face
Don Juan
her name was andréa
and now she wants me
enough said
ps. this is my first post here in over a year (i think)
and now she wants me
enough said
ps. this is my first post here in over a year (i think)
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The Reason You Joined This Site: What Was Her Name?
- Thread starter MVPlaya
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
thesynergist
Don Juan
he he...met a girl at a party, had the balls to ask her out, dated her for awhile, trying to be as nice and caring as i could, doing everything she asked, always trying not to insult her of disagree with her...man! Looking back i can't believe myself 
She was always talking about her ex, some big/angry/drunken dude that didn't give a **** about anything and left her for somebody else...i always tried to be supportive, help her sort out her "feelings" and "move on"...
She dumped me...(what are the odds?)...and ended up back with him. I couldn't understand why she would have left me for some jerk who didn't do everything for her and wouldn't ever make her the focal point of his life...how could she have left me? I took it Really hard, thought i was through, thought i'd never find anyone like her again. I was on some really stupid "buy her flowers and write a poem" forum, forget the name, for a few weeks, looking for answers, getting nowhere. I kept seeing these posts by "DJ's" telling us we were all losers, and that nice guys finished last, and that if we Really wanted some answers we'd Never find them on that forum.
Everything they were posting was completely contrary to all I knew about finding and keeping girls, but i IM'd someone from here for the URL and eventually got it. First thing i read was Pook's "Be a Man"...i'm tellin' ye, it changed my life, as did many other posts and articles i read here. My eyes were opened. I had been the epitomy of the "nice guy" since i'd begun dating.
Quit coming here a couple years ago, decided i knew enough to keep me busy...i was busy all right, but made some horrible dating choices that pretty much shattered my confidence. Fell back into my old habits of supplication and failure...then woke up a couple days ago and thought..."sosuave.com, how could i have forgotten"...
It's good to be back....
She was always talking about her ex, some big/angry/drunken dude that didn't give a **** about anything and left her for somebody else...i always tried to be supportive, help her sort out her "feelings" and "move on"...
She dumped me...(what are the odds?)...and ended up back with him. I couldn't understand why she would have left me for some jerk who didn't do everything for her and wouldn't ever make her the focal point of his life...how could she have left me? I took it Really hard, thought i was through, thought i'd never find anyone like her again. I was on some really stupid "buy her flowers and write a poem" forum, forget the name, for a few weeks, looking for answers, getting nowhere. I kept seeing these posts by "DJ's" telling us we were all losers, and that nice guys finished last, and that if we Really wanted some answers we'd Never find them on that forum.
Everything they were posting was completely contrary to all I knew about finding and keeping girls, but i IM'd someone from here for the URL and eventually got it. First thing i read was Pook's "Be a Man"...i'm tellin' ye, it changed my life, as did many other posts and articles i read here. My eyes were opened. I had been the epitomy of the "nice guy" since i'd begun dating.
Quit coming here a couple years ago, decided i knew enough to keep me busy...i was busy all right, but made some horrible dating choices that pretty much shattered my confidence. Fell back into my old habits of supplication and failure...then woke up a couple days ago and thought..."sosuave.com, how could i have forgotten"...
It's good to be back....
Leon Phelps
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2003
- Messages
- 86
- Reaction score
- 0
Lets see, there were a bunch for me.
Dont remember any of the names, 'cept for this girl i met online and thats as far as it got. i thought we had a definite relationship LOL. now THATS AFC.
Dont remember any of the names, 'cept for this girl i met online and thats as far as it got. i thought we had a definite relationship LOL. now THATS AFC.
il_duce
Master Don Juan
This really cute girl at school that I was obsessed with, but barely even talked to, considering how much of a chance I had. She was very interested in me now that I look back on it all, but at the time I was oblivious to the fact. She must have taken my shyness as rejection, and in turn she kind of rejected me. I blew it. That's what got me to finally come here.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Her name's Anna, Russian, this one played the violin. My oneitis for the first two years of college (music school). After her LJBFnding me on multiple occasions, I found this site, and started doing changes that led me to transfer school. Got into Cornell, and now I'm on my way to become a doctor.
Ser_i
Don Juan
that's scary man
Abbott
Master Don Juan
No one caused me to come here. It was by chance completely.
Honestly, I found this site probably around the middle of my sophomore year of high school. I was a complete loser. No friends. Never went out anywhere. I just sat at home on the computer all of the time. The weekend wasn't any different than during the week except I didn't have school to attend. I saw this site, but it somehow got lost in the back of my mind and I didn't try to do anything or read the site.
