You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Not sure what you mean by "too many options beside approaching", i'm guessing you mean drinking or just talking to your friends instead of actually going up to the girl and going for what you actually want...is this right?skip781 said:another extreme tip for those with approach anxiety...........if u got too many options besides approaching, THEN GET RID OF THEM@
Ok back to my thoughts on the original post, I can see where you are coming from skip on the make your life boring, if thats what it takes to get the motivation to go for it, then thats what it takes. I could see that it would motivate you to sort it out. But on the other hand if you make your life boring then you become boring, notice how when people say "they are boring", they are not saying that what the person is saying is boring, they are implying that the actual person is boring. You could lie and make up some cool stories that you haven't done, but you could easily see through them.act macho like the Preditor, dont use humour just
look at her with a hard-on in your trousers
skip781 said:doggystyle - in my original post, i guess i need to reiterate - lets hope your life is somewhat interesting in the first place, and THEN if u have too much anxiety to want to approach and meet new women, you should eliminate things that take up your time, such as TV, internet, ect ect.....essentially, make urself too bored to stay home (takes alot of willpower), and then just GO OUT!
Regardless of the motivation, you shouldn't spend too much time doing these things. You should be improving yourself insteadskip2mylou781 said:1)masturbating
2)watching tv
3)surfing internet
4)chatting on the phone with friendes
5)just hanging out with friends (might be a stretch)
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Lust said:I don't think thats a good idea.
I don't think it's worth it.
Do you really want to speak to women, and tell them you do absolutely nothing fun in your life?
For what? To have the balls to approach them?
I think even if you did do this, you will become a more boring person in general.
Just try some confidence building materials or something, i personally don't think this is worth the effort.
And i sure as hell aren't going to try it.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.