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Potential wife past sexual history

Pandora

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Why would anyone want a wife these days? I get having kids, but the deck is stacked against you. We've let women run wild in the streets, and they have damaged themselves. I think you will need to give up looks to get a good woman that makes a good wife.
Bingo. My best gf's were the mildly unattractive ones. Dang I wish I treated them better. This is the pink elephant in the room. No guy wants to talk about how there are still decent women, they are just ugly af.
 
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pipeman84

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How many wives have you had? What does a wife provide that a solid girlfriend doesn't? I don't see the benefit.
Never been married. Well, if you live with the solid girlfriend then for all intents and purposes and according to common law, you are married. When I say wife/marriage I don't necessarily equate it to having a marriage certificate. That opens a whole can of worms about men being divorce raped in some jurisdictions and that is way beyond the scope of this thread.
May I ask why you're arguing with me, with my experience and how I have chosen to deal with it?
I'm not arguing, I just said your example proves my thesis and answers your own question about the attraction of virgins. Your claim is that a woman who's been through 4 LTRs, including with a drug addict/alcoholic as has been uncovered in the later posts, should be viewed by men just as valuable for marriage purposes as one who is a virgin. :lol: It's like saying a power-lifter who's had surgery on both his knees and shoulders is as good as one who didn't have any. Yeah, he might have learned a lot, but his body is damaged.
@Bokanovsky has said women are not capable of objective self-reflection and you prove that point. Because if you were, you wouldn't even have asked us guys a question with an obvious answer.
 

pipeman84

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My best gf's were the mildly unattractive ones. Dang I wish I treated them better. This is the pink elephant in the room. No guy wants to talk about how there are still decent women, they are just ugly af.
Man, that's not fair to you or them...to start a relationship with someone you find unattractive. If she doesn't pass the first test, which is physical attraction, why go further? For every girl you find unattractive, there's other guy out there who thinks she's beautiful. Let them meet each other.
 
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What makes a woman engaging in sexual intimacy with a past serious boyfriend so disgusting to you?
You can word it that way, or you can describe what actually happens and relate why men are repulsed by that:
A girl who got penetrated by a benis in more than one orifice and got filled up with semen by a strange man several times with no strings attached. You have prostitutes for that and they are smart enough and ask for money.

It is not the act we find repulsive, it is the fact that she is physically and mentally tainted, marked by other men. Man's reaction is natural and this is why we had laws against fornication for thousands of years. The same was not codified for men but it was encouraged to keep your benis to yourself lest you become effeminate due to obsessing over vageen.
 

Barrister

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You're right it's not, it's my experience. However, there are many women (and men) who feel same way I do. Who choose to see the glass half full, who have the ability to overcome adversity and come out the other side stronger.

I am not really getting why I am being faulted for this. Would it be better if I were an angry, embittered, jaded woman who disliked and distrusted all men because I had a few relationships that didn't work out?

I am a positive person, I choose to believe that when one door closes, there is another bigger better door that opens.

Which I have found in my husband and marriage, I'm happy!

I haven't lost my femininity or positive spirit because past relationships didn't end up in marriage.

I am not quite sure why I am being negatively judged and criticized for that.

P.S. And for the person who thinks I can't keep my mouth shut or seeking attention, if posters would stop asking me questions and engaging me, I would! LOL

Or would you rather I ignore your questions, would that be better?

I have 84 "likes" and have received over 20 private messages since rejoining welcoming me back and telling me I have value on the forum and to continue posting.

So perhaps someone else needs to keep his mouth shut and/or place me on ignore, frankly I am baffled why he has not.
I remember that time(s) where you said you were REALLY leaving the forum THIS time (it seemed like the 10th time you had said in one thread). But you are back here now with a different screen name - cleverly a "2" placed behind your original one.

I think you need to ask yourself why you feel the need to come onto a men's seduction/dating forum and argue with male posters about how happy you are with yourself, how you aren't lascivious, how men here are missing the point about women's nature, etc. etc. It says a lot about you frankly. And to many of us, it rubs us the wrong way where it seems like every thread you are involved in gets turned into a thread about Catsmeow. You keep saying people are asking you questions. That is true they are asking for discourse on the topic at hand -- not to always make everything case sensitive to your life.

I am fine with having women on the forum and have greatly enjoyed some of their insight in the past. But the men here aren't stupid and can see through your poorly veiled attempts to always get some personal validation out of this place. And it is behavior that some us have dealt with from women in the past and haven't appreciated - which doesn't help your situation here.

My two cents.
 

Barrister

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Yeah OK @Barrister I'll think about why I'm here however you might consider why you and some others become SO emotionally triggered by my posts, and if they have no value to you, why not simply ignore?

