Potential wife past sexual history

[DonJuanjr]

she has a clean record as far as pair bonding is concerned...I couldn't take seriously an 'I love you' or other expressions of love from a woman who said that to 5 guys before me.

You don't get it. In the MOMENT they do feel that way. Then like a leaf blowing in the wind, their feelings change direction...

 

[Dr.Suave]

About the mindset. I really would like to understand it.

I asked a couple questions in my post, since you care enough about what I post and to respond, can you answer the questions?

This one in particular.

>>What makes a woman engaging in sexual intimacy with a past serious boyfriend so disgusting to you?

To be fair I never called them disgusting. I believe that was someone else

 

[pipeman84]

You don't get it. In the MOMENT they do feel that way. Then like a leaf blowing in the wind, their feelings change direction...

When she's that fickle then she's not marriage material. You need consistency if you want to live together with someone and perhaps start a family.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Thank you. Perhaps that's the answer.

U r welcome. I learned it the hard way

 

[Pedrito0906]

@catsmeow2 Trying to put into words the attraction towards virgins, beside the biological reason already mentioned, on a higher, more intellectual level, this is what I came up with:
- she has a clean record as far as pair bonding is concerned...I couldn't take seriously an 'I love you' or other expressions of love from a woman who said that to 5 guys before me. 1-2, let's say they could be mistakes, particularly if it happened when she was under 20yrs old, more than that and there's a pattern.
- sexual promiscuity is linked to all sorts of other mental issues that makes the woman unfit for marriage
- she sees love and relations and you the man as someone special....once you're the 5th in an open-ended line, it's more like an arrangement/transaction than something unique between a man and a woman.
- she has a clean record as far as her capacity of making rational choices in major issues (such as partner choice and giving access to pvssy with all its implications like potential pregnancy, STDs) and loyalty. A woman with 5 exes can talk about how they were toxic and learned lessons and bla bla all day long. What it actually means is that she made poor choices, she's a slow learner and/or she's not loyal.

But what guarantee do you have that the # 5 she's telling you in the right number?

 

[SW15]

Realistically, in the Western world, the only way a guy is getting a true virgin is if they end up together in high school and get married. In almost every other single situation, a woman is going to, at a minimum, have had sex with a boyfriend in the past. Why this forum continues to fixate on the whole virgin thing I truly don't understand since a whopping 0% of the forum falls in the category of being with their high school sweetheart (to my knowledge).

I suppose you may find some foreign woman where there is a possibility she is a virgin. But I would think that is even then incredibly rare.

I agree with all of this.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I think many men on here haven't resolved their Madonna/***** complexes...

 

[pipeman84]

I agree with you about that . I am not talking about sexually promiscuous women, but rather a woman who has engaged in sexual intimacy with a previous boyfriend.

Well, then the other points still stand. Furthermore, why did the relationship end? I tend to put the burden of blame on women because they are about relationships and emotions more than men who are about sex. Men are supposed to be like mustangs who freely roam the prairie and bang whoever they can. Then a particular woman manages to corral them in a relationship. What's the reason for their escape? I often hear the reason: relationship just ran its course. Well, I say that's generally speaking BS. That shouldn't happen unless extraordinary circumstances, and when it happens 5 times to the same person it's clearly her, not the circumstances.

 

[DonJuanjr]

No guarantees, ever. Despite love, loyalty, and best efforts.

I am married and even I don't believe that.

Regardless of what you say, I bet your husband does... His love is different from yours.

 

[pipeman84]

@pipeman84 that's not true. It was the right choice at the time, but people can change and grow apart despite their best efforts.

There are NO guarantees a relationship or even a marriage will work out.

The bolded part I think happens in a minority of cases. More often than not, deep down the woman knew he wasn't the right guy. Most times she admits it herself AFTER the relationship is over. I have a player friend who had a girl very in love with him, he was honest and told her he can't be with her and she still pursued him and got alpha widowed by him. Now she's married and has a kid with a different guy. I pity the fool to quote Clubber Lang in Rocky 3.

