Powersurgeon
Don Juan
Would you date a 36 yo divorced woman (divorced because she cheated), with 3 kids, that sees her ex on a daily basis (because of the kids) seeking for a LTR?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Question for guys over 40
- Thread starter Powersurgeon
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Tictac
Banned
Cheater - no.
Sees her old man because of the kids - maybe but likely not.
Sees her old man because of the kids - maybe but likely not.
Albatross953
Master Don Juan
People don't change.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear PowerSurgeon,
The biggest problem is the three Kids...If she ticked my boxes,I would certainly enjoy her company on a regular basis,but only as a Plate,never let a Woman like that get her feet under your table!
The biggest problem is the three Kids...If she ticked my boxes,I would certainly enjoy her company on a regular basis,but only as a Plate,never let a Woman like that get her feet under your table!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Powersurgeon
Don Juan
I think that a guy who puts himself in that position is an AFC.
If you mean date as in a serious relationship, probably not, but as a FWB sure I would. I'm seeing a 33yo old with 3 younger kids, I haven't even asked about what the deal is with her ex, because I don't care, I just want her as a FWB.
prison/con.net
Banned
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she'd have to be a "Salt" , like Angie played in that movie and such a woman would never have 3 kids (of her own).
glass half full
Master Don Juan
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Hell no. Unless you just want to pound it once. No investment either. And go Ghost.
Eco-J
Don Juan
Plus, you're only 35. Why are you bothering with any 36 year old in the first place, let alone one with so many potential headaches?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 15, 2004
- Messages
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I don't date women with more than one kid. If she decided to have more than one kid, she should've made it work with the guy she had the last kid with. If you're going to start a family, fvcking stick to it. Thinking you can still party with any guy you want AND raise a family is foolish thinking. The bytch should've seen it through.
If her kids are all in their mid teens or older, that's a different story since the kids have their own lives. Otherwise, HELL NO.
If her kids are all in their mid teens or older, that's a different story since the kids have their own lives. Otherwise, HELL NO.
Powersurgeon
Don Juan
The women in question is my ex. I am trying to figure out her new boyfriend. How come a 42 yo, divorced, with adult sons will get involved with a biatch like my ex.
Albatross953
Master Don Juan
Because all he sees is her good side and a ton of sex. My ex did the same thing. It is in their nature to work as hard as they can to lock down the best man they can.Powersurgeon said:
Now instead of figuring it out, you should be fighting your own fight. How about you forget about her and focus on what you want?
Powersurgeon
Don Juan
My only worry is that for me is not normal that a guy with the above caractheristics is so eager to know my 6 yo daughter and my 4 yo male twins. Or he is a total AFC or a pedophile.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
No. Dating is for chumps. You don't have to date to have sex.Powersurgeon said:
Albatross953
Master Don Juan
I'm telling you it is normal. The wife moves on and pays no penalty for past behavior. Some guys will reject because she has kids but most won't.
I get the worry, and I'd never make light of the concern. But you have very little you can do. Just see the kids a lot, know what goes on. I would also suggest meeting the guy if you're that worried.
I wish I had more to suggest. You're unlikely to dictate the pace of introduction to the ex. I couldn't.
I get the worry, and I'd never make light of the concern. But you have very little you can do. Just see the kids a lot, know what goes on. I would also suggest meeting the guy if you're that worried.
I wish I had more to suggest. You're unlikely to dictate the pace of introduction to the ex. I couldn't.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
I'd use her for sex, but bail when she wanted me to "marry up" and help her raise her kids..... She could CALL it dating if she wanted to
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Oh Good Lord.Powersurgeon said:
We are headed down the same toilet that Rome flushed itself down.
Take care of your kids, guy. Geez I just don't get it. You OR your wife. Why put your kids through that sh*t. And you're far from alone.
Albatross953
Master Don Juan
Speed dawg all due respect but what exactly is he supposed to do differently? He said his wife cheated. She's introducing the kids to a new guy. What control does he have?
If he does everything perfectly he might get an equal legal footing. But I don't see any recourse for him or me or anyone else.
If you specific actions he can take, please let us know.
If he does everything perfectly he might get an equal legal footing. But I don't see any recourse for him or me or anyone else.
If you specific actions he can take, please let us know.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.