Would that not be the most logical thing to do rather rather than waste time and energy responding with your protracted analysis on why I don't belong here?

Re my "advice" I'm curious what you find so 'wrong' and distasteful about it and again why it emotionally triggers you and some others?

I mean wtf, since when did being resilient, picking your ass up and carrying on after a break up, learning and growing from the experience become wrong? Which has been the essence of my posts on this thread, and some others.

If a man had posted that, you'd be applauding him. It's what mature evolved people do for chrissakes.

Not wallow and and carry the mindset and negative energy that there must be something "wrong" with you, referring to one of your posts about men and criticising me (and women in general) for not "owning " that and choosing instead to see the glass half full and learning from the experience. Lord.

You and the other poster who continually becomes ridiculously unhinged at my presence here but yet won't block are not the only men here.

For context I have received many DM's thanking me for my posts/advice, which I find interesting since they do so in DM's and not on the forum where others can see.

But whatever, I DO appreciate the validation, I own it and not ashamed of it.

I'm happy that what I have learned over the years has helped someone else in some small way, yes it makes me feel good knowing that.

If you find that wrong or "solipsistic" so be.

Anyway, I have said my piece on this thread. And will continue to post if I feel it might have value and help someone else in a positive way.

Ciao.
No one is "emotionally triggered" here. I am simply explaining to you why you rub a lot of the guys here the wrong way. And your response here is consistent with your normal response when someone points it out to you. And you are glossing over the fact, continually, that this is a MEN's forum you are on. A forum with a very large segment dedicated to rooting out validation-seeking behavior from women and teaching men how to recognize it and put a stop to it. I think that is highly relevant to why you are getting negative reactions.

And why would I block you? Not like I am losing sleep over your presence here. I don't have anything personally against you - but I think you try to paint it that way for some unknown reason.
 

2Rocky

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All these posters in here who can't have a polite discussion with the one or two females in the forum, and they wonder why" they can't find a good woman". Guys...I don't think you will find women MORE "on your side" and still you insist on debating with them. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

There is a saying in skiing....Ski the gaps not the trees. You get what you focus on. A tree in my peripheral vision was still a tree I was obsessed with, afraid of – drawing my attention away from where I actually wanted to go.

I don't read anyone here reflecting on themselves asking how they can be more at peace with themselves, and their path in life, to attract the kind of woman they could consider to be a lifelong companion, or a series of meaningful relationships filled with passion and respect. Instead you complain about the trees in your path, and ski right into them.
 

Dr.Suave

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All these posters in here who can't have a polite discussion with the one or two females in the forum, and they wonder why" they can't find a good woman". Guys...I don't think you will find women MORE "on your side" and still you insist on debating with them. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

There is a saying in skiing....Ski the gaps not the trees. You get what you focus on. A tree in my peripheral vision was still a tree I was obsessed with, afraid of – drawing my attention away from where I actually wanted to go.

I don't read anyone here reflecting on themselves asking how they can be more at peace with themselves, and their path in life, to attract the kind of woman they could consider to be a lifelong companion, or a series of meaningful relationships filled with passion and respect. Instead you complain about the trees in your path, and ski right into them.
I don't disagree. You make some good points bro. But theres Guys here who are very Nice (perhaps too Nice) to catsmeow and beexcellent, and they still can't find a Quality girl.
 
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2Rocky

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I don't disagree. You make some good points bro. But theres Guys here who are very Nice (perhaps too Nice) to catsmeow and beexcellent, and they still can't find a Quality girl.
The vast majority are argumentative.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Yes being a virgin is important. Submission is even more important than past promiscuity. The ability to be submissive is not necessarily correlated to notch count. I used to think it was until I dated 2 virgins. They were a headache. They were very stubborn and did not take guidance. The stubbornness they used to hold on to their virginity is the same stubbornness they will use to defy you. I rather have an agreeable past sl*t than a stubborn virgin.

Also, good luck in finding a girl with a less than 10 man notch count in the West. Its almost impossible. If they are attractive its even more impossible. It does bother me a lot that most girls have double digit notch counts but this is what we have to deal with.
It's not. And if that is the mindset guys have, that they need to find a virgin they are delusional and this may be a form of mental illness, IMHO

Although more likely just worried that a woman who has experience sexually will find them severely lacking in skills in that domain compared to other men, so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.
 

Velasco

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so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.
This is why I'd prefer her to have 1-2 previous partners. Virgins (referring to the good looking young ones, after you've slept with them) these days are too curious about what else is out there, even if your the best she could get.
 

