The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Sprayarc]

Day 19
I want to forget about her but i can't please help. I do not want her to exist anymore even though she was a rare for me and it seems hard for me to get something better or similar.

Get out of the house. Have conversations with strangers or friends. Hit the gym. You have to force yourself to do stuff like this because you may not want to but these things will help.

 

[Airstryke]

Reset. Back to Day 2.

I was stupid and responded to her text on Monday knowing that probably wasn't a good idea. I basically just said that I'm going dark so she knew where I stood. No reply on her end, which I'm not exactly shocked. She already said she wanted time to herself so I imagine I won't be hearing back from her again unless I bump into her at work.

I'm having the same issue as others where I felt like this girl was a rare find, both looks-wise and personality-wise. I really can't say anything bad about her other than how things ended. She blindsided me right after we had a great weekend of hanging out/being all over each other. I think the blindside breakup is probably worse than having a valid excuse. I'd kill for something to have in my back pocket to hold against her but I don't. Even when she broke things off, she was cordial and nice about it (well, nice as one can be when they're ripping someone's heart out).

I went to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks last night. That helped a little. I'm going to go back again tonight and try to get into a routine to better myself. It also helped me take my mind off of her for a bit. I know it's probably too early but I downloaded Tinder and was screwing around on that trying to find other girls to fill that hole. The problem is, I find myself comparing the others to her and most of them don't match up looks-wise. It's frustrating as hell.

 

[Sprayarc]

Reset. Back to Day 2.

I was stupid and responded to her text on Monday knowing that probably wasn't a good idea. I basically just said that I'm going dark so she knew where I stood. No reply on her end, which I'm not exactly shocked. She already said she wanted time to herself so I imagine I won't be hearing back from her again unless I bump into her at work.

I'm having the same issue as others where I felt like this girl was a rare find, both looks-wise and personality-wise. I really can't say anything bad about her other than how things ended. She blindsided me right after we had a great weekend of hanging out/being all over each other. I think the blindside breakup is probably worse than having a valid excuse. I'd kill for something to have in my back pocket to hold against her but I don't. Even when she broke things off, she was cordial and nice about it (well, nice as one can be when they're ripping someone's heart out).

I went to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks last night. That helped a little. I'm going to go back again tonight and try to get into a routine to better myself. It also helped me take my mind off of her for a bit. I know it's probably too early but I downloaded Tinder and was screwing around on that trying to find other girls to fill that hole. The problem is, I find myself comparing the others to her and most of them don't match up looks-wise. It's frustrating as hell.

I know how you feel. I've been there and it sucked. Keep in mind she probably already has a new guy that is fvcking her.

It's sick I know. They'll still try to keep you on the back burner.

Women are like this. Selfish. Self serving.

Of course she was careful to hide the truth. If you had something to hold against her it'd make it difficult for you to walk away and get over her. That's what she wanted and/or to "protect" your feelings.

 

[Airstryke]

I know how you feel. I've been there and it sucked. Keep in mind she probably already has a new guy that is fvcking her.

It's sick I know. They'll still try to keep you on the back burner.

Women are like this. Selfish. Self serving.

Of course she was careful to hide the truth. If you had something to hold against her it'd make it difficult for you to walk away and get over her. That's what she wanted and/or to "protect" your feelings.

I wouldn't be all that surprised if that's really what's going on but she was pretty adamant that this wasn't for another guy. Who knows if she was just blowing smoke to "protect me" though. She went on and on about how she has a ton of stuff to figure out and can't do it when she's focusing on a guy. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that she bailed on me. The only option for me is to move on. Even with me doing NC on her now, I seriously doubt she'll ever contact me again. Maybe that's a good thing...

 

[dustmuffin]

I wouldn't be all that surprised if that's really what's going on but she was pretty adamant that this wasn't for another guy. Who knows if she was just blowing smoke to "protect me" though. She went on and on about how she has a ton of stuff to figure out and can't do it when she's focusing on a guy. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that she bailed on me. The only option for me is to move on. Even with me doing NC on her now, I seriously doubt she'll ever contact me again. Maybe that's a good thing...

It dosent mater why. You need to move on.

 

[Airstryke]

It dosent mater why. You need to move on.

Yeah, I realize that now. I'm doing that. Just been a little harder than I was anticipating so far. I'll get there though.

 

[dustmuffin]

Yeah, I realize that now. I'm doing that. Just been a little harder than I was anticipating so far. I'll get there though.

Yes you will keep at it. I understand how you feel. I am just out of an ltr myself.

 

[Glumix]

Day 1 - Restart

So I went NC on the 12th of November, 3 days after we broke up. Never told her I went NC. Last message I sent her was "Bye now".

Today she sent me a text because she still have one of my DVD :

Her : "Hi, how are you? Do you want me to put the DVD in your mailbox?"
Me : "Hi, I am fine and you? Yes, please. ;-)"
Her : "So so. I thought that."

And I didn't answer.

At first I felt good because 1. I showed her I was fine and 2. She showed me she was not that fine.
But then I wondered if it was a good idea to even answer, or just say "Yes, please.".

So well, I restart the NC for 60 days.

 

[dustmuffin]

Day 1 - Restart

So I went NC on the 12th of November, 3 days after we broke up. Never told her I went NC. Last message I sent her was "Bye now".

Today she sent me a text because she still have one of my DVD :

Her : "Hi, how are you? Do you want me to put the DVD in your mailbox?"
Me : "Hi, I am fine and you? Yes, please. ;-)"
Her : "So so. I thought that."

