"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Saw A Girl At A Party, Felt I Got Some Eye Contact, Sort of Danced With Her,...

J

Juan_Man

Master Don Juan
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Never Exchange Words With Her, But I Found Her Facebook (she's single)

What's my next step?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
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1. Your sort of danced with her? What does this exactly mean?

2. Just because her facebook says single. Doesn't mean she really is...

3. You made some eye contact. Didn't exchange words but, sort of danced. Well, depending on your situation. You could send her a message on facebook saying "hey remember me from that party?" "You seem like a fun girl, maybe even fun enough for me." "We should get together sometime." Just take it from there.
 
H

HolyG

Senior Don Juan
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He has 889 posts.


Eight hundred and eighty nine.


It's sad to see how little this boards helps some people.


Look man, go read the DJ bible. just go. now. you need to do a complete 180 and straighten yourself up.
 
J

Juan_Man

Master Don Juan
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I.A.F.Y.B. said:
1. Your sort of danced with her? What does this exactly mean?

2. Just because her facebook says single. Doesn't mean she really is...

3. You made some eye contact. Didn't exchange words but, sort of danced. Well, depending on your situation. You could send her a message on facebook saying "hey remember me from that party?" "You seem like a fun girl, maybe even fun enough for me." "We should get together sometime." Just take it from there.
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1. By "sort of danced with her", I meant that I cuffed arms with her three times and did a little "merry-go-round" dance with her in the style of a square dance. No grind session, though.

2. I know she's single because she said so when she was participating in one of the dance contests.

3. I wanted to send her a message that says something like, "I saw you at the party the other day. I wanted to talked to you, but I couldn't find the best time." But I'm a little worried that this might be too stalkerish. I could have approached her after the party ended when she was behind me as we were both walking toward the parking lot but I felt the approach might appear too sketchy AND she was talking to someone on her cell. I would like to see her in person again but I don't know when that day will come.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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M

marinetti

Senior Don Juan
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i think you missed your chance. go for it, by all means, but there's no real connection here, and by implying that you felt like there was, you're probably going to chase her away.

next time, approach!!!! facebook messages are not approaches!!!

and there are no "best times" to talk to someone. just go over and talk to her. approaching is hard, and one of the first challenges we all face is getting used to them. start getting used to them so this never happens again.
 
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