Of course there are no guarantees in life, but here we're talking about stacking the odds in your favor.

Doesn't mean it was a poor choice, not if they learned something valuable from the experience which ideally we all should.

Some things should just be default knowledge...like for instance you don't get into street fights or physically abuse your woman...some men need a few prison stints before they learn this lesson. Which one do your prefer, the one with a lengthy prison record or the one with no record?

 

[DonJuanjr]

No, he doesn't believe in fairytales either.

What I'm saying is "Till Death" has a lot more meaning to him than you...

 

[pipeman84]

But what guarantee do you have that the # 5 she's telling you in the right number?

That's why you date her for at least 2 yrs before considering marriage (in a legal sense) and kids. Truth can't be hidden for that long.

I also think comparing a woman who's shared sexually intimacy with a serious boyfriend prior to you to an ex-con is an unfair comparison.

How is that? Good girls learn either through getting in touch with their femininity and/or through good upbringing no to give in to first impulse and to not open their legs to first guy who sweet talks them.
It's the same with boys, the good ones learn by the time they are under the age of legal responsibility that fighting and violence is bad.
Humans are not perfect and there are special circumstances, but when there's a pattern it's not the circumstances but the man or the woman.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Sweet baby Jesus…these threads make my eyes bleed.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I didnt believe in fairytales either. But when you are with the right person, d@mn bro, that´s as close as you will get.

 

[Dr.Suave]

See my previous post.

Again, life is not a Disney fairytale where Cinderella (virginal, pure and innocent) lives happily ever after with Prince Charming.

No guarantees, ever. Despite love, loyalty, and best efforts.

I am married and even I don't believe that.

Maybe not happily ever after but I will take "happily as long as possible".

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I didnt believe in fairytales either. But when you are with the right person, d@mn bro, that´s as close as you will get.

Until it isn’t…not black pill by any means, but the longest I’ve been able to have that is 4 years.

I can genuinely say with no hesitation whatsoever that no woman (i wanted a life with) has loved or cared for me the way I did for them.

Every scar on my heart was put there by someone who “loved me”.

Solution? Float like a caddy and sting like a beemer.

#MostlyJaded

 

[DonJuanjr]

Until it isn’t…not black pill by any means, but the longest I’ve been able to have that is 4 years.

I can genuinely say with no hesitation whatsoever that no woman (i wanted a life with) has loved or cared for me the way I did for them.

Every scar on my heart was put there by someone who “loved me”.

Which reinforces my statements of:

I bet your husband does... His love is different from yours.

What I'm saying is "Till Death" has a lot more meaning to him than you...

 

[Dr.Suave]

Until it isn’t…not black pill by any means, but the longest I’ve been able to have that is 4 years.

I can genuinely say with no hesitation whatsoever that no woman (i wanted a life with) has loved or cared for me the way I did for them.

Every scar on my heart was put there by someone who “loved me”.

Solution? Float like a caddy and sting like a beemer.

#MostlyJaded

Mmmhhh that´s interesting: My previous LTR lasted 4+ years and my current LTR feels better in every way. If this dosnt work out I will probably give up on marriage/kids.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I would hazard a guess that I’m at least two decades older than you are. I’ve seen a lot, experience is a harsh teacher.

Everyone experiences life differently since we’re all unique in one way or another. Our reality is shaped by our history. Hell maybe I’m in manopause, eh.

I still love me some wimmenz though.

Mmmhhh that´s interesting: My previous LTR lasted 4+ years and my current LTR feels better in every way. If this dosnt work out I will probably give up on marriage/kids.

 

[pipeman84]

What makes you think a woman's first serious boyfriend was the first guy who sweet talked her?

He could be the 20th guy, but they fell in love and had a relationship including sex.

Despite their best efforts, they grew apart and ended relationship.

And she's now damaged goods because of it?

Every act has consequences. I'm not here to throw stones, I just expressed my preferences and tried as best as I could to give arguments for them. As you see, even in this thread, people are diverse and what I and others consider deal breakers as far as marriage material is concerned, others don't care; it's good that the world is like this. I believe in the end like attracts like.