The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Wisconsin144]

hey there
its been 2 weeks since i've started nc.its all going well with me but just one question pops up in my head every single time i.e how to make the conversation going after nc.for eg.my 1st text after nc would be "hey do remember we went to (abc) place?can you tell me which way is it?i'm planning to take my friend there but am confused about which way is it!!" and her reply probably would be "bla bla bla" is the way bjt what do i do after that?how do i keep the conv.going?

You don't, no contact means no contact, trust me, I was in your situation months ago, lost the girl who I thought was the girl of my dreams, now almost seven months later, I'm in a three month long relationship with a girl I am proud to say I love, and truly loves me back. Stay away from your ex, if she comes back on her own so be it, otherwise, better yourself. And give zero ****s about her.

 

[Losmi_bgd]

Day 4
I did start my NC even before finding this place and reading what experiences guys had ...i must say i recognize myself a lots among the stories i read, a bit combined though...so here it is, my story...what i actually did was something i would never go for and would be horribly judgemental on guys who are doing it. I was dating a girl who i met as prostitute, and our first night we spent as client and hooker, as we met in night club. We had awesome crazy night and the next day we were like kind of "dating". Well, don't get me wrong i was really sexualy attracted to her and i found justification to do that only to get laid a lot but not being forced to pay. Day after day after day and we became a couple. And i seem to forget what she is in fact, a low moral person who cares of nothing but herself. I even doubted she's was keepling some clientele on FB and chatted with them over FB MSG but I never allowed to go more then just a doubts. She never added a single picture of me on her fb profile neither have mentioned me for about 2 years we've been together. I was not bothered with it as much i am now when i think of everything. I am 38 years and this is my 4th long relationship and I manage to be unwise and allowed all of this to happen. So after almost 2 years I got the new job in other country so i left ahead first by muself with plan to bring her over. Its been a year and she's been nothing more then playing me allalong, until she finally dumped me! But she did it only after i announced to her the wedding date which was 1 month ahead. (we had to be married for her visa) Of course no explanation one day she started being not interested and started to ignore me etc classic. And i was going mad, really mad and now after 4 days no contact i still go nuts every once in a while during the day....reading the posts here did made me calm though. Write later must catch train home aaa...

DAY 7 - Yesterday was day 6 and she texted me, i texted back and there we were in communication. I mean, the NC was broken and we had finally a decent conversation after more then a month. Its crazy, I know she's not good for me and most probably the life filled with misery is waiting but still i am going with my head through the wall. This i dont understand, how to beat down your heart and tell him to back off? Week in Thailand? Pataya could heal the wound...hmm...one thing is for sure, after those 6 days of NC i did recover a bit, so right now I am not expecting anything and start planning holidays in Pataya.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Day 1
I don't really want to contact her because I'm angry as hell and happy to lose her of my life, but I know that in a couple of weeks I'll want to talk things with her. So I hope to add an element of social shame with this, so I stay strong easier.

 

[Losmi_bgd]

DAY 7 - Yesterday was day 6 and she texted me, i texted back and there we were in communication. I mean, the NC was broken and we had finally a decent conversation after more then a month. Its crazy, I know she's not good for me and most probably the life filled with misery is waiting but still i am going with my head through the wall. This i dont understand, how to beat down your heart and tell him to back off? Week in Thailand? Pataya could heal the wound...hmm...one thing is for sure, after those 6 days of NC i did recover a bit, so right now I am not expecting anything and start planning holidays in Pataya.

DAY 8 - NC was not broken but interuppted for a while and then continued...still thinking of that stupid b...h, she was the one to initiate contact asking how I am...why? Does it mean she still has some emotions left or it is normal like this. Means probably she will not be contacting me anymore and who gives a ****. I figured, its hard to get through this but i will go through. Tomorrow is a new day...

 

[troubled funk]

New here and thank .... i found this site! It really does help reading these posts.
Anyway i'm 4 day's in NC and today it's killing me.
No LTR but 6 weeks of dating a girl i've always been crazy about.SHE initiated the whole thing,you'd think you'd won the lottery right?beautiful woman you crazy about asks YOU out....then 6 weeks of mixed messages,lotta hanging out,txting but ZERO contact..nothing.Not a hug,holding hand's,not so much as a flirting touch...i tried twice and she flipped that i'm pressuring her.What other conclusions can you drawn apart from she just aint that into you huh? F... it,thats my conclusion anyway so no way to another 6 weeks of feeling about as wanted as the f.....g elephant man
Call me a wuss but i didnt even try for sex,it really was easy does it and any attempt was met with a flip out!
She instigated a lot of date's,even cooked nice meals and quiet night's in,always said she was into me....but the action's spoke volume's and i had to walk.
Just got the wobbles now that maybe i was too hasty...i can be kinda rash at times to my detriment.
My 3 best female mates agreed 2 to 1 that she's not THAT interested.
F.. it,deleted her number so no choice but NC for me!!Excuse the cussin but it's tough doing NC
Cheers for your time people.

