"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Please help with this club/bar situation

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,943
Reaction score
19,257
Jfc what a waste of energy this thread has become. 75 posts on how to handle one’s self in a bar when not drinking, none of that advice was followed, this is what this place is turning into, this type of thread where members are trying to give advice to someone who is not listening to a word being said
This thread appears to be someone that has no idea how to act in that setting because they have not frequented it much trying to unlock a "Holy Grail" of how to behave in that environment but coming off as strange.

I've seen this before many times from my perch above the dancefloor and it always turns out the same way...them giving off weird vibes due to not understanding how social interactions work in that environment.

OP would be far better off learning by immersion instead of to trying to hack the system when there is no hack for it.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,939
Age
42
Location
Florida
Jfc what a waste of energy this thread has become. 75 posts on how to handle one’s self in a bar when not drinking, none of that advice was followed, this is what this place is turning into, this type of thread where members are trying to give advice to someone who is not listening to a word being said
You’re actually worse troll a troll.. this is the last thing I am going to say and people here continuing to actually respond to you are insane for wasting their energy unless they have nothing else to do with their time either, you want to experience something that costs money without being willing to shell out the cost of being there, you must be a hell of a great time to hang out with.
If it makes you feel any better, I did take your advice seriously and added that to my repertoire of what is going on in that environment. Understanding what's going on in social settings is something I've struggled with my whole life, and what I've learned since high school is that the best way forward is to be cool with being a bit different. It's much less awkward that way.

According to Robert Greene's applied psychology in his book "The Art Of Seduction," I start off as the sincere and honest archetype, and as I get more comfortable I become the charismatic archetype and people go from being tolerant of my differences to being impressed by them.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,943
Reaction score
19,257
If it makes you feel any better, I did take your advice seriously and added that to my repertoire of what is going on in that environment. Understanding what's going on in social settings is something I've struggled with my whole life, and what I've learned since high school is that the best way forward is to be cool with being a bit different. It's much less awkward that way.

According to Robert Greene's applied psychology in his book "The Art Of Seduction," I start off as the sincere and honest archetype, and as I get more comfortable I become the charismatic archetype and people go from being tolerant of my differences to being impressed by them.
OP, I think you may be unintentionally trying to turn yourself into something you aren't and that makes you come off as weird and incongruent.

The goal isn't to become a new person and be someone you aren't, the goal is to maximize your strengths and present them in attractive ways while minimizing your weaknesses while incrementally working on strengthening those so they are less of a weakness and eventually may even become a strength.

If you are quiet and reserved, trying to become the life of the party isn't going to work. You lean into that side of you and just work on presenting it in a more attractive way to maximize your results. Trying to completely change your personality is not going to get you results, it will have people looking at you like you are a weirdo.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,080
Reaction score
1,939
Age
42
Location
Florida
OP, I think you may be unintentionally trying to turn yourself into something you aren't and that makes you come off as weird and incongruent.

The goal isn't to become a new person and be someone you aren't, the goal is to maximize your strengths and present them in attractive ways while minimizing your weaknesses while incrementally working on strengthening those so they are less of a weakness and eventually may even become a strength.

If you are quiet and reserved, trying to become the life of the party isn't going to work. You lean into that side of you and just work on presenting it in a more attractive way to maximize your results. Trying to completely change your personality is not going to get you results, it will have people looking at you like you are a weirdo.
I agree 100% with your perspective, but you obviously misunderstand who I am.
 
Top