"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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One Liner Text jokes... What are yours?

Von

Von

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Do you send one liner text jokes ?

What are they?

Here's mine: '' If aliens invaded earth. You know why they wouldn't eat clowns? Cause they would taste funny''
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Desdinova

Desdinova

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I've never been a joke teller. If I text anything funny, it's something witty, an inside joke, something interesting that happened to me, or something that reflects my personality.
 
Maximus Rex

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Don't tell jokes via text, it may or may not go over well. Plus, you're also assuming that chick is on the ball enough to get the joke.
 
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SmooveMooves

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I like jokes just for the sake of jokes but I wouldn't tell jokes over text to chicks. Thats basically saying that you're her personal entertainment.

Most of the jokes I tell are observational.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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zinc4

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I thought the jokes in this thread sucked and I have a very open sense of humor...depends in how well you can identify her humor I think.
 
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I was in Paris with an ex and we walked by where Princess Diana
was killed in a car crash....

I turned and asked her "hey, how come Superman didn't save Princess Diana?"

She looked at me and said "I know, right?"

I said...."Well......because he's in a wheelchair..."
 
F

fastlife

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I've been working on text game hard over the past few weeks--total sticking point for me since forever, so the whole SS idea of Only text to setup dates was really appealing since it allowed me to stick to my comfort zone (even though in retrospect it's cost me a ton of lays).

But I've been having good results just telling myself little inside jokes in my text convos with girls. Whether they get it or not or are entertained by them or not doesn't really matter, that's not the point--but it keeps me engaged which keeps them engaged. I just say a bunch of off the wall ****--back and forth, switching subjects, basically having a conversation with myself that they're allowed to witness and to experience emotionally.
 
Atom Smasher

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Desdinova said:
I've never been a joke teller. If I text anything funny, it's something witty, an inside joke, something interesting that happened to me, or something that reflects my personality.
Click to expand...
I don't get it. That wasn't funny. :D
 
Y

Yewki

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Von said:
Here's mine: '' If aliens invaded earth. You know why they wouldn't eat clowns? Cause they would taste funny''
Click to expand...
This is the type of thing you would text a friend, not a girl you're trying to bang. Otherwise this roughly translates to, "Please like me"
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Von

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Usually text only to get the date... but i use "one liners" as a sort of keep in touch or reinitiate à contact.

Some girls reply, some don't.... that i have laid them/kissed them/friendzone them as not been a variable in the response rate.

Girl i got friday.... didn't reply
Girl in another city coming back in 2months replied to all (i told her i would call her in may, she sent her digits, i Texted her 2 jokes since)
Girl i laid but now live abroad... did reply to one, but not the other
2 girls who i got the phone no replies
Girl friends... 100% reply

Its to reopen contact out of the blue... than 1 week later if i am free ask them out
 
Atom Smasher

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I agree with Yewki. Texting jokes to women is a no-no in my world. Their little brainlets don't even comprehend the humor half the time. It also comes off as try-hard.

Of course sometimes a joke will work, but the odds are so high that it won't that it's best to steer clear unless you're an absolute master at text game.
 
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CMNILS87

CMNILS87

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Her: OMG How long have you been playing Guitar?

Me: Since the summer of '69........
Her: Wut?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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O

old_skoolr

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I dont mind the jokes over text. Its a good breaker instead of the boring "hey how are you?"

Just make sure there something she will get it otherwise its a fail or you come on to hard.

I used to just text random things to chicks, the jokes will be around women. For example.

"So this chick told me she wanted a guy that'll take her breath away....so I punched her in the chest"

"This girl I was seeing said that I never see things from her perspective, so I went to the kitchen"

Stuff like this would get girls responding like: "LMAO OMG Your such an d1ck!!!!"
 
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