Fast forward about a year. It's late in the first semester of Junior year, and I'm still a complete loser who never goes out anywhere. I think of this site, so after a little bit of searching I find it and start reading it. I originally made some pretty stupid posts when I first signed up here.
So...I basically remained a loser for my whole time at high school. Senior year was a little better, because I was going to college parties with friends who were going to the local university (where I go now). Senior year was also the only time I tried to hook up with this girl who to me seemed really hot. I failed with her, but I didn't become heart-broken or anything. And I handled it MUCH better than most men would have.
I'm still nowhere near good. But I'm getting better.
And that, my friends, is the end of my story of how I found this site.
Ben
Honestly, I found this site probably around the middle of my sophomore year of high school. I was a complete loser. No friends. Never went out anywhere. I just sat at home on the computer all of the time. The weekend wasn't any different than during the week except I didn't have school to attend. I saw this site, but it somehow got lost in the back of my mind and I didn't try to do anything or read the site.
Fast forward about a year. It's late in the first semester of Junior year, and I'm still a complete loser who never goes out anywhere. I think of this site, so after a little bit of searching I find it and start reading it. I originally made some pretty stupid posts when I first signed up here.
So...I basically remained a loser for my whole time at high school. Senior year was a little better, because I was going to college parties with friends who were going to the local university (where I go now). Senior year was also the only time I tried to hook up with this girl who to me seemed really hot. I failed with her, but I didn't become heart-broken or anything. And I handled it MUCH better than most men would have.
I'm still nowhere near good. But I'm getting better.
And that, my friends, is the end of my story of how I found this site.
Ben
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
FitnessGuy
Don Juan
I just joined this site but I have an awesome girlfriend already. I got the link from another forum and saw the number of users so figured it might be good reading. I don't read all that "DJ" stuff though lol. I have no problems getting girls so I don't want to be brainwashed with all that "how to be a DJ" stuff hehe. Maybe when my girlfriend and I breakup I will be crying for help and reading the DJ bible, only time will tell.
.LOLOriginally posted by FitnessGuy
I just joined this site but I have an awesome girlfriend already. I got the link from another forum and saw the number of users so figured it might be good reading. I don't read all that "DJ" stuff though lol. I have no problems getting girls so I don't want to be brainwashed with all that "how to be a DJ" stuff hehe. Maybe when my girlfriend and I breakup I will be crying for help and reading the DJ bible, only time will tell
Ok you sounds like me when i was in a serious relationship but if i was you and i could go back in time i would have learned the dj way alot earlier.
I am really struggling cause of this now and wish i had done it when i was younger
Paid Laid & Made
Senior Don Juan
Mine worked at Dairy Queen ... her name was Ashley. She was hot a solid 8. Chick was okay for the first month, I asked her out on our second date (yeah, my bad) ... after the first month she gave me like a list on the phone of **** that wont be done. Makeout, holding hands, ass grabbing, hj, bj ... etc. I was like Biatch say what? I kept her for another month and then she gave the classic LJBF line on our 2 month anniversary saying that we did not "CLICK". LOL, yeah, I could be she is my turning point but that aint true, she is still in the middle of my sh1t. I learned so much plus she makes good social proof.
Paid Laid & Made
Senior Don Juan
Yeah but this time it actually pertained to the topic. She was the reason I joined.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
CamaroMike
Don Juan
Yeah... I can't even remember who I liked to motivate me to join this site. And I don't care, because im a pimp.
Slimijs
Senior Don Juan
Now this is a funny story. Read on and you will probably have a couple of luoghts
Once when I was Ice Skating I talked with one of my friends, that happened a year ago. I told him that I kinda like this one chick, and maybe will try to get toghter sometime. So this year he simply is telling evertbody that I like that girl, which I don't. But the girls IL rose and I had a pretty good chance with her, but I blew it. Ignored all the rumors.
So then came the day that changed my life. Once after school I went home, and I hadn't my house keys with me. So I had to wait for my parents to come home. I waited three hours in front of my apartment and did a lot of thinking. I remembered a dating manual somewhere, which turned out to be the "How to Lay Girls Guide".
Then after a little bit of searching the internet, I found FastSeduction. Then I started to change. I read the whole guide over there. Fantastic!
Then someone posted a link to SoSuave in the ASF forums, and I followed it to here. And that's pretty much to whole story.
Once when I was Ice Skating I talked with one of my friends, that happened a year ago. I told him that I kinda like this one chick, and maybe will try to get toghter sometime. So this year he simply is telling evertbody that I like that girl, which I don't. But the girls IL rose and I had a pretty good chance with her, but I blew it. Ignored all the rumors.