 

[Sprayarc]

Day 19
I want to forget about her but i can't please help. I do not want her to exist anymore even though she was a rare for me and it seems hard for me to get something better or similar.

Get out of the house. Have conversations with strangers or friends. Hit the gym. You have to force yourself to do stuff like this because you may not want to but these things will help.

 

[Airstryke]

Reset. Back to Day 2.

I was stupid and responded to her text on Monday knowing that probably wasn't a good idea. I basically just said that I'm going dark so she knew where I stood. No reply on her end, which I'm not exactly shocked. She already said she wanted time to herself so I imagine I won't be hearing back from her again unless I bump into her at work.

I'm having the same issue as others where I felt like this girl was a rare find, both looks-wise and personality-wise. I really can't say anything bad about her other than how things ended. She blindsided me right after we had a great weekend of hanging out/being all over each other. I think the blindside breakup is probably worse than having a valid excuse. I'd kill for something to have in my back pocket to hold against her but I don't. Even when she broke things off, she was cordial and nice about it (well, nice as one can be when they're ripping someone's heart out).

I went to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks last night. That helped a little. I'm going to go back again tonight and try to get into a routine to better myself. It also helped me take my mind off of her for a bit. I know it's probably too early but I downloaded Tinder and was screwing around on that trying to find other girls to fill that hole. The problem is, I find myself comparing the others to her and most of them don't match up looks-wise. It's frustrating as hell.

 

[Sprayarc]

Reset. Back to Day 2.

I was stupid and responded to her text on Monday knowing that probably wasn't a good idea. I basically just said that I'm going dark so she knew where I stood. No reply on her end, which I'm not exactly shocked. She already said she wanted time to herself so I imagine I won't be hearing back from her again unless I bump into her at work.

I'm having the same issue as others where I felt like this girl was a rare find, both looks-wise and personality-wise. I really can't say anything bad about her other than how things ended. She blindsided me right after we had a great weekend of hanging out/being all over each other. I think the blindside breakup is probably worse than having a valid excuse. I'd kill for something to have in my back pocket to hold against her but I don't. Even when she broke things off, she was cordial and nice about it (well, nice as one can be when they're ripping someone's heart out).

I went to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks last night. That helped a little. I'm going to go back again tonight and try to get into a routine to better myself. It also helped me take my mind off of her for a bit. I know it's probably too early but I downloaded Tinder and was screwing around on that trying to find other girls to fill that hole. The problem is, I find myself comparing the others to her and most of them don't match up looks-wise. It's frustrating as hell.

I know how you feel. I've been there and it sucked. Keep in mind she probably already has a new guy that is fvcking her.

It's sick I know. They'll still try to keep you on the back burner.

Women are like this. Selfish. Self serving.

Of course she was careful to hide the truth. If you had something to hold against her it'd make it difficult for you to walk away and get over her. That's what she wanted and/or to "protect" your feelings.

 

[Airstryke]

I know how you feel. I've been there and it sucked. Keep in mind she probably already has a new guy that is fvcking her.

It's sick I know. They'll still try to keep you on the back burner.

Women are like this. Selfish. Self serving.

Of course she was careful to hide the truth. If you had something to hold against her it'd make it difficult for you to walk away and get over her. That's what she wanted and/or to "protect" your feelings.

I wouldn't be all that surprised if that's really what's going on but she was pretty adamant that this wasn't for another guy. Who knows if she was just blowing smoke to "protect me" though. She went on and on about how she has a ton of stuff to figure out and can't do it when she's focusing on a guy. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that she bailed on me. The only option for me is to move on. Even with me doing NC on her now, I seriously doubt she'll ever contact me again. Maybe that's a good thing...

 

[dustmuffin]

I wouldn't be all that surprised if that's really what's going on but she was pretty adamant that this wasn't for another guy. Who knows if she was just blowing smoke to "protect me" though. She went on and on about how she has a ton of stuff to figure out and can't do it when she's focusing on a guy. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that she bailed on me. The only option for me is to move on. Even with me doing NC on her now, I seriously doubt she'll ever contact me again. Maybe that's a good thing...

