"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Respect?

T

tryst type

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First time dealing with a girl who didn't take lightly to fun sexual regerences and told me to stop making them. After I picked on her about being uptight and asked if she usually talks to choir boys, she said no only guys with respect because sexual references make her uncomfortable.

Isn't she supposed to be into her innate desires even with verbal play subtley? I'm confused.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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3

3countriesPlan

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One of those girls...she's got her shield up.. use less sexual references...

She won't be so rigid after you hit it....for these types it is a race downhill.. as you get closer to the finish line it gets easier
 
T

tryst type

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This is what happened.

Her - I suck I'm 22 and still workin here
Me - you better suck or there won't be a third date! ;)

So with this girl do I respect her and not make sexual innuendos at all til we have sex? Seems like she won't see me sexually without it? Juist not used to this approach.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

ChrizZ

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tryst type said:
This is what happened.

Her - I suck I'm 22 and still workin here
Me - you better suck or there won't be a third date! ;)

So with this girl do I respect her and not make sexual innuendos at all til we have sex? Seems like she won't see me sexually without it? Juist not used to this approach.
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Hahahaha

you did awesome. You are definately not in the friendzone. You have to keep pushing it even if she gives you bad reactions. Escalate, escalate, escalate.
 
T

tryst type

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Whyd she say it makes her uncomfortable? Not understanding this type if girl. Insight?
 
penkitten

penkitten

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come on, this is the type of thing that people take as sexual harrassment
 
W

weakepedea

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Don't try to decipher the meaning because it probably makes no sense. It was probably just a defense so she wouldn't come off as easy. If you don't get a third date, for the next girl who has a sucky job, instead of threatening a bj for a third date, maybe you should try something else.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I

iqqi

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Yes, some women would find your comment offensive. Not all women have a dirty sense of humour. Some would find that comment rude and distasteful.

Yes, it was funny. But you wouldn't say it to just anyone, right?
 
C

ChrizZ

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tryst type said:
Should I stop all sexual innuendos with this one?
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NO.

The worst you could do is apologizing for being a man. Keep it up and make your intentions clear to her.
 
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