The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Carpathian]

ThanK you for the response. Sometimes I need to be talked back from the cliff. This specific scenario was difficult BC of her being unsure about her BF and me being unsure about my wife. This girl is from a poor broken family and I'm a well off doctor. So there was always this hint with her like she didn't totally belive that I was crazy about her. I could tell she thought I was just going to go back to my wife. When that was never my plan. So I sort of feel like she dumped me cold BC she thought I was just using her and now she just wants me to stay away and not confuse her anymore.

So part of me understands her actions. The problem is that she won't f'ING talk to me at all. All my past responses over the last 6 months or so have been met with silence or leave me alone. It's driving me nuts. It's like I can't break through it and show her that I'm for real. WTF.

Dude, stop trying to rationalize her actions, it will drive you insane and put you off your work that as a doctor (like me) demands your absolute focus. You are trying to apply logic and reason to matters of the heart. It does not work. Move on with your life as if it is over. I understand how hard it can be when her leaving does not make sense; the same happened to me in springtime. Makes no fvkking sense at all what she did, I loved her and was always there for her, a professional, kind, level-headed and well-off man who adored her. I tortured myself for three months just asking "why?" Save yourself that pain dude - it just "IS" so accept that fact as quickly as you can and get yourself a new woman when you have healed over this, someone worthy of you. You deserve that, not that stupid b1atch who looked the gift present horse in the mouth (that is a Slovakian saying not sure it makes sense in English? )

 

[xstang77]

Day 18, I miss this girl like crazy and can't help but think of how great it would be to spend Christmas with her and her daughter which she said she bought presents for the two of us could play together,really thinking about just sending a text though I'm fighting it. Haven't found a single girl that compares to her looks wise let alone that's interested in even going on a date instead of game playing,lonely as hell this sucks.

 

[DamnSon]

She texted me two days ago after 11 or so days of NC. On Social media, I had been posting photos of projects i'm working on etc and other girls have been talking to me. Not that I want them) I was feeling great, like "ah **** this *****"
She dumped me because "She rushed into the relationship, needed time for school, didnt want me to hurt by not having time, bla bla" Basically, I think there was someone else who was less boyfriendy and wanted less from her.

The convo went like this:

Her: Hi
Me: Hey
Her: How are you?
Me: Mhhm, I'm good, you?
Her: I'm okay. I think I made deans list
Me: Woah look at you go, listen im a little busy right now, but i'd love to catch up later, why don't you come by tomorrow night with some wine and we'll catch up. (Trying to set up some sex lol)
Her: I needed to do that, I had to do good and I hope you know that
Her: I think I'm going tomr home tomorrow morning "

I didn't answer. In my head theres 2 outcomes, things are moving along with the guy she left me for and she doesn't want to feel like a hoe, so shes trying to tidy up the past with me. 2: Semester is over, maybe she misses me, or she got with someone else realizes she ****ed up. I dunno.

She woulda probably saw me though. Shes home now, 3 hours away up north, off from college for a month or so. 2 day of NC again, not a word from her yet.

 

[Firestar786]

One month from tommorow onwards
Another month to go

 

[Jediknight888]

Day 16. I keep thinking of contacting her. I know my life is exponentially better then hers. I'm snowboarding and just generally very active. Meanwhile she's working and doesn't have a pot to piss in. I feel like checking in and just to say "hey are you done throwing your tantrum? The rest of us are out enjoying ourselves. You could be too".

I'm sure should would respond with some venomous email, but at this point it's like so what, it's her loss. Opinions?

 

[DamnSon]

You may be bordering on Co-dependency, you feel important because you can "save" her from her "poor" life, you enjoy feeling like a hero. I guess most men feel this way, but be careful here.

 

[searching solace]

Day 16. I keep thinking of contacting her. I know my life is exponentially better then hers. I'm snowboarding and just generally very active. Meanwhile she's working and doesn't have a pot to piss in. I feel like checking in and just to say "hey are you done throwing your tantrum? The rest of us are out enjoying ourselves. You could be too".

