Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Plant your seed deeper.MotownMack said:
Plus you should try not to have a huge period of empty time between your last message and your meeting. Also, when you do meet, there's no need to start over. Pick up where you left off or even better, project yourself even further beyond the level of comfort that you had reached, start off immediately at the trust stage.Latinoman said:
I won't debate this as I know I am right on this particular issue based on life experience.frivolousz21 said:
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
What you can do is simply try to meet women who fit, at the very least, what you believe would be the physical characteristics that would lead to initial chemical reaction/attraction-from my perspective at least.Latinoman said:
This is huge. I consciously approached my last meeting -as if- I already knew her, in efforts to avoid the initial awkwardness. Acting as if you are already a friend, confidant, even perhaps lover goes a long way in displaying value, and also creates a comfort level right out of the gate.Francisco d'Anconia said:Plant your seed deeper.
I have experienced it in offline meetings as well. Functionally though, once I have met the online people, if there is a chemical attraction going on both ways, it is NO different at that point from a meeting offline as far as I am concerned.Latinoman said:
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with thatLatinoman said:
That's not what I mean. Sex (if both of you are compatible) can get her attached to you. And if she has a strong chemical reaction for you...you will get plenty of that. When things go wrong (assuming you are in a LTR with her)...sex becomes the thing that will keep the relationship going...giving you time to jump-start things.thirdtimescharm said:Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with that
I'm not sure how we got from a discussion of online dating and initial chemistry to talking about how a sexual bond is valuable in overcoming issues in a LTR.Latinoman said:
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Because chemical reaction and sex goes hand on hand. And both eventually is the heat that can keep the fire going in a relationship that otherwise would have ended long time ago. In essence...when a relationship runs in fumes...it is thanks to that INITIAL chemical reaction and sex is typically what keep the fumes going. And many times that is what give you time enough to work on other areas and save the relationship.thirdtimescharm said: