Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah...I'm not sure if I want to be seen with her. You mean invite her over without going out anywhere?thatfeel said:It sounds like you don't want to be seen with her. Just invite her back to your place if you can. You'd be surprised how easily it works on the meh-tier chicks.
Precisely.teddy said:Yeah...I'm not sure if I want to be seen with her. You mean invite her over without going out anywhere?
Meatier/meh-tier. I see what you did there...lolYou'd be surprised how easily it works on the meh-tier chicks.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Albatross953 said:There used to be a tip section thread that led over to adarkheart.com it talked about why when you are working on yourself lesser quality women are attracted and why you should stay away.
It really helped me, I wish I could find it.
Is it better to SPEND YOUR TIME AND MONEY, IN ADDITION TO GIVING YOUR ATTENTION TO A WOMEN YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO if you're in a dry spell? Or is better to SPEND YOUR TIME AND MONEY, IN ADDITION TO GIVING YOUR ATTENTION TO WOMEN YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO so that you become used to it.teddy said:If you're in a dry spell or need practice. Or is it better to just go on dates with women you're attracted to so that you become used to it?
Yeah but maybe if you're not spitting good game at the chicks you are into then you're doing something wrong. You cannot expect to just roll up to a girl you're interested in if you've barely hit on a girl your whole life, you will get shot down and your confidence will go down. Ideally, you dont want to have to date some girls you're not into but I reckon most of the guys who have gotten really good have had to go through that period of dating girls they would not touch today.JoeMarron said:It sounds like a waste of time to me. Anyone can spit a good game to chicks they aren't attracted to. You need to be able to perform when your nerves are active and that'll only happen with a chick you're attracted to.
No, but thanks for looking pyro.pyros said:you meant this?:
http://www.adarkheart.com/2012/11/13/leagues-exist/
Well, for right now, I have an unattractive woman willing to go on a date with me.Maximus Rex said:Is it better to SPEND YOUR TIME AND MONEY, IN ADDITION TO GIVING YOUR ATTENTION TO A WOMEN YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO if you're in a dry spell? Or is better to SPEND YOUR TIME AND MONEY, IN ADDITION TO GIVING YOUR ATTENTION TO WOMEN YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO so that you become used to it.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.