Started dating an older women with kids

LiveYourDream

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@sangheilios I sense your frustration. It’s beyond evident. Sometimes people have to hit the wall so to speak before they breakthrough it.

Know that I understand your frustration. I hear it loud and clear. Those who wish to help you feel frustrated too!

Only you can do the next step! Homework...

To be clear, I don’t mean post a bunch of words back that sound good. I mean really, truly, deeply get it and know it, from the inside out. There is a HUGE difference. They are clearly perceptible. If it takes you a week, a month, a year... what matters is you TRULY get it. You’ll know it when you do.

I guarantee you there is a whole world of possibilities, on the other side of that wall.
 
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sangheilios

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@sangheilios I sense your frustration. It’s beyond evident. Sometimes people have to hit the wall so to speak before they breakthrough it.

Know that I understand your frustration. I hear it loud and clear. Those who wish to help you feel frustrated too!

Only you can do the next step! Homework...

I guarantee you there is a whole world of possibilities, on the other side of the wall.
What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.
 

LiveYourDream

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What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.
I am just one of many here. I offer based on what I see. Others may chime in and offer you another perspective that can lead you through, in a different way.

Take a break if you wish. Stepping away from an issue can sometimes offer greater perspective when you return to it. You may see it different then. Do what is ultimately best for you!

I don’t buy that anyone is destined to be alone for life. We are far more interconnected, in my perception. Perhaps your intuition was that your journey would be off the common path and led from the inside rather than the outside? That I can see. That is different than a life lived alone.

Take care of yourself.
 

corrector

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I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not programmed to give up lol, but logically I realize that this continuous pattern with the women here is not healthy for me. It makes me want to punch a wall or dig out my eyeballs with spoons, that's how angry and frustrating these experiences I have are.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that I'm trying to piece together some common denominators. The locations where I meet these women are all vastly different (gym, grocery store, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, bank, etc.). The women themselves on an individual level are different but the one thing that they do have in common is the fact that they live where I am and grew up here, though their backgrounds were all a bit different.

Another poster mentioned it might be my area and the women that populate it, this is the only logical conclusion I can come up with. Again, they are the ones behaving psychotically, not me, so that's where the problem lies.
Did this happen more than three times in a row? Anything less than three consecutive times you can attribute to chance and next one lucky.
 

mrgoodstuff

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What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.
Losing strategy. You already identified that you socialize better with high iq types. That you bore "normal" people and "normal" people bore you. Maybe you could take a class or classes on socializing. Its all part of the game.
 

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corrector

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Still an interesting case study. Everytime I see posters coming here with decent looks, and have their life together and still can't get any girls, even bottom feeders, shatters the belief that if you look a certain way, or have certain things in order in your life, that it would be easier to get a proper (or any +5hb girlfriend). It almost makes more sense never to have a mentality of getting into this when the rest of your life is in order, but to invest in practicing game or chasing women, no matter where you are in life.

Isn't allot of emphasis on self-improvement here and LMS, really a re-packaged blue-pill/beta-bux thing after all? This thread for example sounds very blue-pill in the sense of having your life in order and looking right -- following the rules -- and still not landing a girlfriend. You just don't expect to be incel with blue-pill, maybe an AFC but not that extreme. Guess times must have really changed that there are more incels then AFCs.
 

sangheilios

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Losing strategy. You already identified that you socialize better with high iq types. That you bore "normal" people and "normal" people bore you. Maybe you could take a class or classes on socializing. Its all part of the game.
I don't know if I bore them but I definitely don't have much in common with most people and have a hard time relating to them, I'm referring to this in a general sense and not specifically with women.

I don't know if I need to take a class, but I do regularly speak to a large variety of people.....but as I said I don't really have that much in common with them. I just show a genuine interest in them as individuals but beyond that there isn't much there to work with.

That's why I do mention on here repeatedly that I have friends and have a life, as I think most people read my posts and assume I just play computer games all day and don't socialize at all.
 

sangheilios

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Still an interesting case study. Everytime I see posters coming here with decent looks, and have their life together and still can't get any girls, even bottom feeders, shatters the belief that if you look a certain way, or have certain things in order in your life, that it would be easier to get a proper (or any +5hb girlfriend). It almost makes more sense never to have a mentality of getting into this when the rest of your life is in order, but to invest in practicing game or chasing women, no matter where you are in life.

