The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

NSX-R

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Day 2 of the challenge and 4 days of no contact with her .

Haven’t talked yet with my guy about what they discussed and made her forgive me but also what caused this sudden coldness from her .

Noticed she doesn’t see my instagram stories since the day she forgave me and if she does it would be after many hours. Normally she would see them as soon as i was uploading them and that was even faster during the 2 weeks of nc before she forgive me . She’s almost the whole day online .
Don’t know if it’s one of her tricks for making me crazy . It works though

I believe there is some other guy in the picture. Like 90% sure . The reason is that when i called her again she told me i was too late to apologize and many things would be different.I find it funny but also it pisses me off because she couldn’t have a better quality guy than I am concerning looks , status and wealth , literally .

She knows I’m an attractive blue-greenish eyed guy and many women approach me . I have even stopped approaching women because they do approach me themselves and she knows that . That was also one of her insecurities while being around me . She still has a picture with us together in her instagram account.

I remember some instances from her and it gives me the idea that she used me to make some other guys jealous and how much of a “high quality “ chick she is to be around with me . I mean i want to text her of how much of a gold digger she is and that she used my feelings for her own purpose.

Anyway having some feelings for her never cause me any troubles fcking with some other women except when i used to fck them it felt shallow and didn’t enjoy it .

I don’t believe she’s ever going to text me back and if she does (I doubt) I’m either telling her why she text me again or be sarcastic and say that she wants to be with me again .

Still it feels good posting all these things here .
 

NSX-R

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Day 3 of the challenge and 5 days of no contact.
Apparently some person close to her died. I’m on the verge of sending her something because she’s very emotional with people close to her and i kinda feel bad for her . I don’t know . I’d like some advice for that .
 
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Day 3 of the challenge and 5 days of no contact.
Apparently some person close to her died. I’m on the verge of sending her something because she’s very emotional with people close to her and i kinda feel bad for her . I don’t know . I’d like some advice for that .

NSX-R STICK to no contact, this is your heart trying to fight with your head. You will come up with all types of challenges regarding your ex during this recovery time, you cant expect to crumble everytime something crops up! This is her drama to deal with now not yours, she will be expecting you to contact her but dont do it to yourself keep up the positive steps in getting over this girl!
 
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Day10... i think

Things have been getting alot easier lately, yes i do find myself thinking about her at times but far less than before, the hardest is as soon as i wake up in the morning there is this sense of loss and dread, as if she is missing, as soon as i am awake it does go away.

I really did have a reality check after this break up which i truly have her to thanks for this, Since going no contact i have threw myself in the gym pretty much every day eaten nothing but healthy foods, I weighed myself for the first time last night since this new journey began and i have lost 10LBS in 1 week!!!

I feel so much better in myself have started taking cold showers, Cutting off watching porn, started taking CBD OIL and generally taking good care of myself. I have been out for 1 night and ended up back at a chicks house, someone who i hadnt seen in ages, she couldnt believe how feel i looked and was over me all night, this gave me such a boost.

It does still suck a bit that my ex was able to get into a relationship so quickly after breaking up with me but there is a part of me that feels its me whos in the better position, at least i am adressing all these issues now so when im fully healed my next relationship will have no baggage, All she has done is jump from one to another with no real self examination on how much of a bish she is!

keep it up chaps, some days will be good others bad but stay active and become a healthier version of you. A few months ago i was eating non stop junk food and sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself and unhappy in the relationship i had, EVERYTHING happens for a reason - be thankful for that.
 

NSX-R

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Broke no contact 5 days ago . She answered fast and told me she was working and couldn’t talk . After couple of hours she send me a selfie of herself . Saw the message and I didn’t respond till today . I send her a selfie and asked where she was at . Saw the message as soon as i send it and she hasn’t replied since .

I guess she’s playing the same game . Anyway i got bored of it and if she eventually answer I’m gonna tell her a couple of words and just delete her from all of social media . Anyway i live somewhere else so it’s gonna be it . Honna update it if something new comes up .
 

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ive just had 3 missed calls from her, i havent answered any of them, Writing in here just to vent. Its been two weeks since we last spoke and she is in a relationship with someone new! After about 3 weeks of us breaking up!!! why is she calling me. grrrr
 

NSX-R

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Failed again the challenge. Wrote to her again a long text by humiliating her and how much of a low value sl#t she is . She answered fast , she didn’t respond to any of what i told her but she only blamed my best friend of telling me things about her which she says are not true. Messed with her a bit calling her names she didn’t like and i just bloked her everywhere on social media. Felt free after that time .
I believe this was the end and feel glad i ended this relation with her and that I wont be seeing her ever again .
 

