Talking to someone who likes somebody else

brad jarry

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I've had my eyes on this girl for a while now. She was in a relationship like two months ago, got out of it, and now she's talking to somebody again. I didn't even know she was looking for someone but sure enough, she's in the talking stage with someone already. He doesn't go to our school, maybe she thinks boys in our school are childish, idk.

Anyway, I don't have her number and we really only talk on a hi and bye basis. And I'm feeling bold enough to walk up to her next week and ask for her number. I'm tired of waiting around and I feel like if I don't do it, whether she talks to someone or not, I'll be left wondering what if. I figured maybe if I got her number and got to know her etc. I could get my name in her head and make her forget about the other guy.

Am I wasting my time though? She talks to someone already so would me asking for her number (trying to be friends) be dumb? I talked to some of my friends and they said don't do it and that she'd be "cheating" or a "hoe" for giving me her number, but the other half said go ahead.

This is literally the last girl in my school I would try to get. Everyone else is boring, or in a relationship. And I don't like out of school relationships. Not to mention she's my last chance at a relationship. I'm literally surrounded by couples and feel hella lonely most times. I've been working on myself for a month or two and now I want that girl.

Can someone help? thanks.
 

Serenity

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Your friends don't know what they're talking about. It doesn't hurt trying, it hurts to regret not trying. This is not your last chance at a relationship, there's other places to find girls than at school.

Go up to her and start a casual conversation. If it goes well, then end the conversation by asking for her number. Use the number within a few days, see what happens and take it from there.
 

jester1x

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Go for it. More than likely, this other guy was waiting for her to be single again. Let this other guy be her rebound.
 

Desdinova

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Anyway, I don't have her number and we really only talk on a hi and bye basis. And I'm feeling bold enough to walk up to her next week and ask for her number.
If you haven't built up any rapport with her yet, you're going to be climbing a very steep hill. I'm not going to tell you to avoid asking for her number, but I will tell you that your chances of success will be greater if you're regularly chatting with her. The best thing you can do is actually say something to her other than hello or goodbye. Comment on something going on in your surroundings and look at her while you do it. She will respond. That is the best way to break the ice and get the both of you talking.
 

brad jarry

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Your friends don't know what they're talking about. It doesn't hurt trying, it hurts to regret not trying. This is not your last chance at a relationship, there's other places to find girls than at school.

Go up to her and start a casual conversation. If it goes well, then end the conversation by asking for her number. Use the number within a few days, see what happens and take it from there.
What if she responds with "I already talk to somebody"? How can I ease my way in there so that I still get her number and we could be friends for the time being?
 

brad jarry

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Go for it. More than likely, this other guy was waiting for her to be single again. Let this other guy be her rebound.
What if she responds with "I already talk to somebody"? How can I ease my way in there so that I still get her number and we could be friends for the time being?
 

brad jarry

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If you haven't built up any rapport with her yet, you're going to be climbing a very steep hill. I'm not going to tell you to avoid asking for her number, but I will tell you that your chances of success will be greater if you're regularly chatting with her. The best thing you can do is actually say something to her other than hello or goodbye. Comment on something going on in your surroundings and look at her while you do it. She will respond. That is the best way to break the ice and get the both of you talking.
What if she responds with "I already talk to somebody"? How can I ease my way in there so that I still get her number and we could be friends for the time being?
 

blind_one

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What if she responds with "I already talk to somebody"? How can I ease my way in there so that I still get her number and we could be friends for the time being?
What if she responds with "I already talk to somebody"? How can I ease my way in there so that I still get her number and we could be friends for the time being?
You haven't yet talked to her but you are already building roadblocks in your mind ....

This is not the mindset you should be employing in that situation or any other for that matter.

Come from a place of power and abundance. Imagine everything going the way you want to be and stop worrying about things you cannot control. Focus on the desired outcome.
 

brad jarry

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You haven't yet talked to her but you are already building roadblocks in your mind ....

This is not the mindset you should be employing in that situation or any other for that matter.

Come from a place of power and abundance. Imagine everything going the way you want to be and stop worrying about things you cannot control. Focus on the desired outcome.
I read somewhere that if you expect the worst, then you'll never be disappointed. I guess because you'll have already prepared yourself for whatever let down is coming your way. What do you think about that?
 

blind_one

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As you think you shall become. If you visualize you might get blown off, well ... they higher the chances you will be.

''worst'' ''prepared''

You are talking as if this was a life and death experience, while its just dating. If that girl is taken and/or doesn't dig you. Well, guess the stars did not align correctly or she simply doesn't know what she is missing out on. No big deal either way.
 

