The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Robert28

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I was 31 days no contact until she reached out and convinced me to go out for a meal. Despite being a regular reader on this site: I said yes...
It transpires that she just wanted to LJBF me. What a **** move. Feeling like a right idiot.

Starting over... DAY 1.
Wait, she reached out to go on a date and then told you she wanted to be friends in person or what? Why didn’t you decline the date and just make her come to your house if she wanted to hangout so bad?
 

Matt91

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Wait, she reached out to go on a date and then told you she wanted to be friends in person or what? Why didn’t you decline the date and just make her come to your house if she wanted to hangout so bad?
Yep. She reached out on Tuesday and I agreed (hesitantly) a time and place to meet. No further contact until today where she basically proceeds to tell me that I got my wires crossed and that she’s completely over it. But of course she wants to remain friends. I refused point blank and walked. My fault for even entertaining the idea I suppose!
 

powersize

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I was 31 days no contact until she reached out and convinced me to go out for a meal. Despite being a regular reader on this site: I said yes...
It transpires that she just wanted to LJBF me. What a **** move. Feeling like a right idiot.

Starting over... DAY 1.
Read it: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-to-handle-being-dumped-stood-up-or-rejected.82346/

And https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-just-got-dumped-guide.155594/


But i would ignore her at the first contact or reply something like: I am going to meet my friends, text you later. And of course won't text or call. And if she chases you enough after - you can arrange the date.

Your time should be to expensive for her for doing such crap.

What do you thing guys?
 

Matt91

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Read it: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-to-handle-being-dumped-stood-up-or-rejected.82346/

And https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-just-got-dumped-guide.155594/


But i would ignore her at the first contact or reply something like: I am going to meet my friends, text you later. And of course won't text or call. And if she chases you enough after - you can arrange the date.

Your time should be to expensive for her for doing such crap.

What do you thing guys?
Wow that’s an eye opener, thanks for the links. I’d just assumed her IL was middling to high in order to ask me out! Just completely flipped around when we went out.

I should have never even been considering letting her in again though.
 

powersize

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Wow that’s an eye opener, thanks for the links. I’d just assumed her IL was middling to high in order to ask me out! Just completely flipped around when we went out.

I should have never even been considering letting her in again though.
Man....They are testing us every day. We should test them as well and don't be always available.
 

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guru1000

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Yep. She reached out on Tuesday and I agreed (hesitantly) a time and place to meet. No further contact until today where she basically proceeds to tell me that I got my wires crossed and that she’s completely over it. But of course she wants to remain friends. I refused point blank and walked. My fault for even entertaining the idea I suppose!
Should have said, "Over what?" with a puzzled look. "Of course, we're friends! I always felt that way toward you. Come clubbing with me tonight, lots of cute girls there?"

You see the point here is that she shouldn't AFFECT you at all emotionally. It's a joke. You are friends. By her saying "she's completely over it," she is really saying she is not completely over it. That's why she said it. If she were truly over it, she would have no need to mention it, as "IT" would no longer exist in her mind to be conscious of. Get it?

That's when you win: When she is not over it, and you're at the stage of "Eh, want to club with me later. Lots of cute chicks there?"
 

Mauser96

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I am with Guru. If she "was over it" she wouldn't even want to meet up. She was gauging your reaction.
 

niceguytoalphamale

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I became exclusive with a girl and had a heated debate. HB9 can't stand her lying cheating friends, family. Kids, etc: she also gave another guy her number (a white knight) in which she discusses her problems with me I suppose anyway I don't care lol day 4 for me.
Btw this girl and white knight are talking on her facebook wall.. I swear it's to make me react but I'm not being rocked. Gotta be strong in this game.
 

Matt91

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This
Should have said, "Over what?" with a puzzled look. "Of course, we're friends! I always felt that way toward you. Come clubbing with me tonight, lots of cute girls there?"

You see the point here is that she shouldn't AFFECT you at all emotionally. It's a joke. You are friends. By her saying "she's completely over it," she is really saying she is not completely over it. That's why she said it. If she were truly over it, she would have no need to mention it, as "IT" would no longer exist in her mind to be conscious of. Get it?