SoSuave666

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Failed again the challenge. Wrote to her again a long text by humiliating her and how much of a low value sl#t she is . She answered fast , she didn’t respond to any of what i told her but she only blamed my best friend of telling me things about her which she says are not true. Messed with her a bit calling her names she didn’t like and i just bloked her everywhere on social media. Felt free after that time .
I believe this was the end and feel glad i ended this relation with her and that I wont be seeing her ever again .
You continue to break no contact. Every time you have a small success of 5 days NC you break it. Let me give you a little advice:

You are a ***** in her eyes. You blocked her on social media? ***** move. You are going NC? ***** move. You are thinking about her all the time? ***** move. You write her a long text? ***** move. You are exuding terrible behavior, and not only is she and all her friends aware you are a *****, but most likely everyone around you can sense it too.

Now on to the good news: NC is for no one but yourself. You are the master of your own feelings. Feelings CAN BE CHANGED and they can be changed very quickly...if...just like anything else...you dedicate yourself to it. Every day you wake up, your first thought should be "I'm the ****ing man. Here are all my good qualities." Then you list them out. Set goals for yourself to accomplish that day and take great pride in checking them off the list and accomplishing things completely unrelated to anyone but you.

You are not in a place where you can approach women. If you go out on the weekends a bit of liquid courage may make things easier, but you're absolutely in no state of mind to have any real success with a woman. So you focus on yourself instead (which you should always do anyway). You blocked her on social media? Fine, stick to it. Better yet, get your ass off social media for a bit. Unplug yourself from all the social masturbators hunting for internet karma.

Put yourself first. It's the only way to become better. I ****ing miss the days of my first breakup that brought me to this site. I was so motivated for self improvement that I dropped weight, got a better job, and grinded on my purpose. You have no idea the power you have right now after a break up to make yourself a better man. It's time to take the power back in your life.
 

Ené

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Day 1

I did not get dumped, but I will not accept disrespectful behavior anymore. So I told her "I will not make you to choose" and hung up.
She has a few important things in her possession that I need to get back.
It has been more than 36 hrs without hearing from her. It hurts a lot, knowing that the things we used to do together (almost everything) for the past 2 years, will not be there anymore.
She is important in my life, but my dignity and self-respect is more important.

I am going on vacation back to my country by myself for the Hollidays but planned to return the 31st to spend New year's with her. I guess I will be by myself.

How do I go about getting my items back (there are personal items, not gifts to her).

Thank you.


-Ené-
 

NSX-R

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You continue to break no contact. Every time you have a small success of 5 days NC you break it. Let me give you a little advice:

You are a ***** in her eyes. You blocked her on social media? ***** move. You are going NC? ***** move. You are thinking about her all the time? ***** move. You write her a long text? ***** move. You are exuding terrible behavior, and not only is she and all her friends aware you are a *****, but most likely everyone around you can sense it too.

Now on to the good news: NC is for no one but yourself. You are the master of your own feelings. Feelings CAN BE CHANGED and they can be changed very quickly...if...just like anything else...you dedicate yourself to it. Every day you wake up, your first thought should be "I'm the ****ing man. Here are all my good qualities." Then you list them out. Set goals for yourself to accomplish that day and take great pride in checking them off the list and accomplishing things completely unrelated to anyone but you.

You are not in a place where you can approach women. If you go out on the weekends a bit of liquid courage may make things easier, but you're absolutely in no state of mind to have any real success with a woman. So you focus on yourself instead (which you should always do anyway). You blocked her on social media? Fine, stick to it. Better yet, get your ass off social media for a bit. Unplug yourself from all the social masturbators hunting for internet karma.

Put yourself first. It's the only way to become better. I ****ing miss the days of my first breakup that brought me to this site. I was so motivated for self improvement that I dropped weight, got a better job, and grinded on my purpose. You have no idea the power you have right now after a break up to make yourself a better man. It's time to take the power back in your life.
Idc what she believes me to be . I live in a different country anyway . Her friends , social circle do not affect me . I was mostly visiting my home country for business issues once per month. Last month was the last time i went and i wont be back for a long time . I wanted to be more serious with her . I guess this couldn’t work because the woman was a biatch with a lot of complex issues . The longest nc i went was 15 days . No response from her during that time and propably hooked up with a couple of guys in that time . Anyway , you might be right for the first part .

