I respect that you disagree but i stand by my decision that you dont put up with test. You do not put up with tests period.
Here is why. To quote you in your previous message
"you teach others how they treat you. "
This was your quote.
Putting up with sheit tests is teaching her to push you, disrespect you and to push your boundaries. It will start subtle but wont stay that way.
Putting up your boundaries and refusing to put up with BS and having the stones to put her at the curb is the definition of being a real man and all women want the real man
You may think Passing tests may be ok........for now.... but over time she will push and push and push and passing them or putting up with then will drive her quality down down down.
A girl who knows if she pulls sheit, is history will think long and hard before she plays games.
Id rather my lady know she wont be my lady if she **** tests me, than pass her games to see if my seed will give her a quality offspring.
Here's how i see it. From reading what you wrote i get the feeling you think it's a conscious decision from women to throw out test at us. These tests are not something she does on purpose or the sign of a low quality woman, it's something in her hindbrain making sure she doesn't end up with a loser and secures the strongest genes for her offspring. It's just an automatic response to her environment. I do agree with you that we don't put up with them, we just handle them or they become the doom of the relationship sooner rather than later.
If you let her relax into her feminine nature, which she will only do if you're consistently conveying the strong masculine traits of being the dominant leader who has his sh1t together which she has to feel, she wont have any reason to test you in theory since she just knows you're the real deal. There's no need to fist the rock to see if it's a rock when you already know it's a rock.
Tests, with a woman of "good stock" only occur when you lose frame, she will not have any reason to test you otherwise.
This is how i see it. When people decide for a LTR the chemicals play a huge role as long as the infatuation stage takes place. She loves her perceived image of you in her head and all the things you can do for her along with rationalizations on how great you are, even if you're not you can't do any wrong in this phase. The man enjoys the good sex, companionship and all that good stuff and think he has found his idealized version of a woman.
After this phase it's back to reality, Poon King called this "the ultimate sh1t test" where he said it's all an act from the woman to lure you and your resources in until she reveals her real self after 6 months-1year and drop the "act". I'd say now is the time the lovey dovey chemicals wear off and they get to see eachother for real for the first time. Infatuation is probably just nature's way of making sure you stay together to procreate.
I don't think it's a deliberate act from women, it's more a consequence of men's way of loving idealistically becoming comfortable and relaxing thinking she will love him just the way he is, thus becoming softer and agreeing to more along with his increased feelings, and women's opportunistic way of loving demanding constant improvement. The man is supposed to perform so she can get as much as she can to benefit her offspring the most. Probably a combination of biology providing the best for potential offsprings and societies view that women can have everything, since they listen very much to what the 'herd' has to say. Anyway i believe it's nature way of making sure we never become stagnant and on top of our game. This is where most LTR fall apart since women seem to think it's all supposed to be a happy ride all the way to death do us part.
Psychiatrists have a similar view on this. They say that we attract partners that remind us of the BAD traits from our caretakers growing up. It's our brains way of putting itself in a situation where it can be healed from the trauma it experienced as a child, as everyone experiences trauma to some degree. So they say we fall in love and then after a while we realise that our partners can't read our minds and don't just "fix us" as we thought, so we become discontent and start to argue. I guess that's about the same time the sh1t tests are arriving.
Then we have the flat out bad behavior, consistent disrespect from women who doesn't know better, these are the woman of "bad stock". This is a different story and then we're leaving the area of sh1t tests where boundaries are crossed time and time again and they need to go.
I've heard from men in long succesful marriages on this forum who confirmed the woman is still testing him many many years down the line but he just handles them without any effort anymore. They can be subtle and don't need to be obvious crossing of your boundaries but they still exist.
I think Atom Smasher with all his experience and wisdom used to say, you don't pass them - you handle them.
I'm just arguing they are natural and the increased intensity is a consequence of the man's weaker and weaker frame or slipping up.
If you have frame and keep her in check and she sees you as her superhero they will be at a minimum and very subtle and not escalate from that to flat out disrespectful behavior.
That's not to say women will never flat out disrespect you, i believe they all do at some point in a LTR. Just because respect means different things for men and women and they've never been taught how to fully behave from a strong father. The key is to put them in their place immediately or you will have a storm coming for you. I embrace them as a good thing.