Ratiocinative

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Never worry about what other guys do, and never worry about what she does unless you're in or considering an exclusive relationship.

If she says she's talking to another guy respond with something playful. You could say jokingly "oh that sounds serious, when's the wedding?" or "well there's seven days in a week, I'm only asking you out on one" or "cool, he can keep you busy when you're not with me". Just anything playful that let's her know that if they're not exclusive then it's irrelevant.
 

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What if she responds with "I already talk to somebody"? How can I ease my way in there so that I still get her number and we could be friends for the time being?
Then you either say something witty or you just respect it.

Trust me, you don't want to be friends with a girl you like more than just a friend. You better just move on if she turn you down.
 

Roober

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I read somewhere that if you expect the worst, then you'll never be disappointed. I guess because you'll have already prepared yourself for whatever let down is coming your way. What do you think about that?
I used to believe this and it is the WORST philosophy ever!!! In the words of Bruce Lee....


As you think, so shall you become!



THIS is the mindset you have to have - She wants you, she wants to fvck you, she wants you to hold her, she wants to chase you, she wants to call you, you get my point...
 

devilkingx2

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personally I wouldn't bother, if she has a thing for someone else then you're starting an uphill battle for no real reason (which would make this unnecessarily difficult)

also some people have the mindset that once they have a crush they ignore everything else (which would make talking to her a waste of time)

but we don't know this girl, you do. you'll have to make the judgement call about whether or not the risks outweigh the benefits

I read somewhere that if you expect the worst, then you'll never be disappointed. I guess because you'll have already prepared yourself for whatever let down is coming your way. What do you think about that?
it depends on the person, whatever works for you. some people think positively because thinking negatively demotivates them to do anything and just makes them sad

some people think negatively (like me) because if they don't get their hopes up they don't get crushed

some people live in the moment and don't think about the future

find whatever works best for you.
 

devilkingx2

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This is literally the last girl in my school I would try to get. Everyone else is boring, or in a relationship. And I don't like out of school relationships. Not to mention she's my last chance at a relationship. I'm literally surrounded by couples and feel hella lonely most times. I've been working on myself for a month or two and now I want that girl.
when you run out of options you widen your horizons, which means either go for other grades or go for girls from other schools (or find a hobby or something that'll introduce you to more girls)

also, your goal isn't a relationship, your goal is to get laid. HER goal is probably going to be a relationship if she likes you.

remember, you're bargaining here, if you want to get what you want, don't just give up what the other person wants for free
 

sage'sproduct

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How old are you? If you're in high school, I'd recommend posting in that subforum. Although inner game and lifestyle stuff is the same for a man of any age, some of the older gents here don't recognize or have forgotten how different things work socially in school settings.

Anyway, the answer about what's going on in her mind or her life is: who cares? You can't figure it out, you can't guess it, and even if you could, it doesn't do you any good. No matter what, your action is the same: approach her, flirt, ask her to hang out. Don't get hung up on intermediate objectives like "numbers". Remember: A number is a tool. You can't **** a number, you can't take a number to prom, you can't fall in love with a number.

No one can answer your question of "Is it worth it?" not your friends, not strangers here on the internet. The only way to find out is do. She goes out with you, or she rejects you. Either way, you don't spend the rest of your life wondering what if. Rejection is better than regret.
 

brad jarry

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when you run out of options you widen your horizons, which means either go for other grades or go for girls from other schools (or find a hobby or something that'll introduce you to more girls)

also, your goal isn't a relationship, your goal is to get laid. HER goal is probably going to be a relationship if she likes you.

remember, you're bargaining here, if you want to get what you want, don't just give up what the other person wants for free
Funny you said that because this girl is actually in a different grade. Ran out of options in my grade and then ended up noticing her lol. I'm really not a fan of out of school relationships since you can't really keep track of what they're doing through out the day and what not. I guess I have trust issues.
 

devilkingx2

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I'm really not a fan of out of school relationships since you can't really keep track of what they're doing through out the day and what not. I guess I have trust issues.
any girl who wants to cheat on you will cheat on you, you should only be concerned with not letting the ones who don't want to cheat on you get into the wrong position, and with finding out if they do or not.

either way, chances are your girlfriend isn't smart enough to keep it hidden forever if you're not too gullible and keep an eye out for anything suspicious,

not trusting people for no reason however, is a great way to ruin lots of your personal relationships
 
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