VikingKing
Banned
What kind of openers do you guys use on pof?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Uncharted said:I agree. It's all about how good looking you are. Much more so than in real life. If you say something "witty" you may get a response. I probably get a 30% response just saying Hello back. Then from there a 30% number pull. Then from there a 40% non-flake for a date.
It's a numbers game like anything else but the numbers are stacked against you.
Find girls in real life. Much easier, less headache, easier to show your confidence in person than through an e-mail.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.bukowski_merit said:In order of importance:
1. Pics
2. What you say in your profile.
3. #s (like height, income)
4. Your opening email...
Focus on 1 & 2 and you wont have to worry about your opener. When you can just send a wink face to a woman and consistently get responses - you know 1&2 are locked down.
Field tested x 100
GS750 said:This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.
GS750 said:This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
If it cost you more than 5 bucks, its a waste.GS750 said:No its not free. There's pros and cons I guess. But those free sites are littered with fake profiles. I've found Pof and Okcupid to be a complete waste of time. But that's just me. If anything, online dating gets you used to rejection. There's lots of that haha.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.