Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Agreed. Just this last weekend I had a date with a chick who flaked on me two months earlier and whom I had left on the backburner since. If I had deleted her I wouldn't have had such a fun afternoon with her and apparently I did well enough that a couple days later she started initiating contact instead. Just because she's not beating down your door right now doesn't mean that she won't in the future.Espi said:I never delete numbers.
Go cold on her until next friday. Not this friday but the following friday. Send a brief text letting her know that you'll be at ____ saturday night at ___ pm. Wanna join me for a drink?
If no response, keep the number and co cold for several weeks then send out another text along with any other women who have flaked in the past ("group text"). "Plans tonight?" Is all you need text. Occasionally you'll get 1 or 2 women that will respond.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.