"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Question for guys over 40

Powersurgeon

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Would you date a 36 yo divorced woman (divorced because she cheated), with 3 kids, that sees her ex on a daily basis (because of the kids) seeking for a LTR?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear PowerSurgeon,
The biggest problem is the three Kids...If she ticked my boxes,I would certainly enjoy her company on a regular basis,but only as a Plate,never let a Woman like that get her feet under your table!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Willard

Senior Don Juan
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If you mean date as in a serious relationship, probably not, but as a FWB sure I would. I'm seeing a 33yo old with 3 younger kids, I haven't even asked about what the deal is with her ex, because I don't care, I just want her as a FWB.
 
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she'd have to be a "Salt" , like Angie played in that movie and such a woman would never have 3 kids (of her own).
 

glass half full

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Hell no. Unless you just want to pound it once. No investment either. And go Ghost.
 

Eco-J

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Plus, you're only 35. Why are you bothering with any 36 year old in the first place, let alone one with so many potential headaches?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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I don't date women with more than one kid. If she decided to have more than one kid, she should've made it work with the guy she had the last kid with. If you're going to start a family, fvcking stick to it. Thinking you can still party with any guy you want AND raise a family is foolish thinking. The bytch should've seen it through.

If her kids are all in their mid teens or older, that's a different story since the kids have their own lives. Otherwise, HELL NO.
 

Powersurgeon

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The women in question is my ex. I am trying to figure out her new boyfriend. How come a 42 yo, divorced, with adult sons will get involved with a biatch like my ex.
 

grayclif

Master Don Juan
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Powersurgeon - for whatever reason he likes her. I have a plate who is 35 yo with three kids. She absolutely fantastic. Been on and off with her for two years snd I've never met the kids.
 

Albatross953

Master Don Juan
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Powersurgeon said:
The women in question is my ex. I am trying to figure out her new boyfriend. How come a 42 yo, divorced, with adult sons will get involved with a biatch like my ex.
Because all he sees is her good side and a ton of sex. My ex did the same thing. It is in their nature to work as hard as they can to lock down the best man they can.

Now instead of figuring it out, you should be fighting your own fight. How about you forget about her and focus on what you want?
 

Powersurgeon

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My only worry is that for me is not normal that a guy with the above caractheristics is so eager to know my 6 yo daughter and my 4 yo male twins. Or he is a total AFC or a pedophile.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Albatross953

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I'm telling you it is normal. The wife moves on and pays no penalty for past behavior. Some guys will reject because she has kids but most won't.

I get the worry, and I'd never make light of the concern. But you have very little you can do. Just see the kids a lot, know what goes on. I would also suggest meeting the guy if you're that worried.

I wish I had more to suggest. You're unlikely to dictate the pace of introduction to the ex. I couldn't.
 

sodbuster

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I'd use her for sex, but bail when she wanted me to "marry up" and help her raise her kids..... She could CALL it dating if she wanted to
 

speed dawg

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Powersurgeon said:
My only worry is that for me is not normal that a guy with the above caractheristics is so eager to know my 6 yo daughter and my 4 yo male twins. Or he is a total AFC or a pedophile.
Oh Good Lord.

We are headed down the same toilet that Rome flushed itself down.

Take care of your kids, guy. Geez I just don't get it. You OR your wife. Why put your kids through that sh*t. And you're far from alone.
 

Albatross953

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Speed dawg all due respect but what exactly is he supposed to do differently? He said his wife cheated. She's introducing the kids to a new guy. What control does he have?

If he does everything perfectly he might get an equal legal footing. But I don't see any recourse for him or me or anyone else.

If you specific actions he can take, please let us know.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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