"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She’s accepted her ex’s friend request. Is this a reason to be worried?
- Thread starter Barbu
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Why does it matter to you that I'm just friends with her? What is it to you?
She’s JUST a friend. My romantic interest lies with another woman.
It’s astonishing to hear that having a platonic female friend is foreign to people on this site.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
yes shes heavily invested in him, he probably deemed her unworthy, possibly rampant in the bedroom. shes wondering if hes met better looking women
this is why you never be a womans crutch, she will sit with you for 4 hours telling you all her woes, then the guy she apparently hates, will leave her face looking like a decorators radio that night.....and you will be like "WTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFF"
metalwater
Master Don Juan
the universe is infinite.. so anything is possible. for a single girl is it not uncommon that a platonic male friend gets promoted to lover. for a married girl is it not uncommon that a platonic male friend gets promoted to lover. if the two find each other attractive at all, and they probably do else would not become friends. usually ppl avoid others that they perceive as not attractive unless having some other motivation such as business or religion and so on...
so. it is not a foreign idea, but one that many have experience with and have found to be a never-ending slippery slope.
if the girl NEEDS or WANTS to interact at anytime with another man for any reason other than necessary business instead of an available boyfriend or husband that means she is on SOME level not satisfied and ALSO not dedicated to the man she claims to be with. I have occasionally seen or hear of women who keep a long time MAN friend to advise on life or other platonic issues. So long as she continues to do this she is hedging against whoever she is trying to partner with at the time. In short it means she is not satisfied with her current choice and this is self sabotage as the man will feel it even if he doesn't know what or why. can not submit at the same time going to another man for advise.
opinions will vary on this.
for your friend, if girl is willing to re-connect with ex, he should start being available to other options. if he has none, then he should get some. direct him to this forum for lots of ideas on how to do that.
He told her why he did it, which I assume would have given her some closure?
He obviously wants her back since he’s told her he still loves her, unless he’s playing games with her again.
This fed her ego. This gave her brain endorphins if joy and now she is feeling validated. The dumper has come crawling back. She holds the power.
Does she have unresolved feelings. Yes.
Should she have accepted his friend request? Who cares. Maybe she wants to rekindle an old flame. Maybe she wants her ex to see she is with new guy (you) and to get validation from that.
Who knows. She probably doesn't either. Here is the problem :
Your hamster wheel is spinning.
Let her concentrate on the relationship. You concentrate on facking her. If you see she is letting him back in you dump her without any discussion and go date other women.
You say you dont want to be hurt like the last time, if she has done this before then you already know you have a poor quality woman and you terminate it immediately
Worrying over the relationship and riding the drama bus is feminine. Be the man in the relationship.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This is just a friend? My misunderstanding. I thought she was your girlfriend.
She needs to learn from her own mistakes. Girls will not listen to their friendzoned guys (willing or unwilling friendzoned) if they tell them to stay away.
Sometimes you just have to stand back and watch them get burnt. Sometimes twice.
As much as I pains me, you probably right that I have to stand back.
I havent actually suggested anything to her, just been listening to her when she told me he sent the apology and the friend request.
She took her time to accept his request, which made me think she was considering it.
bcude
Master Don Juan
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I'm not judging this, just observing something and feel like zekko in the process.
As much as we promote avoiding the dreaded friendzone with women (for a friend she sees, a friend you'll be - Pook), in the next sentence we say and experience how easily friends can become lovers. Can they really be true at the same time?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I’m a troll?
Come on man, I’m being serious. I’ve already said that I’m interested in another girl, but dating is pretty much impossible right now.
Ok I'll bite assuming you're not a troll
I think you're in love with this girl
I think you've played the nice friend route for years and it has failed
I think you're afraid that alpha badboy is going to fvck her (and he will)
And I think you're enraged about it. Welcome to the redpill
I’m NOT in love with her. I love her as a friend, and that’s that.
So you think there’s a chance that she’s going back to him?
shes gonna sit with you for 3 hours , and tell you what an abusive Coke head he is.
then shes gonna take a selfie of you both in the bar, with the word "friend" in the status so your balls stay in her purse.
then this other guy is gonna give her some Big d1ck energy.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
I believe exactly as I wrote. friend zone is flexible. PPL are changing all the time, direct esculation from friend zone might give mixed results.. when girl promotes from friend zone to FWB or lover it usually will be clear. if in enough friend zones we could call that a social circle of itself. as self value increased due to life actions likely some promotions will occur at some point. I have no issues with this when it is with singles. it is one of the ways ppl hook up.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.