Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Serious problem (external events effect me too much)

RestUnknown

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Last week I realized something. My mood depends a lot on external events around me. The best way to explain is:

when I see a guy talking to a girl I'm only even partially interested in, I feel down. When that same girl talks to me I feel great, when that girl doesn't talk to that guy, I feel great. When that same girl doesn't talk to anyone, I feel better as well. You see where this is going. But this goes as far (albeit less) as other people talking to others and not to me. This also goes with my friends, every night is different of course, some nights everyone is in a good mood and I am as well, if they're off I am as well.

I honestly need to know what this sh*t is, I need to know how to just feel good about myself every single moment and not be effected by outside events. I need to know why I act this way. I know this is not healthy, but this effecting me in such a way that it has the possibility to, and already has, screw up a lot of things.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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I need to know how to just feel good about myself every single moment
I think you have a valid issue that you need to work on, probably by getting more experience.

But this whole concept of "I have to feel good myself all the time" or "I have to feel like I'm the top dog alpha #1 most handsome HM10 in the room at all times" is very overrated and impractical. The manosphere and PUA theory seems to tell you to feel this way. It all seems very millenial, like how everybody has to get a participation trophy and there can't be any winners or losers because someone might feel bad.

If you always feel good about yourself, how are you supposed to ever recognize your faults and weaknesses, and work on them? Humility is a highly underrated characteristic, especially in the seduction community. You need to at least have a certain baseline self esteem though. That's why they say to destroy your ego. It's okay to recognize that you're not perfect, and that it's okay to fail.
 

tony.shai

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You gotta work on yourself more in terms of not caring. I have the same problem too, try to be more outcome independent. For example, how I flip the script with the situation you described is I'd imagine this girl is a slut, and I'm not losing anything, so I feel chill. Reframe it.
 

Billtx49

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A man’s moods and confidence level can naturally vary throughout a day, week, or month, but letting outside events by others affect how you feel, that’s women’s territory. Totally reactionary. Don’t crowd their space and go build some confidence …
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DEEZEDBRAH

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Last week I realized something. My mood depends a lot on external events around me. The best way to explain is:

when I see a guy talking to a girl I'm only even partially interested in, I feel down. When that same girl talks to me I feel great, when that girl doesn't talk to that guy, I feel great. When that same girl doesn't talk to anyone, I feel better as well. You see where this is going. But this goes as far (albeit less) as other people talking to others and not to me. This also goes with my friends, every night is different of course, some nights everyone is in a good mood and I am as well, if they're off I am as well.

I honestly need to know what this sh*t is, I need to know how to just feel good about myself every single moment and not be effected by outside events. I need to know why I act this way. I know this is not healthy, but this effecting me in such a way that it has the possibility to, and already has, screw up a lot of things.
Get testosterone checked.

You sound depressed but it could be early or late stages of low testosterone.

Rsdnation lads use to bump state. Its epic to approach when in state but moreover, you want to smash and approach regardless.
 

RestUnknown

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Testosterone might be a problem, been on a nofap for over a week now and I feel better. Still sucks way too hard to see her talking and laughing with that guy even though she's been texting me practically every day for the last week and a half, but I can't get myself (nor can she apparantly) to talk to her in real life (bear in mind that due to logistics it's very difficult nonetheless but too long to explain).

Are there any proven natural things that increase testosterone noticeably? I don't mean bullsh*t stuff like meditate or something like that. I lift heavy already and my showers end with the coldest water possible, but doesn't seem to do any major effect.
 
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