Unfortunately you might have to be very upfront about it, depending on the people you're around.

I have a strong sensitivity to stress/conflict after all this, and what happened that took me there. I can't handle conflict anymore. Even a nasty tv show can flip my switch now. But try to tell a female doctor that...when I tell my story they think I'm the problem. Because I'm a man, who shows attitude when I explain, just by saying what I do. That's the only excuse women need. They took my meds away that helped me knock the PTSD I was diagnosed with. So, I have to just "deal with it". Toxic Femininity is indeed very real, and it's certainly not a new thing.

Women can use toxic masculinity as a factor in breaking men down, their marriages, their reputation. It can be a genuinely real Bytch.
I understand.

I've known people who had a stroke and how it changes them overnight.
 

Die Hard

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Imagine, for a second, a tampon commercial about "toxic femininity". It shows women backstabbing their friends, gossiping about co-workers, and making false sexual harassment allegations. It also shows female high-school teachers having affairs with underage students, college girls getting drunk and being obnoxious at the club, teenagers getting pregnant and having abortions. At the the end of the commercial, you get some preachy, sermonizing message like "women should do better than that". Can you really even imagine a commercial like that being released??? It would the scandal of the century. The company releasing the commercial would immediately go out of business and the advertising people would be burned at the stake.
You're the first person who actually answers the question in my OP by giving examples of negative traits which are typically female. Thanks you, much appreciated!!
 

glass half full

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You're the first person who actually answers the question in my OP by giving examples of negative traits which are typically female. Thanks you, much appreciated!!
Originally I was going to give my example for your list- toxic fem herd mentality. That's where I was headed...
 

mrgoodstuff

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You may not be aware but you are subtly channeling the feminine imperative.

Women commit crimes on a more societal level than an individual level. But they are no less lawless or crimes against humanity.

Metoo movement?
Believe women movement?
Title 9?
Abortion?
Cuckoldry?
False accusations against men?
Socialism?
Special rights?
Alot of dope dealers give most of their $ to women.
So they do it for the puzzy.
Originally I was going to give my example for your list- toxic fem herd mentality. That's where I was headed...
All your priorities need group approval first.
 

Fruitbat

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You may not be aware but you are subtly channeling the feminine imperative.

Women commit crimes on a more societal level than an individual level. But they are no less lawless or crimes against humanity.

Metoo movement?
Believe women movement?
Title 9?
Abortion?
Cuckoldry?
False accusations against men?
Socialism?
Special rights?
You may not be aware but you are subtly channeling the feminine imperative.

Women commit crimes on a more societal level than an individual level. But they are no less lawless or crimes against humanity.

Metoo movement?
Believe women movement?
Title 9?
Abortion?
Cuckoldry?
False accusations against men?
Socialism?
Special rights?
Metoo movement? Affects mainly Hollywood stars and in some cases justified, many cases not. Not a big deal for most people.
Believe women movement? That’s stupid, but does that compare to gang violence and murder?
Title 9? No idea
Abortion? Only an issue if you’re religious. I couldn’t give a damn.
Cuckoldry? We have threads on having side plates while married like it’s just normal. Again, how does this compare to criminal activity? How prevalent is cuckoldry, honestly? Other than utter trash, it’s not a big thing. Perhaps in the states but not here.
False accusations against men? Bad, yet not as prevalent as rape. Or assault. Or battery. Or child molesting. Which are 80%+ committed by men.
Socialism? Created by men. Supported by a lot of men.
Special rights? Yeah, I don’t agree with any of that.

Dude, I hate this post modern relativism as much as anyone, but you can’t honestly say the above on a societal level equates to the wrongdoing of the worst kind of men.

The issue is, co opting all the decent men into this. It’s not my responsibility, it’s nothing to do with me. This is where Gillette etc gets it wrong. All this feminist crazy **** is exactly that - it’s cynical and power focused.

However, you can’t seriously argue that these modern feminist evils equate to the sum of male-dominated evils? Don’t let the feminists back you in the “male” corner and get you in some tribal alliegence with men due to a group identity. I am NOT in an identity with the various specimens of human excrement which pass for men in our prison system, any more than a decent woman is a bat **** feminist. If you get pulled in this way, they are getting to define you.
 
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