Started dating an older women with kids

[sangheilios]

Two days of no contact does not necessarily equate to permanent ghosting.

Sorry, but women are glued to their phones at every waking minute of their life. Also, when she's been texting me every single day and just out of nowhere disappears.....of course it's permanent ghosting lol. Women do this crap for entertainment, as there lives are extremely boring.

 

[sangheilios]

You are only deluding yourself into thinking you are a perfect catch. You need to really take a good hard look in the mirror because this is complete and utter BS. Maybe you can make yourself believe this but that's not going to work with people on this board who know better.

Once again. When YOU claim you are all these things but the women you meet don't see this, then there is a serious disconnect. There is something you are doing that is so offputting to these women that not even all this other stuff you have going for you is enough to overcome it.

This has to be something really, really bad. Neediness, creepiness, social ineptitude, etc...something that turns them off so much that literally no matter what else you have going for you it won't be enough.

You need to stop with the BS feeding youself the same lies and figure out what it is. Because you are going to keep having the same problems until you can take a frank, honest look at yourself and deal with these issues.

A rule of thumb is when you keep having the same issues over and over again with many different women, the issue isnt with them its with you. So either you can take a good hard look at yourself and try and figure out what it is or you can keep pretending its them.

No, it's definitely them. The first date we had on Monday lasted for over 2 hours and it seemed to be going great. She continued to text me all through the week, we go out for a bit again on Friday and poof.....ghosted. If you read the original post I had explained all of this in detail, that she was texting me wanting to spend time with me, etc. etc.

Women don't want men, she probably was just looking for attention/validation and perhaps a free drink. Hell, knowing what I know about the vile nature of most young women today nothing would shock me. They'll put on a fake smile, flirt and lead you on purely for their own gain. They hate men and see us as worthless tools good for nothing more than just likes on instagram.

How the **** would you feel if some slut used you like that?

 

[greatsnake]

Bang her a couple times and peace out. Otherwise, get ready to become 2nd and be ready for a world of hurt when she pulls the rug on you; then monkey branches..

 

[sangheilios]

@LiveYourDream @lamath are yous sensing what I'm sensing? I can sense alot of negativity and self defeating from OP. @sangheilios I'm currently exclusive with a HB9 and we had a argument we are day 10 no contact and I'm doing just fine not being negative etc: you really have to stop this victim mentality otherwise you won't move forward with your dating skills etc: it's all about trial and error. Remember when there are numerous losses there is a win. You were winning until you expressed your annoyance about her ignoring you. Now she views you as weak and you probably won't get a response and she will avoid you like the fuking plague in the gym. Want to know something really harsh? Her and her friends would be sitting back laughing about what she did and your response. When really she should be sitting back 6 months from now with her friend crying and saying how much of a a.s.shole you are and asking the question? Where have all the nice guys gone? Make sense ok? For fuk sake.. this HB9 is posting status about me and telling her friends I'm a a.s.shole she also has a white knight friend constantly telling him about the hell I put her through.

Honestly, I get nothing positive from these *****s except for a false and temporary feeling of satisfaction after these awesome dates. Seriously, I don't think dating is for me because these *****s are detrimental to my mental well being. I feel like I'm delusional and losing my mind, as if these dates and women were just figments of my imagination.

I'm being honest when I say this, I don't think I can deal with anymore of this nonsense because if it keeps happening I can see myself losing control of my anger over this.

 

[sazc]

I'm just tired of this happening constantly, it's so ****ing frustrating. I'm not going to resort to prostitutes, one because I don't want to get arrested and second a great guy like me shouldn't have to stoop that low. Seriously, how is being tall, fit, handsome and respectable not good enough for anyone? I thought having all these great qualities was a blessing, not a detriment to meeting women.

Bigdave?

 

[JayAce]

You can’t let all this hurt your own mental well being. If a woman ghosts after two or three “great” dates... forget her. It sucks I know since you thought the dates went well, but for whatever reason she’s gone now.

