Online dating

[Latinoman]

Motown...I am a STRONG believer that the intial chemical reaction that comes from attraction is very important. In fact, it can make the difference when it comes to the success of a relationship.

You don't get that chemical reaction from On-line.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...But I am starting to feel like when you first meet-days after most of the emotions you implanted in her mind are long gone, you're almost back to square one.

Plant your seed deeper. Plus you should try not to have a huge period of empty time between your last message and your meeting. Also, when you do meet, there's no need to start over. Pick up where you left off or even better, project yourself even further beyond the level of comfort that you had reached, start off immediately at the trust stage.

 

[frivolousz21]

Motown...I am a STRONG believer that the intial chemical reaction that comes from attraction is very important. In fact, it can make the difference when it comes to the success of a relationship.

You don't get that chemical reaction from On-line.

thats not true.

the chemical reaction is not just sparked by physical communication and contact

 

[Latinoman]

thats not true.

the chemical reaction is not just sparked by physical communication and contact

I won't debate this as I know I am right on this particular issue based on life experience.

Chemical reaction requires the use of all five senses. That's how you really start that chemical reaction.

On-line adds to the FANTASY element. I will give you that. But it typically lead to "ooops" and false expectations. . However, a well placed words and a great kiss...would bring as much fantasy.

 

[decades]

online is a perfect place to meet the co-star of your next F'up relationship.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Motown...I am a STRONG believer that the intial chemical reaction that comes from attraction is very important. In fact, it can make the difference when it comes to the success of a relationship.

You don't get that chemical reaction from On-line.

What you can do is simply try to meet women who fit, at the very least, what you believe would be the physical characteristics that would lead to initial chemical reaction/attraction-from my perspective at least.

I am certainly very guilty of not having had the confidence to approach the types of women who I am most physically attracted to in the past, but being able to connect with them online (as I have on a number of occasions) and then take it to the next level has added immensely to my confidence to now approach these types of women offline as well.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Plant your seed deeper. Plus you should try not to have a huge period of empty time between your last message and your meeting. Also, when you do meet, there's no need to start over. Pick up where you left off or even better, project yourself even further beyond the level of comfort that you had reached, start off immediately at the trust stage.

This is huge. I consciously approached my last meeting -as if- I already knew her, in efforts to avoid the initial awkwardness. Acting as if you are already a friend, confidant, even perhaps lover goes a long way in displaying value, and also creates a comfort level right out of the gate.

Oh, something else I did which I thought was pure genius...this woman had cats, and in our initial emails, I mentioned I was probably allergic, and then I called her a cat-lady, but when we met, I was fully armed...with $1.99 bag of catnip as a gift.

 

[Latinoman]

What you can do is simply try to meet women who fit, at the very least, what you believe would be the physical characteristics that you believe would lead to initial chemical reaction/attraction-from my perspective at least.

I am certainly very guilty of not having had the confidence to approach the types of women who I am most physically attracted to in the past, but being able to connect with them online (as I have on a number of occasions) and then take it to the next level has added immensely to my confidence to now approach these types of women offline as well.

That's fine and I'm glad you are working on yourself.

But the chemical reaction that you see coming from a woman...you will, someday experience in person. And it will come.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

That's fine and I'm glad you are working on yourself.

But the chemical reaction that you see coming from a woman...you will, someday experience in person. And it will come.

I have experienced it in offline meetings as well. Functionally though, once I have met the online people, if there is a chemical attraction going on both ways, it is NO different at that point from a meeting offline as far as I am concerned.

 

[Latinoman]

My experience with women that have shown a strong chemical reaction for me...those women tend to be in a "blitz state" to the point that there is no other men in their minds or eyes.

Of course...sex adds to that chemical reaction.

Trust me when I say that it is stronger in person and when they first see you in person.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I trust, that in your experience, you believe that to be the case. It does not make it certifiable fact for everyone else.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Of course...sex adds to that chemical reaction.

Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with that

 

[Latinoman]

Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with that

That's not what I mean. Sex (if both of you are compatible) can get her attached to you. And if she has a strong chemical reaction for you...you will get plenty of that. When things go wrong (assuming you are in a LTR with her)...sex becomes the thing that will keep the relationship going...giving you time to jump-start things.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

That's not what I mean. Sex (if both of you are compatible) can get her attached to you. And if she has a strong chemical reaction for you...you will get plenty of that. When things go wrong (assuming you are in a LTR with her)...sex becomes the thing that will keep the relationship going...giving you time to jump-start things.

I'm not sure how we got from a discussion of online dating and initial chemistry to talking about how a sexual bond is valuable in overcoming issues in a LTR.

 

[Latinoman]

I trust, that in your experience, you believe that to be the case. It does not make it certifiable fact for everyone else.

I have that experience more than once and in ALL my LTR. Very few men have that experience.

 

[Latinoman]

I'm not sure how we got from a discussion of online dating and initial chemistry to talking about how a sexual bond is valuable in overcoming issues in a LTR.

Because chemical reaction and sex goes hand on hand. And both eventually is the heat that can keep the fire going in a relationship that otherwise would have ended long time ago. In essence...when a relationship runs in fumes...it is thanks to that INITIAL chemical reaction and sex is typically what keep the fumes going. And many times that is what give you time enough to work on other areas and save the relationship.

Very handy if you end up marrying one of those women. Which is always a possibility. That's why I pay close attention to EVERYTHING early in the relationship. I have no desire to marry again...but you never know.

 

[thedeparted]

Online works. But it takes an hour to do what you could do IRL in three minutes.

However, you can indeed sort through a lot of crap. I basically skip over 90% of the women who show me by what they write that they are basically stupid. I'm too old to waste my time. If they are not interesting... forget it.