So then came the day that changed my life. Once after school I went home, and I hadn't my house keys with me. So I had to wait for my parents to come home. I waited three hours in front of my apartment and did a lot of thinking. I remembered a dating manual somewhere, which turned out to be the "How to Lay Girls Guide".
Then after a little bit of searching the internet, I found FastSeduction. Then I started to change. I read the whole guide over there. Fantastic!
Then someone posted a link to SoSuave in the ASF forums, and I followed it to here. And that's pretty much to whole story.
Fitness Guy
Hi Man
What value do you get from this site if u don't read the posts and while i dont want to ultra anyalise you I do have one question - do you think that lack of confidence is the root to ppls problems getting girls?
Cheers
David
Hi Man
What value do you get from this site if u don't read the posts and while i dont want to ultra anyalise you
I do have one question - do you think that lack of confidence is the root to ppls problems getting girls? Cheers
David
the_gunslinger
Don Juan
god, your asking me why i joined this site:
2 names, sarah and beverly:
The story of the_gunslinger and beverly
It would have been the summer of 00 when this happened, so its going back a bit. i met this girl through a mutual "friend", and she was a bit of a munter, but you know what its like when your 16, you'll nail anything that moves.
so she asked me out, i said i'd think about it (she looked like a ginger horse, with huge buck teeth), she bombarded me with phone calls and eventually i caved in. The first date was ok, we got on ok ish, apart from her asking me once if i was christian, i said i was a catholic, she said "never mind"
second date came and went and i met her in town a week later. we were in woolworths when her watch alarm went off. she sat down and, i swear to god, started reading the bible out loud. I said "what the fvck are you doing?" she started ranting about god and stuff.
i should have ended it there, but like the idiot i was i went back twice more. the first time, she stared on about god having a place for everyone and how god was this, that. then i met her "twin", Lindsey.
imagine the scene, theres this 5'5 ginger horse with buck teeth telling me that this 5'8 girl with black hair, normal teeth and whos 2 years older is her twin? she must have been smoking crack.
and so must i because i went back for another dose of the madness. she sort of launched herself at me in a phonebox, opening her top and trying to kiss me, it was like being sexually molested by a doberman on LSD.
what did i do, i ran. 3 miles in 15 minutes, straight from one end of town to the other. I'd have beaten limford christie, i was that fast.
i swear to god (no pun intended) that every word of that is true
The story of the_gunslinger and sarah
this was onitis on crack. I got this massive crush on a girl, thought i was in love with her.
Its a place everyone on this boards been at one time or another. This was what triggered me to find info on the net.
I came across so much crap advice in chatrooms and messageboards like badgirlswirl that i got even worse. I ended up writing her this love letter that made me get the pi$$ taken out of me for months.
eventually, i found it and turned things around. I have lapsed back into AFCness a few times, but im getting there.
2 names, sarah and beverly:
The story of the_gunslinger and beverly
It would have been the summer of 00 when this happened, so its going back a bit. i met this girl through a mutual "friend", and she was a bit of a munter, but you know what its like when your 16, you'll nail anything that moves.
so she asked me out, i said i'd think about it (she looked like a ginger horse, with huge buck teeth), she bombarded me with phone calls and eventually i caved in. The first date was ok, we got on ok ish, apart from her asking me once if i was christian, i said i was a catholic, she said "never mind"
second date came and went and i met her in town a week later. we were in woolworths when her watch alarm went off. she sat down and, i swear to god, started reading the bible out loud. I said "what the fvck are you doing?" she started ranting about god and stuff.
i should have ended it there, but like the idiot i was i went back twice more. the first time, she stared on about god having a place for everyone and how god was this, that. then i met her "twin", Lindsey.
imagine the scene, theres this 5'5 ginger horse with buck teeth telling me that this 5'8 girl with black hair, normal teeth and whos 2 years older is her twin? she must have been smoking crack.
and so must i because i went back for another dose of the madness. she sort of launched herself at me in a phonebox, opening her top and trying to kiss me, it was like being sexually molested by a doberman on LSD.
what did i do, i ran. 3 miles in 15 minutes, straight from one end of town to the other. I'd have beaten limford christie, i was that fast.
i swear to god (no pun intended) that every word of that is true
The story of the_gunslinger and sarah
this was onitis on crack. I got this massive crush on a girl, thought i was in love with her.
Its a place everyone on this boards been at one time or another. This was what triggered me to find info on the net.
I came across so much crap advice in chatrooms and messageboards like badgirlswirl that i got even worse. I ended up writing her this love letter that made me get the pi$$ taken out of me for months.
eventually, i found it and turned things around. I have lapsed back into AFCness a few times, but im getting there.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.