And I didn't answer.

At first I felt good because 1. I showed her I was fine and 2. She showed me she was not that fine.
But then I wondered if it was a good idea to even answer, or just say "Yes, please.".

So well, I restart the NC for 60 days.

A simple yes would have been best. I am dropping my ex's stack of stuff she left at my house on her porch saturday. I didnt warn her. I am just dumping it and she will see it. If she texts a thank you I will ignore.

 

[Glumix]

I did that one month ago. Dropped her stuff when she was at work and left. No message. That drove her crazy.

 

[dustmuffin]

I did that one month ago. Dropped her stuff when she was at work and left. No message. That drove her crazy.

How do you know it drove her crazy?

 

[Glumix]

How do you know it drove her crazy?

You're right, technically speaking, I have no clue about the after.

But a few days before she wanted that we see each other so that I could give her her stuff and I said no that I will drop everything at her home or by some friends of her and she became angry saying that she thought we could "break-up like adults" and some more judgments and insults.

For her, breaking-up like adults means staying as friends for as long as she hasn't find a new BF.

But it's not about the stuff. It's about not accepting to see or speak to her anymore.

 

[dustmuffin]

You're right, technically speaking, I have no clue about the after.

But a few days before she wanted that we see each other so that I could give her her stuff and I said no that I will drop everything at her home or by some friends of her and she became angry saying that she thought we could "break-up like adults" and some more judgments and insults.

For her, breaking-up like adults means staying as friends for as long as she hasn't find a new BF.

But it's not about the stuff. It's about not accepting to see or speak to her anymore.

She wants you as an orbiter. My wanted me to be her special friend. That entails supporting her emotionally. I told her that was for her bf/husband to do. I won't do it or be your friend period. She didnt like it. Little miss dosent get what she wants always. She wanted me to act like a bf but I would get no sex. It was an ldr and I will never have another.

 

[Glumix]

She wants you as an orbiter. My wanted me to be her special friend. That entails supporting her emotionally. I told her that was for her bf/husband to do. I won't do it or be your friend period. She didnt like it. Little miss dosent get what she wants always.

I already did that with an ex I dumped a few years ago.

She stayed around and at first I didn't see any problem because I didn't love her anymore. So we continued to fvck and do stuff but she slowly took some distance, at the end, I went all AFC, and she finished me with some push/pull, she couldn't chose between me and another guy. She was probably already with that guy but just playing with me a bit more.

Ah man, that was so pathetic! So now, when it's over, it's NC forever.

Wish my mom has taught me self-esteem and self-worth when I was kid. I wouldn't have to learn it the hard way 30 years after.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Day 5, reset
I have this thoughts about how she cheated because I was a jerk to her in the past and somehow I deserve it and so on, so I looked her up in social media, big mistake because I was extremely close to text her. Thanks god I didnt, I hope I stay stronger in the future, because the first 4 days were easy as ****, it was just today that I was feeling down. This is going to be a wild ride, and I want off, the sooner the better, so let's no break the NC this time.

 

[_Dream_]

Day 1
It has been 30 days since i got dumped. I was together with that girl for 6 years and about to ask her to marry me, so it hurt me a lot.
There was no valid reason except she felt "cold" and found a new guy ( even though she told me she loved me until the very last day)

She did most of the work on her own. Deleted me from facebook, blocked my email, youtube, forum contacts.. etc.

• At first week i used her roommate to give her a letter = did nothing but kill my self-respect, but there were things that had to be said

• After two weeks she contacted me to ask "how i was doing", i broke emotionally, tried to do and say anything to get her back ( i hate that i did that )

• I continued posting on a forum that we used to be on together, nothing related to her, general talk with other people, and sometimes she would respond with a funny image or a reply. I would simply reply like she was any other stranger on the internet and keep the joke going, but maybe even that was a mistake..

Reading books about red pill, the game and all other things helps me a lot, I am much better now. But i want to use this chance to initiate this NC ordeal.
I am working abroad so its not that hard since she blocked me everywhere. But Ill be back home soon, where everything will remind me of her.
So I want to stop posting on forums where she goes to, and i want to stop myself from going to see her at Christmas. Also stop from talking to our mutual friends about her..
Good luck future me, good luck

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Mate, I have read your other thread and our exs have done more or less the same ****. Don't think too much about her reasons, if she has such a need for attention that she can't wait 1 year for you to solve your stuff then it's not worth it.

 

[_Dream_]

Thx for kind words friend. I know she isn't worth it, but i invested so much in her and developed so many mutual habits. It just feels like i wasted a lot of time.
I will not seek her out ever again, she has to beg me to come back.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I was 5 years with the girl, 3 living together and I know what you mean, she would make me coffee after lunch, or the movie before going to sleep.

You say she has to beg you to come back, I don't think that is a good idea. You should never come back with her, but I understand where you stand.

 

[_Dream_]

Day 2
Okey its been 31 days from the break up, 17 days since we last talked. But it is yesterday when i stoped posting on the forum where she hangs around.
This morning i got a email from her "are you alive?"

I do not understand why she would ask that, i know we have been 6 years together, but she dumped me... she is over with me... why even bother asking?
Now on the one hand, NC tells me not to respond to that.
But some other sources tell me to respond in short friendly messages and pretend everything is great. Should i answer with "im fine" or do nothing
Im not sure what to do