That's when you win: When she is not over it, and you're at the stage of "Eh, want to club with me later. Lots of cute chicks there?"
I’ve been no contact again since. I’ve got a couple of plates spinning, so will hope to forget all about her soon. Ashamed to admit she still affects me emotionally, so I recognise I should have rejected the chance to meet straight away.
By the way, she HATED the fact that when we split up, I walked away without any complaint. Told me she got so angry she cried for hours... HAHA
 

soulforge

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Week 6 NC

A couple of weeks ago I was VERY tempted to message her, and let her know that i'm perfectly happy with her decision to end it..

Now I don't feel that urge much anymore.. I let my silence and totally ghosting her do all the talking.

Now that I have somewhat emotionally detached myself from her, I realise that I settled for less.. There was no long term future with this one, but I just settled for whatever she gave me. My expectations should have been HIGHER.

I was sat on the sidelines, seeing her once or twice a week long distance, while she was busy raising other mens kids, who took much higher priority over me.

I certainly have learned some important lessons from this breakup

So far I have had zero urge to contact her, so i'm sure things will get easier and better in days to come.
 

soulforge

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Another thing guys.. Don't ever think "This Girl is Different"

She is not different.. She may come across as the sweet naive and innocent type like my ex did, but on the Base level most woman operate in exactly the same way.

Do NOT get too comfortable with them.
Do NOT always do things for them.
Do NOT always be there for them.
DO let them down from time to time.
Have a social life other than her.
Have hobbies and interests other than her.
Be a fukin challenge.
AlWAYS take red flags seriously

And for fuk sake, do NOT get into a LDR with a single mom.. Massive probability of it failing.
 

powersize

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Another thing guys.. Don't ever think "This Girl is Different"

She is not different.. She may come across as the sweet naive and innocent type like my ex did, but on the Base level most woman operate in exactly the same way.

Do NOT get too comfortable with them.
Do NOT always do things for them.
Do NOT always be there for them.
DO let them down from time to time.
Have a social life other than her.
Have hobbies and interests other than her.
Be a fukin challenge.
AlWAYS take red flags seriously

And for fuk sake, do NOT get into a LDR with a single mom.. Massive probability of it failing.
Yeah man....red flags...
After these 2 months i realized that she was a wrong person for me and fur sure not "the one"
But now i have a feeling that i became even more confident just because i learned a lot how to deal with girls and don't give a **** if some chick reject me.
 

Johnwic11

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I’m on like day 63. Saw a picture on fb one her friends posted. She looked pretty hot to me. Worried I fooled myself in most recent girls being hotter
 

soulforge

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Had a dream about her last night.. This is the first time I dreamt about her.. Woke up feeling a little emotional..

Just going to have to shake the feeling off with some cradio and gym session.
 

Thanos 2.0

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Remember: The point of going NC is to move on from the person...forever. Do NOT go NC hoping they'll come back after some time.

Your mindset should be "Hopefully, I'll never hear from them again".
 
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soulforge

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@Thanos 2.0 what causes the woman to come back after no contact? Even if they ended it? What causes this?

I think sometimes after not hearing anything from you at all, they start to feel some uncertainty about the decision they made.

Some start to second guess themselves.. Some only contact you, to check if your still on the hook (just incase things don't workout with the new guy)

Some will contact you, when the new guy turns out to be a complete dirt bag..

If she dumped you once guys... Remember she can ALWAYS dump you AGAIN.

Be careful what you wish for..

In my case it was long distance.. Even if she did contact me again, I would tell her I am not interested.. Long distance is doomed to fail.

Plus I wouldn't want to get emotionally involved with a woman, who is a long term liability.

I kind of get it, if you screwed the relationship up because of beta, needy behaviour.. You have now developed and grown as a person.. Maybe you could do better with her the next time... Problem is the risks are too high.. You would always be walking on egg shells incase she drops your azz again.

Best thing to do is move on!
 

niceguytoalphamale

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@soulforge I always get dumped for being the a.s.shole and then I jump straight into no contact then voila they miraculously return and i do it all over again lol.. And they can't replace me.. what can I say? I guess I am a c.u.n.t haha
 
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