Second date tonight, should I be clear about my intentions?

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

I suspect this is just old blue pill conditioning kicking in but I have a second date tonight with woman that I've known for a while. We got together for a drink the other night and ended up kissing but nothing else happened. We're hanging out again tonight and I'm wondering if I should be clear that I'm keeping things pretty casual with dating right now, or if I should just air on the side of keeping my mouth shut and letting her do most of talking. I tend to really overthink things and want to really over communicate and go out of my way to make sure there's no pressure on her and all that stuff, that's why I think I've got blue pill stuff kicking in.

Basically, I'm just trying to practice, my dudes, and could use your guidance.

 

[member160292]

Keep it casual, don't do anything that isn't congruent with what you've been doing. I know emotions get kicked in, try to subdue them. You got this, my man!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Has there been any sexual tension between you and this woman to this point?

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

Has there been any sexual tension between you and this woman to this point?

There was when we hung out the other night.

 

[Billtx49]

Let her talk and listen to her, she Will let you know where thing’s currently stand with her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You don't need to say anything. I literally have never brought up that subject with a woman ever, why do you feel the need to do so? For what purpose and what is the goal in doing so?

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

I pretty new to this too but, when you were kissing each other did you try to escalate further?

I did a little but I didn't push too hard. I think she may have let me go further than I did had I pushed.

What does this mean? You were "friends"? Were you an orbiter of her waiting to get a chance while she was getting free attention from you? Did you notice she flirting with you in the past? Women already have you in a category, lover or friend, so I would say try to escalate further and see how she reacts.

No nothing like that. We worked together several years ago and recently got back in touch. Like I messaged her to say hi and ask her if she wanted to get a drink.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Instead of verbalizing, just go in for a kiss.

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

You don't need to say anything. I literally have never brought up that subject with a woman ever, why do you feel the need to do so? For what purpose and what is the goal in doing so?

To be a "nice guy." But maybe also to try and buffer myself against rejection. I'm really trying to be aware of old blue pill and impulses.

 

[EyeBRollin]

To be a "nice guy." But maybe also to try and buffer myself against rejection. I'm really trying to be aware of old blue pill and impulses.

Guys who bang a lot of chicks get rejected all the time. Stop worrying about rejection.

 

[Kotaix]

The less you say, the better. Women don't want to have anything explained or described to them, you're supposed to just get it.

You tell her you're attracted with looks and body language.

Stop thinking about things and enjoy your time with her, and if you don't enjoy your time with her, leave.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

girls know your intentions, they've been on more dates than you have! no need to verbalise things

 

[BackInTheGame78]

To be a "nice guy." But maybe also to try and buffer myself against rejection. I'm really trying to be aware of old blue pill and impulses.

If you are worried about rejection you simply haven't been rejected enough to not care anymore.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@Whydomyeyeshurt
As others have said, meta relationship conversation is a mood killer unless you already know her answer to whatever you want to bring up. Let your actions speak for themselves.

You should always assume casual is the initial goal, because relationships are meant to naturally develop over time. If you see STR or LTR potential, it should still be because you have simply been hanging out a lot and having a really great time, not because you planned it out and sat down to talk about it.

Go with the flow and use dates as a way to find out more about her, and to subtly test to see if she's worth your time and attention. Forget about sex while on the date and just focus on having a good time. If it's difficult to even have a good time together then the sex will probably be terrible anyway.

When she starts giving obvious signs that she wants to fuuck, even then take your time, tease her, jokingly pretend like you're on the fence, and enjoy being in the moment. Women that enjoy being feminine and submitting absolutely love feeling that they can melt into you without you losing frame or getting desperate.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

There is a lot of women who seek out nice guys as "beta boyfriend material" to make them believe in love again, feel good about dating again, assuage past hurts by bad boys, etc. These women will use the veneer of interest while focusing exclusively on themselves and their emotions. I'm not saying this girl is like that OP, but it's something to keep in mind.

I wouldn't verbalize anything or make any abrupt kiss attempts. As always, start with kino so make sure you have a venue very conducive to that.

 

[member160292]

We need deets!

 

[Barrister]

You let her know your intentions through your actions -- not words. Employ kino, maintain strong eye contact, and be charming/flirtatious. Sometimes this is more difficult to employ effectively if, as you are, there is familiarity between the two of you for a long period of time before you start dating. You don't want to come off as not being genuine - but you can still make it work.

The last thing you want to do is be too milquetoast. She needs to know you are sexually attracted to her (hence making your intentions known), but this needs to be accomplished through non-verbal communication (kino).

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

You let her know your intentions through your actions -- not words. Employ kino, maintain strong eye contact, and be charming/flirtatious. Sometimes this is more difficult to employ effectively if, as you are, there is familiarity between the two of you for a long period of time before you start dating. You don't want to come off as not being genuine - but you can still make it work.

The last thing you want to do is be too milquetoast. She needs to know you are sexually attracted to her (hence making your intentions known), but this needs to be accomplished through non-verbal communication (kino).

I basically followed this to a tee and it was a great night. We didn't hook up but there was a lot of making out and the sexual tension is pretty high. She's entering into her 30s so she's at that phase of trying to pump the brakes a little bit I think. That's fine, we hung out, drank some beers and listened to live music. Some of the best advice I got on this thread was to just relax and have fun which is exactly what I did. The whole nonverbal part is a challenge for me but it's mind blowing how wildly effective it is.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I basically followed this to a tee and it was a great night. We didn't hook up but there was a lot of making out and the sexual tension is pretty high. She's entering into her 30s so she's at that phase of trying to pump the brakes a little bit I think. That's fine, we hung out, drank some beers and listened to live music. Some of the best advice I got on this thread was to just relax and have fun which is exactly what I did. The whole nonverbal part is a challenge for me but it's mind blowing how wildly effective it is.

Now invite her over to your place for dinner for date 3. Then fvck the hell out of her afterwards.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Touch touch touch it tells you everything. In the PUA community it’s called kino.

It’s imperative to let a woman know that you want sex, not overtly. You should be guiding her through doorways with your hand at the small of her back, missing her through a crowd you’re walk through, take her hand and make her follow it’s natural. When you walk down the sidewalk always walk outside this gives you a chance to move her with your hands.

Take her to a venue with music, women love to dance, it’s an acceptable way to touch each other without her feeling smuty but at the same time allows her to be a bad girl.
When you’re storytelling as things reach a crescendo in your sorry reach and grab her hand. Touch touch touch, it’s sexual. Women know instinctively that a good lovers hand are always moving on her body.

Innuendo is your friend, use it in a playful sexy way that is plausibly deniable. Play with your eyes, lock eyes and say nothing trust me it works.

Even on a first date if a woman does not react to what’s listed above she’s low interest. You’re filler, till she gets the tingles elsewhere. ABC always be closing Romeo.