Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Not sure what you mean by "too many options beside approaching", i'm guessing you mean drinking or just talking to your friends instead of actually going up to the girl and going for what you actually want...is this right?skip781 said:another extreme tip for those with approach anxiety...........if u got too many options besides approaching, THEN GET RID OF THEM@
Ok back to my thoughts on the original post, I can see where you are coming from skip on the make your life boring, if thats what it takes to get the motivation to go for it, then thats what it takes. I could see that it would motivate you to sort it out. But on the other hand if you make your life boring then you become boring, notice how when people say "they are boring", they are not saying that what the person is saying is boring, they are implying that the actual person is boring. You could lie and make up some cool stories that you haven't done, but you could easily see through them.act macho like the Preditor, dont use humour just
look at her with a hard-on in your trousers
skip781 said:doggystyle - in my original post, i guess i need to reiterate - lets hope your life is somewhat interesting in the first place, and THEN if u have too much anxiety to want to approach and meet new women, you should eliminate things that take up your time, such as TV, internet, ect ect.....essentially, make urself too bored to stay home (takes alot of willpower), and then just GO OUT!
Regardless of the motivation, you shouldn't spend too much time doing these things. You should be improving yourself insteadskip2mylou781 said:1)masturbating
2)watching tv
3)surfing internet
4)chatting on the phone with friendes
5)just hanging out with friends (might be a stretch)
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Lust said:I don't think thats a good idea.
I don't think it's worth it.
Do you really want to speak to women, and tell them you do absolutely nothing fun in your life?
For what? To have the balls to approach them?
I think even if you did do this, you will become a more boring person in general.
Just try some confidence building materials or something, i personally don't think this is worth the effort.
And i sure as hell aren't going to try it.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.