VikingKing
Banned
What kind of openers do you guys use on pof?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Uncharted said:I agree. It's all about how good looking you are. Much more so than in real life. If you say something "witty" you may get a response. I probably get a 30% response just saying Hello back. Then from there a 30% number pull. Then from there a 40% non-flake for a date.
It's a numbers game like anything else but the numbers are stacked against you.
Find girls in real life. Much easier, less headache, easier to show your confidence in person than through an e-mail.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.bukowski_merit said:In order of importance:
1. Pics
2. What you say in your profile.
3. #s (like height, income)
4. Your opening email...
Focus on 1 & 2 and you wont have to worry about your opener. When you can just send a wink face to a woman and consistently get responses - you know 1&2 are locked down.
Field tested x 100
GS750 said:This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.
GS750 said:This is accurate. I don't use POF anymore. I use Match. But as far as the opener I just find something in her profile or pictures and ask a simple question. That way she knows you at least read the profile. She will then go to your profile and if she thinks you're good looking enough she'll respond. So you're opener can be lame as hell if you're good looking. If you're not at least somewhat good looking and over 5'10" online dating is going to be a major disappointment. Even the fuglies will ignore you. I've had some success, but I know its because of my pics, my height, and my income. Girls on online dating sites are shallow as hell.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
If it cost you more than 5 bucks, its a waste.GS750 said:No its not free. There's pros and cons I guess. But those free sites are littered with fake profiles. I've found Pof and Okcupid to be a complete waste of time. But that's just me. If anything, online dating gets you used to rejection. There's lots of that haha.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.