Women come and go. It’s not always easy, but you just have to have an abundance mindset. Women aren’t worth losing your mind over. You have to be stronger than that.

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios Being aware of your personal history I was excited that you had engaged a woman and made it out on a date. I thought that was significant, for you and to be congratulated. It was a big deal for you and I thought your posting details about it was as well. I thought you had a lot to be proud of in all of that. I thought you were making progress on your road to improvement.

I assumed you had taken in the advice that had previously been shared in the previous threads and you were now engaging steps forward, to learn and refine, learn and refine. I was excited for that, for you.

Late today, you don't hear back from the woman and suddenly you are posting, in full on victim mode. When you post that you have no idea why you could possibly get the poor response from women that you do, you go off and say you have no idea and it makes no sense, because (like Bigdave), you are so perfect in so many ways. (Like for Bigdave) several posters, myself included, were very specific in why we felt you were getting poor results and what would need to be modified, to change that for you. For you to suddenly post as if you had no idea, simply disounted everyone here that actually took the time to share with you, to help you. I saw frustration posted in one of the last ones from your doing that to them as well.

You can play victim tonight and for the rest of your life. You can start a website with Bigdave for likeminded men. If you want to grow and get results like other men here, then best not dismiss their time and suggestions, as if they were never shared. Best to get humble and realize you are missing some things, whether you like it or not. Whether you think it is fair or not, it is your current and longstanding experience. If you want to change it...than I suggest you make yourself a WILLING student here on SS and follow the advice given. Take the steps and report back. Learn, Act, Refine, Learn, Act, Refine.

If you keep singing your victim anthem, your results will not change. Guaranteed.

I get this may sound harsh and unsympathetic. My intent is only good. You have to be willing to let go of being a victim 100% if you want full on success. The two don't happen together. Choice is yours. Only you can choose to leave victimhood behind.

You can reframe where you are at right now and where this thread is right now and ask for additional feedback and see what you can learn, from your experience.

You can post the timeline and texts for feedback. You can share more about the dates or whatever else is asked of you.

I HIGHLY suggest YOU CHOOSE to make this a thread, and the experience that brought it about an experience that grows you into having the results you truly want, versus a pity me because it appears to you, that you were ghosted yet again.

I've been on other dates before with other women, every single one of them ghosted. Each situation and woman was obviously a little different, but the result was the same.

As I've mentioned before, I've had women go completely out of there way to ask me out on date, just to cancel the date later and disappear out of nowhere. I had not texted anything after they cancelled the date through text except saying something like "No problem, when are you available this week?" and just ghosted lol. Please, do you actually see behavior like that from women as normal?

If it is me, the only real explanation I can think of is that either by really bad luck I seem to attract bat**** crazy women and getting these same results. I'm not completely convinced that this is the case, as I've met all these different women in a variety of settings (gym, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, grocery store, etc. ). They were also a variety of different women as well (race, age, where they grew up, etc.).

Trust me, I'm rational enough to look at each of these different scenarios and have tried to break down what the hell happened and can't figure any of it out. Hell, I've even gone out on dates with women that I really weren't into all that much and even they ghosted lol.

Women have hundreds of options, they could land a great guy like me but are willing to be celibate for a while to potentially find an even better guy.

I could break down each and every one of these experiences I've had but it would be pages worth of material that I wouldn't expect anyone to go through. Some men just aren't seen as datable by women, I guess I'm one of them despite all the great things I have going for me.

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios ok let me break it down for you.
The woman at the gym don't express annoyance that's being emotionally weak. Should of ignored.
The pof dating don't stress I'm a 8 in the looks constantly get hit on. I don't even get replies and I have good game. It's what's in here that counts not on the outside. When you learn so much from here at SS and utilise that in real life plus with disappointment experience. You would butcher and destroy those hoes. Again with POF the girls on there want a man 10 in looks 10 in personality and 10 in finances etc: hell 90 percent of fuking females on there don't even want to date. They want emotional validation!

