She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Plant your seed deeper.MotownMack said:
Plus you should try not to have a huge period of empty time between your last message and your meeting. Also, when you do meet, there's no need to start over. Pick up where you left off or even better, project yourself even further beyond the level of comfort that you had reached, start off immediately at the trust stage.Latinoman said:
I won't debate this as I know I am right on this particular issue based on life experience.frivolousz21 said:
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
What you can do is simply try to meet women who fit, at the very least, what you believe would be the physical characteristics that would lead to initial chemical reaction/attraction-from my perspective at least.Latinoman said:
This is huge. I consciously approached my last meeting -as if- I already knew her, in efforts to avoid the initial awkwardness. Acting as if you are already a friend, confidant, even perhaps lover goes a long way in displaying value, and also creates a comfort level right out of the gate.Francisco d'Anconia said:Plant your seed deeper.
I have experienced it in offline meetings as well. Functionally though, once I have met the online people, if there is a chemical attraction going on both ways, it is NO different at that point from a meeting offline as far as I am concerned.Latinoman said:
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with thatLatinoman said:
That's not what I mean. Sex (if both of you are compatible) can get her attached to you. And if she has a strong chemical reaction for you...you will get plenty of that. When things go wrong (assuming you are in a LTR with her)...sex becomes the thing that will keep the relationship going...giving you time to jump-start things.thirdtimescharm said:Sex is getting a little beyond what we were talking about here, which was initial meeting chemistry. Having sex with a woman, any woman, is going to release more chemicals into her which will ramp up her level of attraction no matter where things started out. Unless of course, she was just using you...not that there is anything wrong with that
I'm not sure how we got from a discussion of online dating and initial chemistry to talking about how a sexual bond is valuable in overcoming issues in a LTR.Latinoman said:
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Because chemical reaction and sex goes hand on hand. And both eventually is the heat that can keep the fire going in a relationship that otherwise would have ended long time ago. In essence...when a relationship runs in fumes...it is thanks to that INITIAL chemical reaction and sex is typically what keep the fumes going. And many times that is what give you time enough to work on other areas and save the relationship.thirdtimescharm said: