She paid for hotel rooms to see me, then 4 years of silence. Now she's back.

[BillyPilgrim]

Hot take: why do we care?

Bc this thread has gone on too long lol

 

[quentin]

A message to everyone who replied: Thank you so much for your responses. As I told you, I was just looking to chat and share thoughts with you I don’t really care what happens next;

It's just a girl who doesn’t know what she wants.

I’m so happy to have heard from you all. I’ll write to you again for more adventures

See you soon

 

[Cheeky_James]

Hey everyone,

I've been reading this forum for a while, and it helped me a lot at certain points in my life. Today it's my turn to share a story, because I need some outside perspective.

Let me say this upfront: I've got the situation under control and I'm clear-headed about it. I'm not getting ahead of myself and I'm not trying to win her back. I just want to understand what's going on in her head, and above all hear from the veterans here who've been through something similar.

The background

Let's call her Teresa. A very charming woman. I met her at a professional training program that ran for several weeks. We got to know each other, went out with the group, nothing special.

One night, she drank way too much. I offered to walk her back, no ulterior motive: as far as I was concerned, I had no chance with her. We ended up in my hotel room, and I told her it was just so she could sleep somewhere safe. She tried to sleep with me 3 or 4 times. I said no every time, she wasn't in a state to decide. Nothing happened that night.

What happened next

The weeks went by, the training continued… and what was bound to happen, happened. We slept together. Then again. And again. She even paid for hotel rooms herself so we could spend more time together. Important detail: she was in a relationship the whole time.

When the program ended, we called each other often and talked about meeting up. But when it came time to choose, she never took the step. No clear answer, and I got fed up with the ambiguity. In the end, she stayed with her boyfriend.

Where things stand now

It's been 4 years. 4 years without a single message or call. We both moved on with our lives.

And now she's reached out. When I asked her why now, she said she came across one of my YouTube videos and it made her want to get back in touch.

We've talked a bit since then. As it happens, I'll be passing through the city where she lives soon, so I asked her straight out: "Come on, let's grab a drink." I plan to go.

I'm not expecting anything in particular. Whatever happens, happens. I don't have an opinion on it either way.

What I'd like to understand

She has everything: security, a boyfriend who seems like a decent guy, a stable life. That was true 4 years ago, and it's still true today. Back then, she still went looking for an affair on the side before choosing stability.

And today, with all of that, she's coming back anyway.

That's the thought process I'd like to understand. How do you read all this, those of you with more experience?

I know my post is vague on some points. Ask me anything and I'll answer. The goal is to talk it through and learn from your experiences, not to judge.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time.

what’s with the photo of gigaChad? I don’t get it.
Anyway, she cheated with you.
4 years later she has the itch and wants to do it again.
(Probably she remembered it was good s@x w you)

Either take up the offer or leave it. Up to you.
Don’t bother trying to get inside her head dude!

as someone famously said
“never try to understand women.
Women understand other Women -
…And they all hate each other”

A classic quote.
Funny-cos-it’s-true stuff .

 

[Ricky]

This stuff just happens. Women from my past call me from time to time… i know it means they want something, excitement, sex or worse… money. They won’t be direct for what they are after about any of them until they are sure they can get it from you because for for the most part the average woman hates rejection even more than we do

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A message to everyone who replied: Thank you so much for your responses. As I told you, I was just looking to chat and share thoughts with you I don’t really care what happens next;

It's just a girl who doesn’t know what she wants.

I’m so happy to have heard from you all. I’ll write to you again for more adventures

See you soon

She knows what she wants. To have an escape from her situation she is in and the boredom she feels with her current boyfriend.

 

[quentin]

She sent me a message: "You know, Quentin, it took me a long time to get over you. I fought a thousand times not to text you. I forced myself to delete your messages before reading them so I wouldn't be able to reply, and I thought way too often about what might have become of us…
I just wanted to tell you that."

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

I guess that's not a bad thing. I'd take it as a compliment and move on from it. Remember the fun times you had and look for that kind of stuff in the next lady!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She sent me a message: "You know, Quentin, it took me a long time to get over you. I fought a thousand times not to text you. I forced myself to delete your messages before reading them so I wouldn't be able to reply, and I thought way too often about what might have become of us…
I just wanted to tell you that."

This is where you reply "you know, Teresa, I still think about you as well and many times when I do it makes things hard" and send a pic of yer c0ck underheath a towel or something softcore. Nothing too explicit, but enough to set the tone and get her juices flowing.

 

[quentin]

This is where you reply "you know, Teresa, I still think about you as well and many times when I do it makes things hard" and send a pic of yer c0ck underheath a towel or something softcore. Nothing too explicit, but enough to set the tone and get her juices flowing.

I did something similar, because she told me she was thinking about the night we spent together. I'm just kidding, but I really want to see her again, ahh

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Why do i feel like this is a chick who is a bit empty, she might have everything on paper but if her man isn't leading with purpose/direction and just with stability, you might just have two empty/fragmented individuals. This is a common symptom of America's cultural/spiritual decline, people get with eachother for stability/comfort but often lose touch with deeper meaning in their lives. I've noticed a lot of American women have this kind of empty look in their eyes like they're just going through the motions. People in that type of state are more likely to cheat. What anchor would they have beyond it?

P.s. Dont get me wrong, this isn't a purely American phenomenon. It can happen in any culture facing similar issues but I happened to notice it over there quite a bit is my point.