That's why I don't bother with OLD lol. The feeling I had when I did use OLD was that the women were just looking for pen pals lol, as you said they were just looking for validation with no real intention of going out on a date. Honestly, I haven't used OLD sites in a while but I felt a lot of the profiles on there were fake, meaning someone took a bunch of photos of some random woman and used them to create a profile with.

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios Understand I am not saying that you can't come up with a 1000 point list to justify why you perceive yourself as a victim. I am not saying that at all. I am not saying you have not been treated sh!tty, etc. I am not saying what has happened to you, hasn't. I am not. I am not defending the women that have treated you that way either.

This is not a question of being right. This is not a question of were you a victim.

The question on the table is, are you willing to be done with seeing life through the eyes of a victim??????

Are you willing to take 100% responsibility?????

I get that does not sound fair to the victim in you. I get it! That is exactly why it means you have to be willing to let that go, to let go of being a victim 100%. You can't have it both ways, IMHO.

It means giving up all your justifications and continuing to post about them and instead becoming a willing student. You might be ready for that? You may not?

What I know is that if you truly are willing, like those who have before, the potential for great transformation is here, for you too. There is great support for those willing and who actually take the action suggested. You have a lot going for you. It you have a lot to work with. There is still work to be done. If you can be humble and willing and take the actions suggested...I think you will be amazed at how different your life will be in a year from now.

Saying you want it and then actually choosing it and doing it, day after day, after day, are two VERY different things. Lots of people can say they want to lose weight and get fit. Only few actually do. This is the same. People can cry victim and say they want better. Until you change your diet and put in the work...you'll always be fat.

The whole point is that I'm handling each of these experiences differently from the last and still nothing works and all they do is ghost lol.

I'm being honest when I say this, I genuinely feel that the majority of the issues that I am having with these women has more to do with them and not so much with me. I'm just repeating myself at this point but none of this makes any sense, and I genuinely believe that what I am seeing is just a testament to what young women today are like.

It's frustrating, it's insulting, it's confusing and when I'm doing everything right with no results I can't think of a solution, as there simply isn't one.

I think I'm just meeting women that are looking for validation and possibly free date activities, most I spend is maybe $20 though lol.

 

[sangheilios]

Who cares if its a mother, that facts is insignificant to your current situation.

You are doing something wrong.
A few date with that women and no escalation?

Imo its a confidence/demeanor/ body language issue.

Nah, it's just an issue of meeting another worthless ***** that used me for validation and a free drink.

 

[marmel75]

No, it's definitely them. The first date we had on Monday lasted for over 2 hours and it seemed to be going great. She continued to text me all through the week, we go out for a bit again on Friday and poof.....ghosted. If you read the original post I had explained all of this in detail, that she was texting me wanting to spend time with me, etc. etc.

Women don't want men, she probably was just looking for attention/validation and perhaps a free drink. Hell, knowing what I know about the vile nature of most young women today nothing would shock me. They'll put on a fake smile, flirt and lead you on purely for their own gain. They hate men and see us as worthless tools good for nothing more than just likes on instagram.

How the **** would you feel if some slut used you like that?

You are beyond help. Good luck then.

 

[marmel75]

I've been on other dates before with other women, every single one of them ghosted. Each situation and woman was obviously a little different, but the result was the same.

As I've mentioned before, I've had women go completely out of there way to ask me out on date, just to cancel the date later and disappear out of nowhere. I had not texted anything after they cancelled the date through text except saying something like "No problem, when are you available this week?" and just ghosted lol. Please, do you actually see behavior like that from women as normal?

If it is me, the only real explanation I can think of is that either by really bad luck I seem to attract bat**** crazy women and getting these same results. I'm not completely convinced that this is the case, as I've met all these different women in a variety of settings (gym, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, grocery store, etc. ). They were also a variety of different women as well (race, age, where they grew up, etc.).

