VikingKing
Banned
What kind of openers do you guys use on pof?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Uncharted said:I agree. It's all about how good looking you are. Much more so than in real life. If you say something "witty" you may get a response. I probably get a 30% response just saying Hello back. Then from there a 30% number pull. Then from there a 40% non-flake for a date.
It's a numbers game like anything else but the numbers are stacked against you.
Find girls in real life. Much easier, less headache, easier to show your confidence in person than through an e-mail.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.bukowski_merit said:In order of importance:
1. Pics
2. What you say in your profile.
3. #s (like height, income)
4. Your opening email...
Focus on 1 & 2 and you wont have to worry about your opener. When you can just send a wink face to a woman and consistently get responses - you know 1&2 are locked down.
Field tested x 100
GS750 said:This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.
GS750 said:This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If it cost you more than 5 bucks, its a waste.GS750 said:No its not free. There's pros and cons I guess. But those free sites are littered with fake profiles. I've found Pof and Okcupid to be a complete waste of time. But that's just me. If anything, online dating gets you used to rejection. There's lots of that haha.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.