Other than that , i do fck a lot of females . Even when i was back in my home country, my ex went to her grandparents for 3 days and i fcked 2 different women in this time gap . I’m attractive enough and rich enough to attract any female out there . I work my a$$ off though from morning till night 7 days a week and manage 1 hour of gym everyday to enjoy all these qualities. I’m not into social media as every average folk in here . I’m done with this shyt long time ago.

That’s what i did here . I put myself first . I didn’t like her games and i wanted some answers and a solution. Since she couldn’t provide one , i did it as a man .I blocked her because I don’t want fb and insta to pop up stories and make me burn again from the inside . I had a weak spot for that one i admit , the first one was with the woman that brought me here but that time it was just in my head and moved on very easily . Right now it stung hard but i know how to use it as a fuel for something better . As i said in my earlier posts , there must be some other guy in the picture.

Some wise guy here said , if you swallow the red pill , you enter the rabbit hole and you never come back . My focus was to be a high quality guy and fck as many females i could . Perhaps my old afc guy in there wanted something stable but it’s as you said , I’m not ready yet for something like this and I don’t believe with my current lifestyle to ever be ready for something like this . I always had the power and still have the power , but that woman was too little for me . I’m the winner here .
 
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so i had a phone call from her today, she was balling her eyes out crying, i asked her what she wanted and she asked to speak to me, I should of just put the phone down but its difficult when the girl you spent 2 solid years with is in tears.

She said she was finding everything really difficult that i was her best friend and she loved me so much, She didnt know why she was phoning me but said she was really emotional at the moment and didnt know why. She then went on to tell me that she had fallen out with her mom and sister over christmas - something that always happens..Big family issues there which i know all about..Finally the penny dropped...So this is why youre ringing me i asked - she laughed and said i was the only person to make her laugh when she was upset.

I told her that it wasnt my problem any more and that she had a new boyfriend to confide in, Bareing in mind 2 days earlier she posted a merry christmas picture on facebook with her and the new man, now shes contacting me telling me all this about how she feels...bla bla bla!

I gave her some quick words of advice, told her to leave her place and go to her new boyfriends - she told me she didnt want to see him and that she was going to see mates. The conversation ended.

Then i get another call about an hour later from her apologizing for calling and that she didnt mean any disrespect by it - she didnt want me to think that she was using me. I kinda showed indifference and told her not to worry and have a good rest of her xmas but it was best that we both not chat like this especially when she is in a new relationship - she agreed and said she didnt want to disrespect him either - told her that was find and then that was it.
 
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346 days from break up. 306 days from breaking no contact once.

I really wanted to write to her today but as I tried to draft anything that would not let me automatically loose dignity and simultaneously reach her, I found out that I just couldn't allow myself to do it and resisted the urge eventually.

What if she would read the email with her new boyfriend (I was sure she found replacement for me, just didn't inform me about his name)? Sucking up to her - that's how she would read any message from me. Damn sneaky demons of loneliness, begone.

It's almost a year without her in a new city and things are generally fine. I'm usually overworked and feel lonely from time to time, but I'm making new friends and ppl like me. I also noticed that women find me more attractive than before - probably because I don't give a phuck about chasing them too hard anymore and I become somewhat skilful at treating them as equals. White knight armour still there but only in work and only when I think it will benefit me someway.
 

NSX-R

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Around 12 days of ending everything with her . Banged an older plate of mine and met a new female which is very attractive . I feel so much better and finally returning into my senses. So glad i ended things with her .
I believe i did it with the best way . I have no need for her but many distractions like photos and social media could make it harder for me . Glad nothing like this is there to distract me anymore .

I strongly believe she didn’t mind breaking any connection with me. I was soo much better and way beyond her league. She knew that and I’m sure about it . Anyway normally she should had chased me . Fell too much for a single woman . Not ever again .

Gonna post again if anything changes.
 
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Today marks 1 month, ruined no contact after the work Christmas party where she came back with me after deciding to flirt with everyone in front of my face. So theoretically it’s 20 days.

Heavily invested into myself, reading the book of Pook was an eye opener for me, especially changing my mindset towards women and working on myself.

Since I decided to end it, it was a huge jump for me to overcome as I had to rearrange my social lifestyle as I was devoted for the past 9 months. One big thing that helped me was I made a list of all of the negative things that happened in the relationship, her negative traits and I read that when I start to think about her.

