"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The Reason You Joined This Site: What Was Her Name?
- Thread starter MVPlaya
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Boy! It was pretty damn lame! I was so emotionally attached to women; it got to the point where I was depressed whenever I saw a couple walking together.
Not caring anymore turned out to be a good thing ... I'm now more focused on finishing college and getting into medical school.
I go from wanting women, to not wanting women ... all without ever being with one. I do like to read the threads for fun though. Weird situation? I guess so.
Don Pablo
Senior Don Juan
She didn't play it for me. She had an assigned seat in front of me in band class and happed to play the flute. Sitting behind her everyday and seeing that hot ass made me want to take action, so in true nerd fashion I did what I usally do when I want to learn something -- Looked it up on the internet.
yep, i've been there. been lurking for quite some time, decided to pick myself up and get to practicing.
it's great you're not emotionally attached, but don't go from one extreme to another... i think you still have a fear of approaching women, which makes you say to yourself "no i'm not afraid, i just don't care about women" - trust me, i've had those thoughts myself, and am just getting over my FEAR (not my apathy). Read my field reports and see the slight but obvious progress i've made.
Master Homer
Don Juan
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Mike_The_Man
Don Juan
HaHa! My chick was also named Amanda! Slim, model figure with the most amazing Big Green Eyes I have ever seen in my life!
She has Histrionic Personality Disorder or so I find out after the emotional damamge is done!
Her name was Valerie. Awsome skilled girl same age as me. She loved music and was a piano teacher, camerawoman at the local baseball games, had the resume of a 30yo and well the list goes on. She was easily a 9.5ish. Thin, goregous eyes, and had it where it counted. She was amazing to be around and so much fun to just talk too. I just kept it friends being the nice guy that didnt want to scare her away and somehow i still managed to do that. After a nice summer night cruse in the vette she never called again. untill christmas when she did reply to 2 text messages. But allas I wish i could forget her or get her back and tell her how i felt about her.
The thing that kinda tipped me off was she dated this guy that was way worse as a nice guy then I was.. And or she saw every guy as a Brother... So i dont thing any nice guy had a chance with her. Oh well there are more fish in the sea but i do need to work on myself to make sure that doesnt happen again.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
No, I don't mean it that way
.I was on a different dating forum, and one of the guys who wanted to help a RAFC directed me to the newsletter, and it took over a year before I got around to getting on the forum.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
funkybuddha
Don Juan
I joined because it wasn't a girl that dumped me but a girl that I want to get. her name's rose, and i work with her.
So she goes to school there for a year, during the whole time im buggin out, and im not even with her! SHe comes back and we go to a club together. We dance, blah blah blah.. and the end of the night, i took her to a "friends" house. Thats major simpin there!
Fast forward a semester, she comes back this past december because she doesnt enjoy living there anymore. We hang out one time in December and i take her to eat sushi! OUCH. After this, i realized this is bullsh!t and im not gonna waste my time nor my money. She messages me like once a week just to "keep in touch" and tells me shes gonna go with me to NYC when i go. Man fu(k that! I finally told her off and said this is a waste of my time and to leave me alone.
New phase, yesterday there was this Domincan girl that ive been eyeballin for almost a year. I finally grew some nads and went up and talked to her. Wow that felt great! But i somehow didnt ask her for her number, which sucks... oh well, you live and u learn.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
.
izza
Master Don Juan
She was my first gf but we dated for a good 10 months. I seem to recall doing a lot of this DJ stuff pretty naturally at the beginning (I was dating two other women when I met her), but once I started dating her I became majorly chumped out. We were almost attached to the hip, we spent so much time together. I really loved that girl, and she really loved me, but we got tired of each other (and I was chumped out) so she left me for some other guy. Haha, it hurt at the time, but what a gift it has been: the gift of metamorphosis. The funny part is that her dumping me turned me into someone she would never leave - if it weren't too late. But now I'm building the life of my dreams - life has never been better. Cute women want me that I would have settled for before, but I can do better, and it feels great.
What a blessing this site has been, and my life could still be so much better than it is now. It's guys that find some girl that stand still, and settle for what they have. Disgusting, isn't it?
Izza
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
izza
Master Don Juan
I
Just sounded like the same type of girl with the same situation that I had. She left me for another guy with out telling me until she was sure they were exclusive, then gave me the boot (Monkey on a tree branch - won't let go of one branch until she firmly holds onto another)
Plus she was also a smart girl who had so many problems and drama in her life she needed and still needs to patch it together because her erratic behaviour 'damages' herself and others.
Its a bit of a conerning phenomenom these days that many women in their early to mid 20's fit that bill.
Let me guess - that chick has Mediterrian background? if thats the case its a higher probablity of being a drama queen then others.
and even now when i do see her, i cant help but feel like all i am in her eyes is that AFC from so long ago. Now i cant get enough time with her to show her the new me. But hey i learned a great concept. NEXT.MrRogersRedux
New Member
Two years ago, I never would have thought any of this possible...
Freshman year of high school, my friend, who I was with constantly, tells me he really likes this girl in our class. I thought, man, he has HUMAN FEELINGS? and needed to see what put him in that state. She was petty high up there in the HB scale, a 9-9.5 I'd say, no BS.
So I decided I was going to play a little game, and watch what he did. I had just discovered this site by then, and wanted to see if he did the wrong moves or good ones. Had a pretty good time too, even though I felt really sorry for him.
Believe me, he didn't know what the f*ck he was doin. I sat next to him, and he sat a few feet away from her. One time, I even saw him stand up in the middle of class, walk over to her desk, and pick up a pencil that she had dropped!
He kept trying for a while and, I couldn't believe it, she seemed to start spending some time with him! I thought, LOL, looks like miracles do happen.....
Until one day, I finally woke up and saw that she was constantly sending all the signals to someone else slightly to the right of him....namely, ME.
Just imagine where it's gone from there.
Its a little over a full year since this has happened, and nothing really's happened, you know, except for the tension rising a whole f*ckin lot. I had really bad oneitis at one point, but its gotten better now. I still prob have a chance, dunno what Im gonna do from here.
Its far from a pretty situation, though, the whole fear and depression sh*t just keeps on rolling one bad way or the other once in a while, we only have one class together, and Mr. AFC still rears his butt-ugly head once in a while.
Guys, I know I don't have it nearly as bad as most of you, but be thankful that your ordeal is over. Mine's still in progress , ughh.........
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.