One Liner Text jokes... What are yours?

[Von]

Do you send one liner text jokes ?

What are they?

Here's mine: '' If aliens invaded earth. You know why they wouldn't eat clowns? Cause they would taste funny''

 

[Bingo-Player]

i did actually chuckle at that

 

[Desdinova]

I've never been a joke teller. If I text anything funny, it's something witty, an inside joke, something interesting that happened to me, or something that reflects my personality.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Don't tell jokes via text, it may or may not go over well. Plus, you're also assuming that chick is on the ball enough to get the joke.

 

[SmooveMooves]

I like jokes just for the sake of jokes but I wouldn't tell jokes over text to chicks. Thats basically saying that you're her personal entertainment.

Most of the jokes I tell are observational.

 

[zinc4]

I thought the jokes in this thread sucked and I have a very open sense of humor...depends in how well you can identify her humor I think.

 

[Reykhel]

I was in Paris with an ex and we walked by where Princess Diana
was killed in a car crash....

I turned and asked her "hey, how come Superman didn't save Princess Diana?"

She looked at me and said "I know, right?"

I said...."Well......because he's in a wheelchair..."

 

[fastlife]

I've been working on text game hard over the past few weeks--total sticking point for me since forever, so the whole SS idea of Only text to setup dates was really appealing since it allowed me to stick to my comfort zone (even though in retrospect it's cost me a ton of lays).

But I've been having good results just telling myself little inside jokes in my text convos with girls. Whether they get it or not or are entertained by them or not doesn't really matter, that's not the point--but it keeps me engaged which keeps them engaged. I just say a bunch of off the wall ****--back and forth, switching subjects, basically having a conversation with myself that they're allowed to witness and to experience emotionally.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've never been a joke teller. If I text anything funny, it's something witty, an inside joke, something interesting that happened to me, or something that reflects my personality.

I don't get it. That wasn't funny.

 

[Yewki]

Here's mine: '' If aliens invaded earth. You know why they wouldn't eat clowns? Cause they would taste funny''

This is the type of thing you would text a friend, not a girl you're trying to bang. Otherwise this roughly translates to, "Please like me"

 

[Von]

Usually text only to get the date... but i use "one liners" as a sort of keep in touch or reinitiate à contact.

Some girls reply, some don't.... that i have laid them/kissed them/friendzone them as not been a variable in the response rate.

Girl i got friday.... didn't reply
Girl in another city coming back in 2months replied to all (i told her i would call her in may, she sent her digits, i Texted her 2 jokes since)
Girl i laid but now live abroad... did reply to one, but not the other
2 girls who i got the phone no replies
Girl friends... 100% reply

Its to reopen contact out of the blue... than 1 week later if i am free ask them out

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree with Yewki. Texting jokes to women is a no-no in my world. Their little brainlets don't even comprehend the humor half the time. It also comes off as try-hard.

Of course sometimes a joke will work, but the odds are so high that it won't that it's best to steer clear unless you're an absolute master at text game.

 

[CMNILS87]

Her: OMG How long have you been playing Guitar?

Me: Since the summer of '69........
Her: Wut?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Exactly.

 

[GetFit66]

Her: OMG How long have you been playing Guitar?

Me: Since the summer of '69........
Her: Wut?

Minus her not getting it, I liked that one.

 

[gravityeyelids]

What's the difference between a mosquito and your mother?

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Girl: <something stupid>. BTW, you left your glasses.
Me: Come bring them to me.

 

[old_skoolr]

I dont mind the jokes over text. Its a good breaker instead of the boring "hey how are you?"

Just make sure there something she will get it otherwise its a fail or you come on to hard.

I used to just text random things to chicks, the jokes will be around women. For example.

"So this chick told me she wanted a guy that'll take her breath away....so I punched her in the chest"

"This girl I was seeing said that I never see things from her perspective, so I went to the kitchen"

Stuff like this would get girls responding like: "LMAO OMG Your such an d1ck!!!!"