"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
This is what makes me feel incredibly hopeless in dating
- Thread starter bigdave17
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
but then he will continue doing it for another decade. if you dont call him out on it he will never wake up
You guys are making me regret to even attempt at asking for a favor.
Murk
Master Don Juan
I'm mainly unhappy because I just can't find a damn girl I wanna date...I slept with a couple women this year but neither one of them were attractive enough to date
Overall, my life is going beautifully - I'm making money hand over fist, I have a great family and great friends. I go out all the time... no real financial worries. I'm almost done with my student loans, buying a house soon, etc... I am just so damn lonely...”
I love the way this character grows over time. This post is from 2015 btw.
lamath
Master Don Juan
I asked him many time if he had asperger he always ignored the question.
Imo thats his problem he never was able to detect the sarcasm and subtle insult in the many reply he got.
I would not mind him coming back, but i think he should be limited on the amount of thread and post he makes.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
10 year later: "Ask a 34 year old guy making 8-11k a month whos not happy"
That and the fact he's always talking about his sisters.
Imagine having aspergers and then having 2 sisters who basically brainwashed you into believing the crap that you're awesome, handsome, plenty of friends, awesome genes etc etc etc....the same crap how a woman actually feels they are in real life.
The feminine imperative drilled into an aspergers mind.
BOOM!
BigDave is born.
I think our Dave here is the manifestation of the feminine imperative...how relentless it is.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Never took the sisters into consideration, the guy has no chance. Only thing that would be worst is 2 sisters and a single mom.
GAME OVER.
I'm not the therapy pushing kind of guy, but it probably needed.
Asperger is not all negative, they can often learn to fake social skills very well, also their lack of social awareness makes them handle rejection way better than others.
if dave is reading this thread now im sure hes crying
Murk
Master Don Juan
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He’s been trolling this forum for years, why are you taking the bait that Dave might be real when these guys quickly found him out?
Spaz you shouldn’t have deleted your posts, although “car salesman troll” on google brings up two memes of him easily and some threads. I hope it’s a perm ban and I hope the people who have vehemently defended him @Spaz @Amante Silvestre etc feel a bit silly.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Funny thing is he would not be crying. His weakness can also be a strengh
lamath
Master Don Juan
Man no one can troll that hard without some serious issue, like the GF one.@Spaz @lamath
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He’s been trolling this forum for years, why are you taking the bait that Dave might be real when these guys quickly found him out?
Spaz you shouldn’t have deleted your posts, although “car salesman troll” on google brings up two memes of him easily and some threads. I hope it’s a perm ban and I hope the people who have vehemently defended him @Spaz @Amante Silvestre etc feel a bit silly.
no one would waste that energy and time.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Agreed.
He ain't a troll.
But maybe we should limit his postings when he returns as some of our members are obviously easily fazed and get all emotional just thinking about him.
everytime someone gets attention theres chance he will get haters too
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
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