Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Not sure what you mean by "too many options beside approaching", i'm guessing you mean drinking or just talking to your friends instead of actually going up to the girl and going for what you actually want...is this right?skip781 said:another extreme tip for those with approach anxiety...........if u got too many options besides approaching, THEN GET RID OF THEM@
Ok back to my thoughts on the original post, I can see where you are coming from skip on the make your life boring, if thats what it takes to get the motivation to go for it, then thats what it takes. I could see that it would motivate you to sort it out. But on the other hand if you make your life boring then you become boring, notice how when people say "they are boring", they are not saying that what the person is saying is boring, they are implying that the actual person is boring. You could lie and make up some cool stories that you haven't done, but you could easily see through them.act macho like the Preditor, dont use humour just
look at her with a hard-on in your trousers
skip781 said:doggystyle - in my original post, i guess i need to reiterate - lets hope your life is somewhat interesting in the first place, and THEN if u have too much anxiety to want to approach and meet new women, you should eliminate things that take up your time, such as TV, internet, ect ect.....essentially, make urself too bored to stay home (takes alot of willpower), and then just GO OUT!
Regardless of the motivation, you shouldn't spend too much time doing these things. You should be improving yourself insteadskip2mylou781 said:1)masturbating
2)watching tv
3)surfing internet
4)chatting on the phone with friendes
5)just hanging out with friends (might be a stretch)
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Lust said:I don't think thats a good idea.
I don't think it's worth it.
Do you really want to speak to women, and tell them you do absolutely nothing fun in your life?
For what? To have the balls to approach them?
I think even if you did do this, you will become a more boring person in general.
Just try some confidence building materials or something, i personally don't think this is worth the effort.
And i sure as hell aren't going to try it.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.