It dosent mater why. You need to move on.

 

[Airstryke]

It dosent mater why. You need to move on.

Yeah, I realize that now. I'm doing that. Just been a little harder than I was anticipating so far. I'll get there though.

 

[dustmuffin]

Yeah, I realize that now. I'm doing that. Just been a little harder than I was anticipating so far. I'll get there though.

Yes you will keep at it. I understand how you feel. I am just out of an ltr myself.

 

[Glumix]

Day 1 - Restart

So I went NC on the 12th of November, 3 days after we broke up. Never told her I went NC. Last message I sent her was "Bye now".

Today she sent me a text because she still have one of my DVD :

Her : "Hi, how are you? Do you want me to put the DVD in your mailbox?"
Me : "Hi, I am fine and you? Yes, please. ;-)"
Her : "So so. I thought that."

And I didn't answer.

At first I felt good because 1. I showed her I was fine and 2. She showed me she was not that fine.
But then I wondered if it was a good idea to even answer, or just say "Yes, please.".

So well, I restart the NC for 60 days.

 

[dustmuffin]

Day 1 - Restart

So I went NC on the 12th of November, 3 days after we broke up. Never told her I went NC. Last message I sent her was "Bye now".

Today she sent me a text because she still have one of my DVD :

Her : "Hi, how are you? Do you want me to put the DVD in your mailbox?"
Me : "Hi, I am fine and you? Yes, please. ;-)"
Her : "So so. I thought that."

And I didn't answer.

At first I felt good because 1. I showed her I was fine and 2. She showed me she was not that fine.
But then I wondered if it was a good idea to even answer, or just say "Yes, please.".

So well, I restart the NC for 60 days.

A simple yes would have been best. I am dropping my ex's stack of stuff she left at my house on her porch saturday. I didnt warn her. I am just dumping it and she will see it. If she texts a thank you I will ignore.

 

[Glumix]

I did that one month ago. Dropped her stuff when she was at work and left. No message. That drove her crazy.

 

[dustmuffin]

I did that one month ago. Dropped her stuff when she was at work and left. No message. That drove her crazy.

How do you know it drove her crazy?

 

[Glumix]

How do you know it drove her crazy?

You're right, technically speaking, I have no clue about the after.

But a few days before she wanted that we see each other so that I could give her her stuff and I said no that I will drop everything at her home or by some friends of her and she became angry saying that she thought we could "break-up like adults" and some more judgments and insults.

For her, breaking-up like adults means staying as friends for as long as she hasn't find a new BF.

But it's not about the stuff. It's about not accepting to see or speak to her anymore.

 

[dustmuffin]

You're right, technically speaking, I have no clue about the after.

But a few days before she wanted that we see each other so that I could give her her stuff and I said no that I will drop everything at her home or by some friends of her and she became angry saying that she thought we could "break-up like adults" and some more judgments and insults.

For her, breaking-up like adults means staying as friends for as long as she hasn't find a new BF.

But it's not about the stuff. It's about not accepting to see or speak to her anymore.

She wants you as an orbiter. My wanted me to be her special friend. That entails supporting her emotionally. I told her that was for her bf/husband to do. I won't do it or be your friend period. She didnt like it. Little miss dosent get what she wants always. She wanted me to act like a bf but I would get no sex. It was an ldr and I will never have another.

 

[Glumix]

She wants you as an orbiter. My wanted me to be her special friend. That entails supporting her emotionally. I told her that was for her bf/husband to do. I won't do it or be your friend period. She didnt like it. Little miss dosent get what she wants always.

I already did that with an ex I dumped a few years ago.

She stayed around and at first I didn't see any problem because I didn't love her anymore. So we continued to fvck and do stuff but she slowly took some distance, at the end, I went all AFC, and she finished me with some push/pull, she couldn't chose between me and another guy. She was probably already with that guy but just playing with me a bit more.

Ah man, that was so pathetic! So now, when it's over, it's NC forever.

Wish my mom has taught me self-esteem and self-worth when I was kid. I wouldn't have to learn it the hard way 30 years after.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Day 5, reset
I have this thoughts about how she cheated because I was a jerk to her in the past and somehow I deserve it and so on, so I looked her up in social media, big mistake because I was extremely close to text her. Thanks god I didnt, I hope I stay stronger in the future, because the first 4 days were easy as ****, it was just today that I was feeling down. This is going to be a wild ride, and I want off, the sooner the better, so let's no break the NC this time.