She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Plant your seed deeper.MotownMack said:
Plus you should try not to have a huge period of empty time between your last message and your meeting. Also, when you do meet, there's no need to start over. Pick up where you left off or even better, project yourself even further beyond the level of comfort that you had reached, start off immediately at the trust stage.Latinoman said:
I won't debate this as I know I am right on this particular issue based on life experience.frivolousz21 said:
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What you can do is simply try to meet women who fit, at the very least, what you believe would be the physical characteristics that would lead to initial chemical reaction/attraction-from my perspective at least.Latinoman said:
This is huge. I consciously approached my last meeting -as if- I already knew her, in efforts to avoid the initial awkwardness. Acting as if you are already a friend, confidant, even perhaps lover goes a long way in displaying value, and also creates a comfort level right out of the gate.Francisco d'Anconia said:Plant your seed deeper.
I have experienced it in offline meetings as well. Functionally though, once I have met the online people, if there is a chemical attraction going on both ways, it is NO different at that point from a meeting offline as far as I am concerned.Latinoman said:
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with thatLatinoman said:
That's not what I mean. Sex (if both of you are compatible) can get her attached to you. And if she has a strong chemical reaction for you...you will get plenty of that. When things go wrong (assuming you are in a LTR with her)...sex becomes the thing that will keep the relationship going...giving you time to jump-start things.thirdtimescharm said:Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with that
I'm not sure how we got from a discussion of online dating and initial chemistry to talking about how a sexual bond is valuable in overcoming issues in a LTR.Latinoman said:
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Because chemical reaction and sex goes hand on hand. And both eventually is the heat that can keep the fire going in a relationship that otherwise would have ended long time ago. In essence...when a relationship runs in fumes...it is thanks to that INITIAL chemical reaction and sex is typically what keep the fumes going. And many times that is what give you time enough to work on other areas and save the relationship.thirdtimescharm said: