Chosen1
Master Don Juan
oooo i got one how about sorry about all the crying or it was bigger this morning
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
The worst thing to say after sex
- Thread starter Blackdragon5095
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
"I've had worse"
Rebound Material
Master Don Juan
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!!Bonhomme said:
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
her- how was it?
this is where you give a blank look, kinda like a dear in the headlights. then you get dressed without talkin and leave
this is where you give a blank look, kinda like a dear in the headlights. then you get dressed without talkin and leave
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 374
- Reaction score
- 4
Wow......I was fantastic!
You dirty *****!
You might want to shave that next time
You are welcome!
I've already called you a taxi before we started, should be here any minute
I always seem to drop my standards when i'm drunk, you lucky lucky girl
Whoa!!! Keep the lights turned off til you've got your clothes back on
You dirty *****!
You might want to shave that next time
You are welcome!
I've already called you a taxi before we started, should be here any minute
I always seem to drop my standards when i'm drunk, you lucky lucky girl
Whoa!!! Keep the lights turned off til you've got your clothes back on
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Rocko
Senior Don Juan
"I gotta get the hell outta here"
I like the deer in the headlights one though haha
I like the deer in the headlights one though haha
Nzo
Don Juan
you: Oh sh*t
her: what?!
you: My penis piercing is missing
her: what?!
you: My penis piercing is missing
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
:crackup:
some very good ones ~~~~
some very good ones ~~~~
Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
I have to say, this is 1 of the meanest stuff a guy could say to a girl. 
Very funny too :crackup:
Maybe this will end up in the archive :cheer:
Ketp the posts coming
Very funny too :crackup:
Maybe this will end up in the archive :cheer:
Ketp the posts coming
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LMFAO!!!
Her: That was great
Me: Yeah until you started snorting like a pig
Her: That was so amazing
Me: Just wait until I upload the footage to the internet
Her: Your are so incredible!
Me: *checks off notepad* Number 63 This week
Her: How was it?
Me: You **** like hellen keller
Rebound Material
Master Don Juan
HER: Was it good for you?
ME: you happen to play world of warcraft? cuz you surely werent WOW.(nerds will get this one =P)
ME: you happen to play world of warcraft? cuz you surely werent WOW.(nerds will get this one =P)
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Things NOT to say after sex.
"Did I mention the video camera?"
"Aw hell baby, a little rug burn never hurt anybody."
"Do you accept visa?"
"And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend!"
"Gee I hope you still look good when I'm sober."
"SMILE! You're on candid camera."
"I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs!"
"Wow baby you're good enough to do this for a living!"
"Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?"
"That leak better be from the waterbed."
"Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?"
"Is that you? Or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?"
"It sure is nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate or blow up."
"Wow you're almost as good as my ex."
"I really hate women who actually think sex MEANS something."
"Have you seen FATAL ATTRACTION?"
"Sorry about the nametags, I'm bad with names."
"You mean you're NOT my blind date???"
"Did I mention the video camera?"
"Aw hell baby, a little rug burn never hurt anybody."
"Do you accept visa?"
"And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend!"
"Gee I hope you still look good when I'm sober."
"SMILE! You're on candid camera."
"I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs!"
"Wow baby you're good enough to do this for a living!"
"Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?"
"That leak better be from the waterbed."
"Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?"
"Is that you? Or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?"
"It sure is nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate or blow up."
"Wow you're almost as good as my ex."
"I really hate women who actually think sex MEANS something."
"Have you seen FATAL ATTRACTION?"
"Sorry about the nametags, I'm bad with names."
"You mean you're NOT my blind date???"
Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
"Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?"
LMAO !!!! :crackup:
LMAO !!!! :crackup:
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Nzo
Don Juan
I vote Archive material
DaPainkillah
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2006
- Messages
- 12
- Reaction score
- 2
Dannyrt34 said:
AWESOME!!!