Tweek_1984
Senior Don Juan
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Dont eat a girl out after you've after you've shagged her with a rubber on. I made this mistkae and I got the foul combination of dirty ***** & latex tastes in my mouth.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Pvssy Smell
- Thread starter Harp
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
KarmaSutra
Banned
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This may not be pertinent to this thread but the greatest revenge I ever gave to an ex-girlfriend was droppin a load in her craw after eating 4 big cans of asparagus . . .
O' by Jesus, I thought she was going to die and I couldn't stop laughing . . .
Karma
O' by Jesus, I thought she was going to die and I couldn't stop laughing . . .
Karma
penkitten
Master Don Juan
well since i have a vagina and you dont, i have learned that if i dont eat a diet with some fruits and vegtables for a few days, i have to shower more often. isnt that gross? thats why eating a bacon biscut and big macs and fries is not my ideal dinner.Originally posted by Shiftkey
LOL What was her reaction?
Penkitten, certainly a logical idea, but do you have any evidence? I've been with women who eat like a pig (yet somehow remain thin...) and they taste just fine down there. I also refuse to go down on a woman who doesn't shave (I hate licking hair).
no one likes hair down there.
KarmaSutra
Banned
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Ok, test this yourself. Eat some canned asparagus and then wait 20-30 minutes and take a piss. Now, imagine that taste four times over after stewing in your sac for 3 hours.
Battery acid tastes better and would prolly leave you with a better felling.
Canned asparagus is more effective than fresh asparagus because the enzymes have jumpstarted breaking down in the can.
Cheers
Karma
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
If there's one thing I've learned from this website, it's that women do not know everything about women just because they are women. I sure as hell don't know everything about men despite being a man. Even doctors don't know everything about male and female bodies. And while you have a vagina and I don't, I am guessing that I have eaten out more vaginas than you have
and my experience is still valid.
KarmaSutra
Banned
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I've bottomed out and bumped a cervix or ten. I dunno how many non-lesbian women can say the same thing . . .
Being a woman does not ,by default , mean that she knows everything about her own body.
Karma
If this is a big problem for you then see if you can try pouring some chocolate syrup or whipped cream or something sweet all around her puss...if she lets you. That way even if it stinks you'll have a sweet taste all over your tongue which should counter the stench. It worked for me once
penkitten
Master Don Juan
actually i do know everything about my own body.
ha, this takes me back.
The first girl i ever fingered in my life smelled so terrible.
I was doing it or whatever, i could smell it the second she dropped her panties.
And this girl is a super clean girl, super cute also.
We got over that, i think she had just gotten over her period or something, i dunno.
It smelled so bad, after she went home, i washed my hands with dial soap, then smelled my finger, it still smelled like nasty *****.
It took bleach and water to get the reek off my fingers
The first girl i ever fingered in my life smelled so terrible.
I was doing it or whatever, i could smell it the second she dropped her panties.
And this girl is a super clean girl, super cute also.
We got over that, i think she had just gotten over her period or something, i dunno.
It smelled so bad, after she went home, i washed my hands with dial soap, then smelled my finger, it still smelled like nasty *****.
It took bleach and water to get the reek off my fingers
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
SmoothIsSex
Don Juan
"If it smells like fish, it's a tasty dish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone." :crackup:
Not really true entirely, but still funny.
Not really true entirely, but still funny.
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
LOL...that`s a riot.