I'm sure should would respond with some venomous email, but at this point it's like so what, it's her loss. Opinions?

Come on man, she would see right through that veiled, haughty attitude. Your life is not exponentially better than hers at the moment and even if it was, so what? Do you think she's having this hard time deliberating, agonising whether or not to contact you? No, she is most definitely not. I don't know your story, but I'd wager that she's out having good fun with another man, perhaps not even giving you a second thought.

This was the thought that always sobered me when I was in the depth of depression and oh-so-tempted to reach out and break the deadlock which she probably wasn't even conscious of. She doesn't give a **** anymore, man. And you will (and should) never be with her again.

She probably will contact you again. Mine did after over 6 months. She'll check whether you're still there or to absolve her guilt. Even then, don't entertain it even if 99% of you wants to.

As hard as it may be - and believe me, I know how hard it is - keep the no contact. Either that, or contact her once RIGHT NOW, to put your mind at rest knowing that it really is OVER.

 

[xstang77]

Really on the fence if I should sent out a text saying I hope her daughter has a good Christmas and that I miss her daughter,thinking it would hit her right in the feels since she said how she got her daughter presents for me and her to play together,could this hurt the possibility of my nc making her miss me eventually? Opinions?

 

[DamnSon]

Come on man, she would see right through that veiled, haughty attitude. Your life is not exponentially better than hers at the moment and even if it was, so what? Do you think she's having this hard time deliberating, agonising whether or not to contact you? No, she is most definitely not. I don't know your story, but I'd wager that she's out having good fun with another man, perhaps not even giving you a second thought.

This was the thought that always sobered me when I was in the depth of depression and oh-so-tempted to reach out and break the deadlock which she probably wasn't even conscious of. She doesn't give a **** anymore, man. And you will (and should) never be with her again.

She probably will contact you again. Mine did after over 6 months. She'll check whether you're still there or to absolve her guilt. Even then, don't entertain it even if 99% of you wants to.

As hard as it may be - and believe me, I know how hard it is - keep the no contact. Either that, or contact her once RIGHT NOW, to put your mind at rest knowing that it really is OVER.

Why to absolve guilt though? You dont think they could reach out generally wanting to get back, like they made a mistake? Why would they be feeling guilty if they didnt give a ****?

 

[searching solace]

Why to absolve guilt though? You dont think they could reach out generally wanting to get back, like they made a mistake? Why would they be feeling guilty if they didnt give a ****?

There will probably come a point down the road when she's moved on, when she takes a look back over her shoulder at you and thinks 'I hope he doesn't think badly of me for what I did, I should be an awesome person and wish him well, maybe even see if he still wants back into my life'... It probably won't be about you as much as it is about herself. Or perhaps her new relationships starts to flicker out and so she will begin efforts to create a back-up and contact you then. Not so much that they made a mistake - these girls know what they're doing - that's just you framing it in a way that's easier for you ego to handle. Sorry, but there is always going to be someone better than you.

And of course they will eventually reach out if you keep 100% no contact. I bet 90% of them do within the timeframe of a 6 months - a year. Do you think that all this is as big a deal to them as it is to you right now? Nope.

I know all that probably sounds 'pessimistic' to you and I'm happy to consider other opinions, but from what I've seen it's the reality.

 

[Reykhel]

Fellas, the reason you're suffering is because of attachment and believing she is more special than the next woman.

You think it's love.

Fellas, the one true love is with yourselves. Fall in love with yourselves and learn the art of detachment.

You learn those too things it will revolutionise your ****ing life.

Fellas, bytches they come they go.....

You are your best gift

 

[Viento]

I did the dumping about two months ago and just realized it had been that long. All my other exe's have sent me xmas good wishes but this one. Hmm it's better this way.

 

[Reykhel]

I did the dumping about two months ago and just realized it had been that long. All my other exe's have sent me xmas good wishes but this one. Hmm it's better this way.

