"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Oh Fvvvcccckkkkkk!!!!!!!

woods

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So I put my ex on FB status, to help me get over some oneitis, and something VERY bad happened.

Who wants to take a guess at what that is?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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banGbro

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Hm, she got pregnant? AND you didnt knock her out?
 

woods

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no, I didnt knock her out. im talking on the phone with her as I type. Im not ruling out the possibility that she's lying though. And I doubt she's gonna want to keep it, but HOLY CRAP anyway's!
 

woods

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banGbro said:
I are on the money, so?
So...."Bartender, keep em comin!"

I dont know. Im just venting. Not looking for advice.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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penkitten

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five bucks says shes not, but she wants the relationship back.
i expect a depoist to be made in my paypal account within seven days :)
 

Wyldfire

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What exactly did she say?

If she said "My period is late.", "I think I'm pregnant.", "I must be pregnant"...she's probably not.

If she said "I took a test and it's positive", etc...she probably is.
 

Obsidian

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casual, unprotected sex with someone you aren't actually that attracted to -- what a great plan
 

KarmaSutra

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Obsidian said:
casual, unprotected sex with someone you aren't actually that attracted to -- what a great plan
Looks like a new sheriff is in town boys. Who made you the moral measuring stick? Also, learn to fvcking read. He put his EX on the back burner and now she's pissed she got delegated to FB ( that means Fvck Buddy ).

Genius.
 

Obsidian

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i'm assuming she's his ex for a reason, meaning he didn't want to go out with her anymore
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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woods

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Oh, wow, you guys are delving. Fine, I'll give you details: She is a Jeckyl and Hyde chick. She's rich, high class, hollywood, knows and has dated rock stars and movie stars, incredibly kinky and insane in bed. Sometimes she is the PERFECT woman. The rest of the time, shes a lying, cheating, drunk, psycho. I dumped her when I woke up one day. I was with her for a year, and ignored all the signs cuz I was obsessed, like every other guy. This is the chick, whos "stalker" busted my door down and tried to kill me. Im the only guy who has successfully walked away from her, and Im a broke tatooed rocknroll scumbag. Not her type at all, but she fell in love with me and has never been in love with anyone else.

Anyway, enough time has passed, and I needed to get laid. We're both ok with the fvckbuddy thing, and she has HALF a uterus, and one kidney, and is physically and medically "unable" to get pregnant, hence the unprotected sex. She may very well be lying, but it doesnt sound like it. She is a VERY good liar, though.
 

banGbro

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Dude. ew

HALF uterous and one kidney, ew


I dumped her when I woke up one day, lol, that is funny. I bet you mean in the morning, just wake up for real, shes not a woman, shes a b1tch
 

woods

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I meant "woke up" as in woke up. I fell out of love and realized that she wasnt the only one, no matter how hot she is. I know shes a ***** and a hor. All I've been doing is letting her buy me dinners and screwing each others brains out. She is super-hot, and sexually, we are a match made in heaven, so thats all it is.
 

woods

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Wyldfire said:
What exactly did she say?

If she said "My period is late.", "I think I'm pregnant.", "I must be pregnant"...she's probably not.

If she said "I took a test and it's positive", etc...she probably is.
She said she took two tests. She said she threw one of them at her roomate for being a dyck about fvcking me again, lol.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Oxide

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Yeah i knew a girl who is "physically unable" - she is gonna deliver a kid in 3 months.

And.. for a broke dumbass may be this isn't such a bad deal? a rich hot girl?
 

Thomas94305

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Look..

1) You need to get some simple status on if she's pregnant. Just be calm. If she's pregnant, then she should take an EPT. If she is, then she should go to a doctor for general care. If she doesn't do these things, then you can openly ask her what's wrong? See what her reaction is. If anything, just wait a couple of months, and her game is over. She doesn't have anywhere to go with this. She's either telling the truth, or playing a game. Give her some rope and see if she hangs herself.

2) You don't have to tell her this part. But, as the dust settles on the pregnancy thing, decide for yourself if you want anything to do with her.. FB or not, given the drama. You know the advice you'll get here on this issue. Decide for yourself.
 

woods

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Obsidian said:
half a uterus, wtf does that mean
It means she has serious medical problems, and half her uterus was removed, along with one kidney. Its nothing weird, you cant tell. it looks and feels fine. The chances of her getting pregnant are astronomical though. The doctor will most likely recomend an abortion for safety reasons. It could kill her.
 
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