Dr.Suave

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It's not. And if that is the mindset guys have, that they need to find a virgin they are delusional and this may be a form of mental illness, IMHO
I had a bachelors degree by 20, a few post graduates degrees by 25. Relatively succesful job/career. But yeah, I Might have a bunch of mental illness for all I know. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

Also, "need a virgin" is a bit strong. I been in LTR with non virgins. I dont need virgins, I prefer them. It turns me on knowing she has never had sex with anyone else (due tu all my mental illness, I guess)

Man, Im kind of agreeing with everyone today. I must be having a good day.
 
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DonJuanjr

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Although more likely just worried that a woman who has experience sexually will find them severely lacking in skills in that domain compared to other men, so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.
I think this is a valid point. Though I'm not touting the virgin mantra, I find it a turn on knowing I'm more experienced and showing a girl things, as opposed to being with one that's seen it all, and not impressed with anything... You even strive to be the best sexually with the women you're with.... How can some of these men do this who are very late bloomers and their only pool is women who have seen it all? They can't...
 
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All these posters in here who can't have a polite discussion with the one or two females in the forum, and they wonder why" they can't find a good woman". Guys...I don't think you will find women MORE "on your side" and still you insist on debating with them. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

There is a saying in skiing....Ski the gaps not the trees. You get what you focus on. A tree in my peripheral vision was still a tree I was obsessed with, afraid of – drawing my attention away from where I actually wanted to go.

I don't read anyone here reflecting on themselves asking how they can be more at peace with themselves, and their path in life, to attract the kind of woman they could consider to be a lifelong companion, or a series of meaningful relationships filled with passion and respect. Instead you complain about the trees in your path, and ski right into them.
lel imagine discussing with a woman about anything, especially online.
 

pipeman84

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Although more likely just worried that a woman who has experience sexually will find them severely lacking in skills in that domain compared to other men, so the only way to eliminate that is to find a woman that has nothing to compare them to.
Men with this kind of reasoning are a perfect match to women like catsmeow2 who argue that after 4 LTRs she's as pure as Snow White. So it's win-win. ;)

This is why I'd prefer her to have 1-2 previous partners. Virgins (referring to the good looking young ones, after you've slept with them) these days are too curious about what else is out there, even if your the best she could get.
So let me get this straight...you believe a woman with a track record of 1-2 times of disloyalty and poor choice making is more trustworthy than one with no track record?
 

Velasco

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So let me get this straight...you believe a woman with a track record of 1-2 times of disloyalty and poor choice making is more trustworthy than one with no track record?
I'd rather have a girl that is with me comfortably knowing I'm the best she could get Vs be with one always wondering if I am or not?
 

pipeman84

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I'd rather have a girl that is with me comfortably knowing I'm the best she could get Vs be with one always wondering if I am or not?
Yeah, but how does saying 'I love you' and giving her pvssy to 2 guys before you convince her that you're the lucky no. 3, the best there is? In return for the pvssy those 2 guys gave her emotional baggage that wasn't there when she was a virgin and now you have to deal with.
 

pipeman84

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Come on man, play fair. I never claimed to be pure as Snow White, I never claimed to be pure at all.
That was a figure of speech to give a lighthearted tone to the message.
 

Fruitbat

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Me, personally, I would not marry a girl who has had someone else´s d1ck inside her. There could be exceptions, (maybe she´s like my favorite Hollywood actress or something) but those exceptions would be as rare as finding and pulling a virgin who passes the boner test in the 1st place.

It took me decades and a lot of patience and self improvement but I did manage to find and pull someone I think is worthy of marriage. Im planning on putting a ring on it sometime next year.

All that being said, some (most?) guys just dont care that much about the girl not being a virgin. Its not a deal breaker for them. I will never understand it, but I wont judge them or anything. To each his own.
interesting. I’ve never understood the virgin thing beyond the fact that virgins are usually younger and therefore more likely to be pretty.

the concept of another man having screwed her doesnt bother me.

Is it more of a “yuck” thing or is it more of a kind of ego thing (ie I got where nobody else could)?
My wife had 3 apparently (probs 6 based on chick logic) but I am well over 20 so don’t really care.

in fact I would worry a chick who I married a virgin would a ) be totally sexually incompatible or b) decide at 30 she’s made an error and needs to live and then start with the gym instructor - very common.

what I wouldn’t like is if she had a real history - like getting ploughed by 6 guys, or having been regarded as a bike at some point in the past.

if she’s just had a few boyfriend, I couldn’t care less.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Men with this kind of reasoning are a perfect match to women like catsmeow2 who argue that after 4 LTRs she's as pure as Snow White. So it's win-win. ;)


So let me get this straight...you believe a woman with a track record of 1-2 times of disloyalty and poor choice making is more trustworthy than one with no track record?
I don't want a woman pure as snow white. I want a woman who knows how to fvck.
 
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