Trust me, I'm rational enough to look at each of these different scenarios and have tried to break down what the hell happened and can't figure any of it out. Hell, I've even gone out on dates with women that I really weren't into all that much and even they ghosted lol.

Women have hundreds of options, they could land a great guy like me but are willing to be celibate for a while to potentially find an even better guy.

I could break down each and every one of these experiences I've had but it would be pages worth of material that I wouldn't expect anyone to go through. Some men just aren't seen as datable by women, I guess I'm one of them despite all the great things I have going for me.

Exactly my point. When are you going to wake up? EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM GHOSTED. But yet its nothing you did?

OP are you delusional? Its quite obvious it IS something you are doing and likely the sane thing over and over again since you don't even bother to try and reflect and pinpoint where it started to go wrong.

Well, that is quite obvious to everyone reading this EXCEPT you, the only person who could actually do something about it and change the result.

Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

 

[cola]

I know, that's why I made this post. It's so hard to find anything decent out there that is actually single, with no kids and isn't bat **** crazy.

If I could just date her casually, have fun, have sex but not get involved in drama I'd be cool with that.....but I'm not sure if that is a realistic expectation. I'm not interested in being a replacement for a missing father figure.

Don’t automatically discredit her because she is a single mom. Find out the details. If she was divorced and the guy was honestly a plebeian than she may be a good catch.

If she was just a thot who ended up with two kids via casual sex flings, then abort or make friend with benefits with concrete boundaries.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

@sangheilios damn brother your not listening. Stop talking like a victim and start listening. Do you not see how angry you are getting about these trash females? Your not winning brother. They are. She cancelled a date and you asked when she was free next? Umm your not meant to do that. Just say ok. And wait for a counter offer if no offer is given. Ask again in a week. Without blowing there phone up. If she does it again ignore that sloot and delete her number.. @marmel75 is right. If you ain't going to listen then you are beyond helping. Lots of informative members here who have gone through way worse than your scenario.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

@cola 95% of single moms deserve to be discredited. Unless she was a widow. Classic scenario fell for the bad boy. Got pregnant. And now wants a nice guy fuk that chit. Single moms are grossly irresponsible and there kids will grow up either addicted to drugs or prison inmates. I've seen this before it ain't fuking pretty..And it's not good.to be in the loop with a woman like that. Why pay for another guys sperm? Single moms are the lowest of the low..And they deserve the life they were given for there stupid decisions not the man who has to come along and put up with it.

 

[sangheilios]

Exactly my point. When are you going to wake up? EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM GHOSTED. But yet its nothing you did?

OP are you delusional? Its quite obvious it IS something you are doing and likely the sane thing over and over again since you don't even bother to try and reflect and pinpoint where it started to go wrong.

Well, that is quite obvious to everyone reading this EXCEPT you, the only person who could actually do something about it and change the result.

Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

I'll stick with a few examples: One I actually found a screenshot of, I edited it to take her name out.

1. Last summer I was out with a group of friends. Me and one of the friends went off on our own for a bit and he approached this pair of girls. Anyway, I ended up talking to one of them for over an hour, she was about to graduate with her bachelor's degree in nursing, and before she left she gave me her phone number. I texted her the next morning and she responded very quickly and within a few messages we had made plans to go mini golfing the next evening. We met up there to go mini golfing and have a great time. She was asking me to show her how to putt the ball, so I literally had my arms wrapped around her body whilst swinging the golf club with her, several times throughout the date. Before leaving she hugs me twice and on the second hug she initiated a kiss. We texted a bit over the next few days and she just vanished out of nowhere.

2 (repeat). Last summer I approached a recent regular at my gym. I went up to her when she had finished one of her sets on the roman chair, where you do leg raises, and introduced myself. We ended up talking for about 15 minutes before I let her get back to her workout. I see her there a couple days later, she sees me, waves to me, comes over to talk to me and we were discussing things she liked to do for fun. The topic of hiking came up and I mentioned a place that was near where we both lived that she had never been to, I had described where it was and she said she had no idea it was there. Anyway, she then proceeds to ask me if I'd like to do that with her that evening, so naturally we exchanged numbers. I finished my workout but when I left I saw that she asked if we could do another day, so naturally I asked if tomorrow worked. I didn't hear back from her and tried another time and still nothing. Long story short, it ended up just being a massive case of attention whoring.