Really? All of your ex's sent you Christmas good wishes??!!!

How many? Through what medium?

So the ones that dump you stay in contact months, years later? But not this one...

 

[xstang77]

None of mine do unless there currently trying to Fvck me,I sent my ex one to screw with her just wishing her daughter a merry Christmas and that I missed her daughter,didn't mention her and didn't hear anything back lol her loss.

 

[TheGambino]

She told me she's not ready what means not ready ever for me after 2 succesfull dates and 1 major f8ck up at the club last saturday.

I need to move on and not contact her.

26-12-2016

Day one of no contact.

 

[Jediknight888]

I was at Day 16.... my story is f'd and complicated. To sum it up... I'm married. I seperated from my wife and dated this girl for about a month but we had worked together for about 7 months so the feelings were already there.

Anyway she dumped me BC she wasnt over her abusive BF..... a few weeks later my wife wanted to start dating again so I did. My wife is the better catch out of the 2 for a lot of reasons.

But this girl insisted on ending things badly. She took the nuclear option and just caused a bunch of drama. For months I would try to check in, say hi, say I hope all is well and just try to stay in contact BC I did really like her, but she would respond with venom.

To this day I don't understand it. In the end it is her loss. My wife and I are having our 2nd child in April. I did email this girl xmas eve (broke my 16 day NC). I just said hi I hope all is well. I just wanted to see how things were going and wish you a merry xmas. Still no response. Which is typical. That's basically been the protocol since she found out my wife was pregnant.

It's like she dumped me in the rudest f'ing way and then it was like she was mad at me for getting back with my wife a few months afterwards. Like WTF? Were you expecting me to wait for you? When she found out my wife was pregnant it's been radio silence.

I can't help for feeling bad about how it ended but it wasn't my doing. So her loss. Off to better things.

 

[BeTheChange]

Ex sent me a personalised Christmas message, which was weird given she'd blocked me two weeks ago for no apparent reason. I ignored them. Was having too good a day to bother responding.

Ex sent me another message today of an inside joke picture. Didn't reply. Haven't spoken in nearly two weeks and don't intend to.

I don't think I can have a truly "fulfilling" relationship with another chick until I flush out my ex completely. 60 days shouldn't be a problem.

Looking forward to seeing two of my new plates when I head back to my city later this week. The great thing about them is they are both so different from each other, excite me for different reasons and have their own little quirks and eccentricities.

 

[Roober]

I was at Day 16.... my story is f'd and complicated. To sum it up... I'm married. I seperated from my wife and dated this girl for about a month but we had worked together for about 7 months so the feelings were already there.

Anyway she dumped me BC she wasnt over her abusive BF..... a few weeks later my wife wanted to start dating again so I did. My wife is the better catch out of the 2 for a lot of reasons.

But this girl insisted on ending things badly. She took the nuclear option and just caused a bunch of drama. For months I would try to check in, say hi, say I hope all is well and just try to stay in contact BC I did really like her, but she would respond with venom.

To this day I don't understand it. In the end it is her loss. My wife and I are having our 2nd child in April. I did email this girl xmas eve (broke my 16 day NC). I just said hi I hope all is well. I just wanted to see how things were going and wish you a merry xmas. Still no response. Which is typical. That's basically been the protocol since she found out my wife was pregnant.

It's like she dumped me in the rudest f'ing way and then it was like she was mad at me for getting back with my wife a few months afterwards. Like WTF? Were you expecting me to wait for you? When she found out my wife was pregnant it's been radio silence.

I can't help for feeling bad about how it ended but it wasn't my doing. So her loss. Off to better things.

Not sure why you care since you are reconciling with the wife? And she is preggo...

 

[xstang77]

Not sure why you care since you are reconciling with the wife? And she is preggo...

This. I agree she was just a side fling really,it's not like you have nothing, you have a wife and kid forget the *****.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

no contact works excellent indeed, except when you have a 2 year old son with the chick you still have a crush on! hahahaah