Isn't allot of emphasis on self-improvement here and LMS, really a re-packaged blue-pill/beta-bux thing after all? This thread for example sounds very blue-pill in the sense of having your life in order and looking right -- following the rules -- and still not landing a girlfriend. You just don't expect to be incel with blue-pill, maybe an AFC but not that extreme. Guess times must have really changed that there are more incels then AFCs.
That's why I repeatedly mention on here about what my life is like and the fact that I am normal, have friends and all that lol. Any person reading these posts would assume I'm short, fat, ugly, weird and just play video games all day.

I don't do what I do to get women, though I think we all subconsciously do these things in order to acquire them.

Seriously, I'm 6'4" and fit.....not many guys can say they have that going for them lol.
 

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corrector

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I don't know if I need to take a class, but I do regularly speak to a large variety of people.....but as I said I don't really have that much in common with them. I just show a genuine interest in them as individuals but beyond that there isn't much there to work with.

That's why I do mention on here repeatedly that I have friends and have a life, as I think most people read my posts and assume I just play computer games all day and don't socialize at all.
I think this board has just got too blue-pill. They assume that if you build they will come (i.e. have a proper job, have a good social life, hit the GYM), etc...but I don't see how that's different from blue-pill think. The other spectrum is you can be an absolute loser in life and a loner, but if you magically do game, you can't attract an hb10 or something like that, and that's supposed to be red-pill. Obviously blue-pill is not working even on an AFC level and people are saying red-pill doesn't work either because technology (i.e. women's access to the smartphone and Tinder and hypergamy) has obliterated that too.
 

corrector

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That's why I repeatedly mention on here about what my life is like and the fact that I am normal, have friends and all that lol. Any person reading these posts would assume I'm short, fat, ugly, weird and just play video games all day.

I don't do what I do to get women, though I think we all subconsciously do these things in order to acquire them.

Seriously, I'm 6'4" and fit.....not many guys can say they have that going for them lol.
Don't see anything wrong with the pics (no homo) and don't see looks as a reason for not landing a girlfriend unless something was hideously wrong with your face. This is the only thing that is not clear. Please post an enlarged face shot.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don't know if I bore them but I definitely don't have much in common with most people and have a hard time relating to them, I'm referring to this in a general sense and not specifically with women.

I don't know if I need to take a class, but I do regularly speak to a large variety of people.....but as I said I don't really have that much in common with them. I just show a genuine interest in them as individuals but beyond that there isn't much there to work with.

That's why I do mention on here repeatedly that I have friends and have a life, as I think most people read my posts and assume I just play computer games all day and don't socialize at all.
Maybe there are some listening skills which will help. Your not the only person whose felt that way. Im sure someone has felt like you and made the necessary adjustments to be user friendly with a broader audience.
 

corrector

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First one is an older picture from when I got home from being in the hospital for a week, second one is recent when I was using my laptop.
Do not see anything wrong with the face-pics either. So you tried Tinder and didn't get any matches?
 

sangheilios

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Do not see anything wrong with the face-pics either. So you tried Tinder and didn't get any matches?
Yeah, a few different times but not recently though. One time I restarted the app and swiped right on everything, all I got matched with was 3s and below, it was seriously shocking. The ones that I did match with acted super entitled, as if they were better than me.

Women just don't find me attractive, so I'm not going to bother anymore. As I said, it isn't good for my mental health knowing that nothing I ever do will be good enough....so avoiding reminders of this by not dealing with women will be for the better.
 

billtx49

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Women just don't find me attractive, so I'm not going to bother anymore. As I said, it isn't good for my mental health knowing that nothing I ever do will be good enough....so avoiding reminders of this by not dealing with women will be for the better.
Yep, time for some monk mode and inner soul searching for you bro…
 

sangheilios

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Yep, time for some monk mode and inner soul searching for you bro…
Nothing wrong with me, all I do know is that nothing I do will be good enough for them. I can keep trying and continue to get nothing as my mental health deteriorates or I can show myself some self respect by avoiding the source of these issues, which is the women themselves.

There is a reason why so many men are MGTOW. I used to believe it was only ugly losers who fell into this category, but seeing how much I struggle with this as an above average guy my perspective on this has changed.