I have a few other stories, but those are a few examples.

The picture I attached below is a conversation from when I first got the girl's number from the gym. I sent the first text by saying "Hey, it's xyz from LA fitness" I just edited it out for my own privacy. I had sent that screenshot to one of my friends last summer because he didn't believe me that a girl would ask me out just to ghost, so I sent him the picture of the texts as proof. I still had it on my phone, surprisingly.

 

[cola]

@cola 95% of single moms deserve to be discredited. Unless she was a widow. Classic scenario fell for the bad boy. Got pregnant. And now wants a nice guy fuk that chit. Single moms are grossly irresponsible and there kids will grow up either addicted to drugs or prison inmates. I've seen this before it ain't fuking pretty..And it's not good.to be in the loop with a woman like that. Why pay for another guys sperm? Single moms are the lowest of the low..And they deserve the life they were given for there stupid decisions not the man who has to come along and put up with it.

That’s an assessment from the lower levels of your consciousness. Marriages happen, so do divorces and it would be irrational to say it was always the woman’s fault.
There are bad women just like there are bad men and sometimes no one is bad, they just grew apart and a child was birthed somewhere in between.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

@cola every single mom I've met 13+ it was the baby daddy fault. Stop white knighting

 

[cola]

@cola every single mom I've met 13+ it was the baby daddy fault. Stop white knighting

If you asked 13 “baby daddies” why it didn’t work out they would say it was the moms fault. That’s an unfortunate part of the human condition, quick to point out the folly of others, rarely themselves.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

I'll stick with a few examples: One I actually found a screenshot of, I edited it to take her name out.

1. Last summer I was out with a group of friends. Me and one of the friends went off on our own for a bit and he approached this pair of girls. Anyway, I ended up talking to one of them for over an hour, she was about to graduate with her bachelor's degree in nursing, and before she left she gave me her phone number. I texted her the next morning and she responded very quickly and within a few messages we had made plans to go mini golfing the next evening. We met up there to go mini golfing and have a great time. She was asking me to show her how to putt the ball, so I literally had my arms wrapped around her body whilst swinging the golf club with her, several times throughout the date. Before leaving she hugs me twice and on the second hug she initiated a kiss. We texted a bit over the next few days and she just vanished out of nowhere.

2 (repeat). Last summer I approached a recent regular at my gym. I went up to her when she had finished one of her sets on the roman chair, where you do leg raises, and introduced myself. We ended up talking for about 15 minutes before I let her get back to her workout. I see her there a couple days later, she sees me, waves to me, comes over to talk to me and we were discussing things she liked to do for fun. The topic of hiking came up and I mentioned a place that was near where we both lived that she had never been to, I had described where it was and she said she had no idea it was there. Anyway, she then proceeds to ask me if I'd like to do that with her that evening, so naturally we exchanged numbers. I finished my workout but when I left I saw that she asked if we could do another day, so naturally I asked if tomorrow worked. I didn't hear back from her and tried another time and still nothing. Long story short, it ended up just being a massive case of attention whoring.

I have a few other stories, but those are a few examples.

The picture I attached below is a conversation from when I first got the girl's number from the gym. I sent the first text by saying "Hey, it's xyz from LA fitness" I just edited it out for my own privacy. I had sent that screenshot to one of my friends last summer because he didn't believe me that a girl would ask me out just to ghost, so I sent him the picture of the texts as proof. I still had it on my phone, surprisingly.

@sangheilios Don't offer another date when she says no. How about tommorow is gay! And so is when are we going hiking just stop bro you should of said "ok" and left it at that and never messaged her again. Until she reached out.