"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Suggestion: Long term relationship forum?
- Thread starter aBAzLLnA
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
djSlvt
Banned
NONE.
Because if you're happily married you won't be here. SS is about good lovers, not good husbands. Mothers raise good husbands.
Aside from that point, if you have basic skill, you should be able to keep a woman satisfied for a long time, IMO.
djSlvt
Banned
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
So many times guys are flamed for looking toward finding a quality woman as opposed to consuming mass quantities of poonani so they stay in the shadows and lurk. It's a catch 22 situation.
Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
Many of the DJ principles apply to LTRs - improve yourself and develop a solid foundation as a man, maintain your pride and confidence and so on. But many of the PUA advice absolutely does not work in LTRs! You cannot be playing mind games and using gimmicks to maintain a relationship.
Despite what the outspoken majority here preach, I believe there are a lot of guys who would ideally prefer a solid relationship, but they just don't know how to keep a woman for the long term. Even the PUA legend Mystery hasn't mastered that! And didn't Neil Strauss' fiance cheat on him?
LTRs are a whole different game, but don't expect a new forum any time soon (or ever!).
I just think there should be some type of community where LTR's are focused upon, and where guys who are seeing recurring problems in their LTR can bring it up and discuss them. As Francisco said, a problem with posting LTR help here in the ss forum is that the mindset is completely different, and little constructive criticism or advice might come out of that.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
example: LTR motivation
LTR frustration
LTR happiness
LTR whatever you can think of
that way we know which ones are about the ltr's before we even click on the thread.
what do you think?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Giovanni Casanova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2002
- Messages
- 5,550
- Reaction score
- 18
- Age
- 47
- Location
- Hiding in Penkitten's Linen Closet
I'm happily married and I'm here, but I get what you're saying. I'm also not here for advice, either.djSlvt said:
After a while casual sex feels empty and juggling different women is tiring.
personally, the occasional meanignless lay is okay, but i'm always looking for that girl i canr eally connect with
luckily i've already found that, and am in a LTR
and wouldn't mind a place to discuss the trials and tribulations that go with it
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
MacAvoy
Banned
Once your over 25, you can post in the MM forum where you'll get quality LTR advice, hence declaring the need for a LTR forum obsolete.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.