If a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit, handsome, educated and respectable good man like me isn't enough for these women nothing ever will be. Hell, not that it matters but I even have a big penis lol. These *****s don't deserve a man like me, their loss lol.
 
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billtx49

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Nothing wrong with me, all I do know is that nothing I do will be good enough for them. I can keep trying and continue to get nothing as my mental health deteriorates or I can show myself some self respect by avoiding the source of these issues, which is the women themselves.

There is a reason why so many men are MGTOW. I used to believe it was only ugly losers who fell into this category, but seeing how much I struggle with this as an above average guy my perspective on this has changed.

If a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit, handsome, educated and respectable good man like me isn't enough for these women nothing ever will be. Hell, not that it matters but I even have a big penis lol. These *****s don't deserve a man like me, their loss lol.
A MGTOW board may be a better fit for you then…
Like minds type action and advice over there…
 

mrgoodstuff

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Nothing wrong with me, all I do know is that nothing I do will be good enough for them. I can keep trying and continue to get nothing as my mental health deteriorates or I can show myself some self respect by avoiding the source of these issues, which is the women themselves.

There is a reason why so many men are MGTOW. I used to believe it was only ugly losers who fell into this category, but seeing how much I struggle with this as an above average guy my perspective on this has changed.

If a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit, handsome, educated and respectable good man like me isn't enough for these women nothing ever will be. Hell, not that it matters but I even have a big penis lol. These *****s don't deserve a man like me, their loss lol.
They dont care about all that. Are you something juicy to gossip about on their grapevine?
 

niceguytoalphamale

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Example
A few months ago I went in a few dates with a local pediatrician. In the end I felt he was gruff, brash and judgemental so I let things die. Recently I found myself in a bind for some anti nausea medication for my kids (anti car sick) so I reached out to him to see if the expired stuff I had would be okay. He offered to write me a new script. I was grateful, offered to take him to dinner, he said "yes!". Figured I would see if things maybe could work.

I have been reaching out over text for the past few days, initiating over random topics, just trying to get casual conversation/contact going. Hoping (once again) to connect.

Guess what? He's been gruff, brash and judgemental. I'm thinking he doesn't realize how he comes across over text, OR he is "IDGAF, this is who I am".

I now find myself wondering WHY I want to spend any time with him. Seems like it would be more enjoyable, less stressful, to stay home alone. It's not the $ I would spend on dinner, it's the idea that I'm going to spend time with someone who's company isn't enjoyable.

I initiated, proposed a date and, because if the way he comes off, am considering ghosting.

Beware the text and verbal game
Power struggle lol
 
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niceguytoalphamale

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UR in a 'monogamous relationship' and on 10+ days of no contact because you had a disagreement?

A) that's NOT a relationship, that's two egos fighting for the sole place of superiority. You've already lost any hope of leading and/or alpha male status.

B) by now she doesn't consider herself in a relationship. She's entertaining any other dude who swings her way.
@sazc we have already done the alpha male stuff. I'm just a a.s.s.hole lol she's the one posting loads of status about me and I just sit back and wait for her to come back then I repeat the whole thing again. What can I say? I guess I am a c.u.n.t.
 

Robert28

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I hear you. There is NO reason you can't date her . She might be an awesome woman.

A warning before you get in too deep, single mothers/divorced mothers come with complications and you will NEVER be priority one. Just keep that in mind.

Make sure you keep your own circle of friends and hobbies/interests, and from experience? Don't go out of your way to spend time with her......make sure she comes to you mostly. The reason is, with kids, she will have lots of other obligations, and the more you push for her time, the more you will be a stressor in her life, not an escape.

I wouldn't rush to become exclusive either.
Excellent advice! Things were going well with this one single mom I was seeing a couple years ago and she started pushing the “I can see this going somewhere long term” hinting around at a relationship. I ignored it the first 3 attempts she made to “have the talk” but the 4th attempt I had to come up with an answer. Basically I just said “look, we don’t habe to label what we are, let’s just keep enjoying each other’s company and take things as they come”. She liked that response and she admitted she started pushing for a relationship because she’d had so many guys that pushed HER for one, she wasn’t used to a guy like me who still didn’t bring up the R word after 4 months.lol
 
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