Since leaving her, I’ve reconnected with many friends, I’m far more social, confidence is growing daily, I’ve shedded 14lbs, got a new wardrobe. Onwards and upwards.
 

fidel

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Sorry, if this is the wrong thread, but how does no-contact work in long distance relationships? So my new girlfriend of six months started acting distant when it comes to messaging and all like a week ago, fairly big change in behavior from her. She moved to a different city for a work project 3 months ago which will last around 6 months, or that's what she says.

Given she went cold a week ago with no messages whatsoever, I decided to wait and not do anything about it. My insecurity made me log into the dating website through which we met three days ago and surprise, surprise, she was online this week. So I just read this thread and went no contact too.

So, now three days after I log into the dating website, I suddenly get the first messages from her in a week. Not sure if it's because she noticed I was online too or whatever, but I don't care. Like the OP said, she's so far sent two messages 30 minutes apart. So, that anxiety thing must be kicking in, which is so funny. I still haven't responded to her messages from 3 hours ago, so when's the best time to reply? Let her go through an entire night without a response? I hate playing these drama games, but it's necessary once in a while.

Cheers!
 
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LARaiders85

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Sorry, if this is the wrong thread, but how does no-contact work in long distance relationships? So my new girlfriend of six months started acting distant when it comes to messaging and all like a week ago, fairly big change in behavior from her. She moved to a different city for a work project 3 months ago which will last around 6 months, or that's what she says.

Given she went cold a week ago with no messages whatsoever, I decided to wait and not do anything about it. My insecurity made me log into the dating website through which we met three days ago and surprise, surprise, she was online this week. So I just read this thread and went no contact too.

So, now three days after I log into the dating website, I suddenly get the first messages from her in a week. Not sure if it's because she noticed I was online too or whatever, but I don't care. Like the OP said, she's so far sent two messages 30 minutes apart. So, that anxiety thing must be kicking in, which is so funny. I still haven't responded to her messages from 3 hours ago, so when's the best time to reply? Let her go through an entire night without a response? I hate playing these drama games, but it's necessary once in a while.

Cheers!
There's nothing for you to win, the game is over. She's actively looking for new men to date. You're not some cuck right?
 
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The 27th Day.

Returned to work on the 3rd of Jan, unfortunately because I work with my Ex, I see her briefly 4-5 times throughout the working day (I don't engage in any conversation unless she's directly passing and I just smile and say Hi). The saving grace is that she works on a different floor that I have to pass to go to different departments. I've really struggled as of late, even though when I do spot her she does look like **** and dejected, I can't help but think about the good times.

I'm really pleased this site exists as I've identified some toxic traits I have, thus resulting in my contribution to the breakup. Towards the end of the relationship, I lost my frame, became an emotional doormat and wasn't the original guy at the start of the relationship. However the only reason I morphed into some clingy beta male with heavy insecurities is because she was pulling away heavily without explanation so I compensated by chasing, giving her too much attention, being constantly available and too sensitive.

The only thing I miss is the companionship and nothing else. Then when I want to text her I think, "Jesus Oliver, if you crawl back, you'll instantly be disrespected at work, you'll be dangling by a thread, walking on eggshells" and what for, just to have someone to text and spend time with? Nah, you can get someone else, someone better.

I've deleted my dating apps, I'm not ready to get back out there yet and I know this maybe frowned upon (i.e go out and spin plates and you'll quickly forget she existed"), Its because I still have a long way to go, especially to regain my former confidence, humour and care free attitude. I've decided that I'm dedicating the next 3 months to me, reverting to my former confident self however vastly improved. This site has helped me massively from reading Pooks literature, I'm halfway through the DJ Bible which has helped me identify my mistakes that I've made in this past relationship.
 
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30 Days in, half way.

Having a brutal day currently. Hearing rumours from colleagues that she’s getting into a relationship with this single father co-worker that has awful personal hygenie nor is attractive. Currently taking this into too much consideration and letting my thoughts get the better of me. I just think her disrespect is appalling and I feel ready to verbally lash out and voice my opinion.

If this doesn’t get better, I’m going to have to give up my position at work, which I’ve worked incredibly hard for just to get her out of my life.
 

Spaz

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30 Days in, half way.

Having a brutal day currently. Hearing rumours from colleagues that she’s getting into a relationship with this single father co-worker that has awful personal hygenie nor is attractive. Currently taking this into too much consideration and letting my thoughts get the better of me. I just think her disrespect is appalling and I feel ready to verbally lash out and voice my opinion.

If this doesn’t get better, I’m going to have to give up my position at work, which I’ve worked incredibly hard for just to get her out of my life.
A soft pvssy has that much power over you ?

You must be softer then a soft pvssy to give up a hard earned position in ur workplace....
 
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