I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Plant your seed deeper.MotownMack said:
Plus you should try not to have a huge period of empty time between your last message and your meeting. Also, when you do meet, there's no need to start over. Pick up where you left off or even better, project yourself even further beyond the level of comfort that you had reached, start off immediately at the trust stage.Latinoman said:
I won't debate this as I know I am right on this particular issue based on life experience.frivolousz21 said:
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
What you can do is simply try to meet women who fit, at the very least, what you believe would be the physical characteristics that would lead to initial chemical reaction/attraction-from my perspective at least.Latinoman said:
This is huge. I consciously approached my last meeting -as if- I already knew her, in efforts to avoid the initial awkwardness. Acting as if you are already a friend, confidant, even perhaps lover goes a long way in displaying value, and also creates a comfort level right out of the gate.Francisco d'Anconia said:Plant your seed deeper.
I have experienced it in offline meetings as well. Functionally though, once I have met the online people, if there is a chemical attraction going on both ways, it is NO different at that point from a meeting offline as far as I am concerned.Latinoman said:
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with thatLatinoman said:
That's not what I mean. Sex (if both of you are compatible) can get her attached to you. And if she has a strong chemical reaction for you...you will get plenty of that. When things go wrong (assuming you are in a LTR with her)...sex becomes the thing that will keep the relationship going...giving you time to jump-start things.thirdtimescharm said:Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with that
I'm not sure how we got from a discussion of online dating and initial chemistry to talking about how a sexual bond is valuable in overcoming issues in a LTR.Latinoman said:
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Because chemical reaction and sex goes hand on hand. And both eventually is the heat that can keep the fire going in a relationship that otherwise would have ended long time ago. In essence...when a relationship runs in fumes...it is thanks to that INITIAL chemical reaction and sex is typically what keep the fumes going. And many times that is what give you time enough to work on other areas and save the relationship.thirdtimescharm said: