"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Side Action

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highSpeed

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looking for advice, how would you guys go about side action?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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highSpeed

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Can we assume that you’re in a monogamous relationship? And if so, are you married?

-Augustus-
I guess for purposes of labeling, you could say it's monogamous but honestly, there's not much monogamy going on. And yes, I'm married.
 

RickTheToad

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looking for advice, how would you guys go about side action?
Unwise. This can cost you plenty if she finds out. If you need some pus, you an always "hire" an escort. Just use the normal precautions. Burner cell phone, cash only, fake name, etc.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Augustus_McCrae

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I guess for purposes of labeling, you could say it's monogamous but honestly, there's not much monogamy going on. And yes, I'm married.
If it’s a short term marriage with no kids why not just divorce?

If it’s a long-term marriage and children are involved, my advice would be to not go there. However if you’re compelled, be smart about it. Get a burner phone thats untraceable. Do what you can to make sure that you won’t be seen by anyone. And by all means , Keep your mouth shut and never tell anyone about it.

-Augustus-
 

Tdawg

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This nice young tight thing in the gym approached me the other day and my god...I was/am really tempted. But I know I'd do something stupid like text the wrong person (my wife), forget to erase calls and voicemails, forget to hide my phone, etc. I've pondered it from time to time, but came to the conclusion that there's too much work in having a side piece that it makes it not worth it. Life would be very much more complicated and who needs that crap?

Now, if my wife was a piece of crap like my ex, I would do it in a heart beat. But my wife is like my angel that came and rescued me so can't **** it up and I have three kids I adore.

When I was travelling a lot though and in different cities it was all good. It caught up to me though and wife eventually found out. It was not a good time in our marriage and thinking back, I kind of wish I didn't do it, but it's been over 10 years so whatever. Some secrets though i'll take to my grave.
 

lamath

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Im a very loyal guy never cheated.
However imo when wife is not respecting you + no sex.
I say go for it


Would do what Rick says.

Also i would make my social media account as private as possible and make a new one specialy for side action, would also try to have side action as far from home as possible, when on buisness trip if possible.
 

highSpeed

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If it’s a short term marriage with no kids why not just divorce?

If it’s a long-term marriage and children are involved, my advice would be to not go there. However if you’re compelled, be smart about it. Get a burner phone thats untraceable. Do what you can to make sure that you won’t be seen by anyone. And by all means , Keep your mouth shut and never tell anyone about it.

-Augustus-
If only it was short term, I'd have spun out of there a long time ago. I'm simply tired of the little to no sex and starfish. While paying for it seems a big repugnant to me, for a high end escort who does what you want and leaves, it's better than the alternative, which is regretting not using my time when I had it.
 

Young OG

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If only it was short term, I'd have spun out of there a long time ago. I'm simply tired of the little to no sex and starfish. While paying for it seems a big repugnant to me, for a high end escort who does what you want and leaves, it's better than the alternative, which is regretting not using my time when I had it.
If your not getting much sex then I would say that's enough of a reason to cheat right there. A woman is supposed to please her man and it doesn't sound like your woman is pleasing you.

I've never been married but I have had a side chick before. It can be a lot of work. I was always making sure my phone was on silent when I was with one of them, had to make sure call logs/texts were deleted, and I would block the girl I wasn't with when I was with the other. There were plenty of times where I would have sex with both girls in the same day. It just got to be to much and I let the side girl go.

If your going to do this, then get a burner phone. Keep it to short flings with girls or escorts might be your best bet if your fine with paying (check out seekingarrangement.com). The longer you see the same girl on the side, the harder it becomes, and the more likely you will get caught.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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RickTheToad

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If only it was short term, I'd have spun out of there a long time ago. I'm simply tired of the little to no sex and starfish. While paying for it seems a big repugnant to me, for a high end escort who does what you want and leaves, it's better than the alternative, which is regretting not using my time when I had it.
Dude, you do not pay her for sex. You pay her to leave.
 

Machine10033

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If your married or in a committed relationship make sure you can handle the worst case scenario of getting found out. I personally am not a fan of side action when in a committed relationship. If she’s actually a decent girl and not cheating on you.... why risk it? If she’s cheating and you want to cheat just end it. I am not a fan of unneeded stress... if your thinking about cheating just end it
 

GT40

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Not with women from work.
Tell nobody. NOBODY
Delete everything always. Calls texts.
Be careful dude. Very careful.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Epic Days

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When a woman lays on her back
Arms and legs spread and she doesn’t move. Boring to say the least
Ah yes. I understand now. I call that holding sex or rationing sex within the context of a relationship.
 

sazc

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@highSpeed have you determined why there is little to no sex and why active participation also minimal?

i.e. have you communicated your distaste, dis pleasure and lack of satisfaction and understand why she's not interested and invested?
 

Spaz

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I don't advocate cheating, however ur case is unique, marriage in name only.

And you're tried everything for years, at least going by ur postings.

Once a women has lost complete respect for her husband there's little to go back to.

I remembered one of the mods here (@Desdinova i think) has a guidance booklet of some sort involving having a side dish.

PM him for it.

A man like you deserves some happiness and some kindness in ur life.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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